Getting judged after the loss

My great-grandmother was mad at my entire family and nobody could figure out why. She finally told my mom "I can't believe Jen is sick and nobody told me." She thought I lost weight because I was DYING. Unreal. So yes, I experienced that with a much less drastic weight loss than you so I can only imagine the comments you're getting. All you can do is laugh it off. You don't owe anyone an explanation. A lot of the time it's just jealousy anyway. You're happy and you feel good...don't let anyone ruin that!

Hey!

That's really great that you have made so much progress! If your doctor is happy for you then obviously you are not at an unhealthy weight. If you feel great then that's what matters. Unfortunately that does put a damper on things if everyone else seems to be saying otherwise... but frankly they probably don't know what they're talking about. People will judge you no matter what. Maybe they are just not used to seeing you this way so now compared to your old self you look "too thin." It's like seeing someone who is normally quiet suddenly become loud. It just doesn't fit their box of who they think you are.

I have been working really hard at losing weight too. I've lost about 15 pounds but I have gained a lot of muscle so now I look more toned and much smaller. My boyfriend said that I looked "too thin" when I sent him a progress photo so I know how it feels... Eventually he got over the shock of how much I had changed since I had last seen him and he said that I look great. It might not be the same situation for you but maybe people just need to get used to seeing how you are and then they will see how much you have improoved..? Another idea is that maybe people are saying that you are too skinny because you look "small". I don't know if you have a lot of musscle mass or not but maybe that is your problem? Gaining musscle will make you look much bigger and not so "skinny."

Hope this helps! Good luck!

When I'm where I want to be weight-wise, I also get "skinny" comments. If your BMI is in a healthy range and your doctor is in agreement that it's a healthy weight, I wouldn't worry about the comments. Some people just don't want you to look better than they do.

I work in healthcare and seriously get asked on average twice a week if I have cancer. I have only lost about 40 pounds and barely have a normal BMI. On Friday while at a conference, I had a colleague that I only see once a year (at this conference) say "Wow, you lost a lot of weight, I didn't know you were that fat. I hope you aren't losing anymore"
People are so used to the world of heavier that the fit people are outkast.

People are so used to everyone being fat that they just assume something is wrong when a person isn't.

DWQuinn60681 wrote: »

WOW. You are all making me feel better. It was really annoying to me, but apparently everybody goes through it. I have also had the "didn't know you were that fat" conversation. I just followed that comment up with "Just think if I lost it, you can too". That shut them down on that comment.

Have you noticed how many people start here, look up the healthy weight range for their height, and post that there's no way they could possibly lose that much weight - that they'd look emaciated? And when these same people get down to the initial goal they set for themselves, they realize that they their 'ideal weight' is still quite a bit fatter than they really thought they'd be.

Most overweight people don't appreciate how much extra weight they themselves are carrying, let alone how much weight someone else has to lose.

Its something you unfortunately get used to. Ive lost 152 pounds so far and I get it from all angles with the comments and people seem to think I am going to become anorexic even though I say I only am 3 pounds from my original goal then ill figure out where I want to go. You know whats best for you.

Don't hesitate to tell people that it's rude to make negative comments on the way you look.

Because it is.

Many years ago, in my workplace, I fixed the situation in the lunch room, at noon. I was sick and tired of being calld too skinny or too small, although I was not at all (I was around 110 - 112 pounds for a 5'3, would NEVER skip a meal, and with "perfect" results at annual medical check up).

(Beside, even if someone was too skinny - how is this his colleagues' business?)

Anyhow, at lunch time, I told a colleague (who used to comment on my weight and body shape) something like "Wow, in these pants, we really see how your *kitten* is much bigger than it was a year ago". Then - in the silence that ensued - I said calmly: "Now, all of you know how I feel when I am told I am too skinny or does not have the body shape that suit your personal taste. There is no such thing as a "well-intentioned insult". Trust me, I have a harsh comment in bank for any one here who will be tempted to criticize my body shape or weight. If it's not your weight, that'll be your nose, teeth, legs, wrinkles, flabby chin, whatever."

That was the end of it. No one mentioned this incident ever after, but no one ever made mean remarks on my weight anymore.

Yes, brushing it off is usually the best solution. Most people don't mean harm.

What happened in my workplace was the result of months of disparaging comments from a few colleagues ... I obviously do not recommend "having a fit" as soon as someone mentions that you're trimmer than before ! ;-)

Oh boy have I heard it and yes, I'm tired of it!!! I went from 213 lbs (5'6") in Sept. 2012, to now 137 lbs. It took over 2 years to come this far and, although I'm happy at this weight and trying to find my maintenance point, I am almost tempted to drop a little lower...just because I darn well can! It's frustrating to work so hard to get to a healthy weight and to feel awesome, only to have people tell me I'm "too skinny" or "need to gain back a few lbs". Seriously? I'm 43 years old. I think I know what is good for me. In fact, your post is timely because I just heard from 3 different people in the last 24 hrs that I don't need to lose "another pound". I never heard so much commentary when I was fat, so where were all of these opinions then? Why is it okay to say such things to someone who is thin that you would never say to someone overweight?

Another issue I have is my own reaction when people say these things. Instead of saying thank you and moving on, I feel the need to justify myself...almost as if I'm on the defensive. I find myself explaining I am trying to hit maintenance and my goals are more for toning, strength, and heart health. Of course, then I'm babbling. I hate when I do that!! I'm really trying to quit defending/explaining myself. It's nobody's business.

Someone says to me "don't get too skinny" I'll sometimes respond with, "Don't get too fat!"

I'm not really sure why one is viewed as more offensive than the other. <shrug>

Seriously, though, we (collectively) are so used to seeing the morbidly obese we have a skewed sense of what "healthy weight" looks like. We think simply overweight, or even obese, is healthy.

We need to challenge that thought process.

I've heard a lot of "you haven't gone anorexic on us, have you?" jokes. my coworkers stand by, at the ready, to offer me the name of a good doctor to help, when I'm ready to admit that I have a problem. ...but, oddly enough, if I split a donut with someone, I'm suddenly "finally off that diet, huh?"

there is no winning. but it's alright, now. I've learned my lesson well. See, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself.

Ignore what other people say. You should be so proud of your huge accomplishment!

Congrats!

A while back, I lost a significant amount of weight over the summer, between semesters for college. 40 lbs in three or four months I think. When I got back to campus, my best friend told me I looked sick, too skinny, and that I was more attractive as a bigger person. Our other friend told her to stop saying those things to me because I was happy and I was obviously moving in a healthy direction. My friend's reaction to me really really bothered me, because I trusted her a lot. But I also had to acknowledge the fact that her opinion is her own, and my is mine.