Getting judged after the loss

Oh boy have I heard it and yes, I'm tired of it!!! I went from 213 lbs (5'6") in Sept. 2012, to now 137 lbs. It took over 2 years to come this far and, although I'm happy at this weight and trying to find my maintenance point, I am almost tempted to drop a little lower...just because I darn well can! It's frustrating to work so hard to get to a healthy weight and to feel awesome, only to have people tell me I'm "too skinny" or "need to gain back a few lbs". Seriously? I'm 43 years old. I think I know what is good for me. In fact, your post is timely because I just heard from 3 different people in the last 24 hrs that I don't need to lose "another pound". I never heard so much commentary when I was fat, so where were all of these opinions then? Why is it okay to say such things to someone who is thin that you would never say to someone overweight?

Another issue I have is my own reaction when people say these things. Instead of saying thank you and moving on, I feel the need to justify myself...almost as if I'm on the defensive. I find myself explaining I am trying to hit maintenance and my goals are more for toning, strength, and heart health. Of course, then I'm babbling. I hate when I do that!! I'm really trying to quit defending/explaining myself. It's nobody's business.

Someone says to me "don't get too skinny" I'll sometimes respond with, "Don't get too fat!"

I'm not really sure why one is viewed as more offensive than the other. <shrug>

Seriously, though, we (collectively) are so used to seeing the morbidly obese we have a skewed sense of what "healthy weight" looks like. We think simply overweight, or even obese, is healthy.

We need to challenge that thought process.

I've heard a lot of "you haven't gone anorexic on us, have you?" jokes. my coworkers stand by, at the ready, to offer me the name of a good doctor to help, when I'm ready to admit that I have a problem. ...but, oddly enough, if I split a donut with someone, I'm suddenly "finally off that diet, huh?"

there is no winning. but it's alright, now. I've learned my lesson well. See, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself.

Ignore what other people say. You should be so proud of your huge accomplishment!

Congrats!

A while back, I lost a significant amount of weight over the summer, between semesters for college. 40 lbs in three or four months I think. When I got back to campus, my best friend told me I looked sick, too skinny, and that I was more attractive as a bigger person. Our other friend told her to stop saying those things to me because I was happy and I was obviously moving in a healthy direction. My friend's reaction to me really really bothered me, because I trusted her a lot. But I also had to acknowledge the fact that her opinion is her own, and my is mine.

You don't look too skinny to me, just smile at them and say thank you for noticing how fabulous i look its so much appreciated, smile and walk away from their shocked faces!!

Isabelle_1929 wrote: »

Don't hesitate to tell people that it's rude to make negative comments on the way you look.

Because it is.

Many years ago, in my workplace, I fixed the situation in the lunch room, at noon. I was sick and tired of being calld too skinny or too small, although I was not at all (I was around 110 - 112 pounds for a 5'3, would NEVER skip a meal, and with "perfect" results at annual medical check up).

(Beside, even if someone was too skinny - how is this his colleagues' business?)

Anyhow, at lunch time, I told a colleague (who used to comment on my weight and body shape) something like "Wow, in these pants, we really see how your *kitten* is much bigger than it was a year ago". Then - in the silence that ensued - I said calmly: "Now, all of you know how I feel when I am told I am too skinny or does not have the body shape that suit your personal taste. There is no such thing as a "well-intentioned insult". Trust me, I have a harsh comment in bank for any one here who will be tempted to criticize my body shape or weight. If it's not your weight, that'll be your nose, teeth, legs, wrinkles, flabby chin, whatever."

That was the end of it. No one mentioned this incident ever after, but no one ever made mean remarks on my weight anymore.

Wow, ballsy. Go you.

I have also experienced this. Two years ago I lost 40 lbs going from a size 12 to a size 6. My doctor commended my new healthier lifestyle which consisted of eating nutritionally and working out 4 nights a week. One thing I ran into A LOT was family and friends complaining when I wouldn't eat another helping for dinner or not eating a slice of cake at a birthday party. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of cheats, but I was proud that I could say "No" to something I knew wasn't healthy for me. Eventually, my family and friends stopped the comments and I'm glad I didn't listen to them. If you lost weight healthily and your doctor gives the go ahead, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Keep up the awesome work and the comments will begin to wane. Hey, it might also rub off on some of those people

Congrats that's awesome! I lost 20 lbs a couple years ago (back to my 'original' weight) and had a friend who was constantly telling me I needed to eat more and that he was going to have to feed me. Which is odd because he also recently lost a bunch of weight. My MIL got super worried when my husband lost a few pounds and kept harping at him to get checked out - but in her defence, his father DID die of cancer and their first sign of his illness was rapid weight loss, so it's always on her mind.

So......somewhere between too big and too thin you were perfect and no one told you??? Haha. At least that is a good comeback....

I just lost 32 pounds and was just recently told I look like a bobble head!!! Kinda funny!!