Getting judged after the loss

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  • m1ssannthropy
    m1ssannthropy Posts: 35 Member
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    I'm so happy with this topic!! my neighbours who see me often, all want to have me make their meal plans and ask me for help (and tell me I'm pretty now and should stop losing weight)... but yeah, I was asked by some people if I lost this weight because I wanted to or if I am sick. I'm like "ehhhh". My physical therapist and GP are happy for me and I'm still well in the overweight BMI and lost 37 kilo since last year february, so no quick sprint, except that I've been doing PiYO, Kettlebell and Yoga for the past 5 months, so getting muscle and loving those upper arms getting tighter and just my physical strength increasing. I was getting mixed signals from her, I had to wonder if I look sick haha! I'm so happy more people experience this and I'm not alone... after I told her I was losing weight on purpose she did want to know how and has joined MFP ;) but the "you look pretty like you are now so you can stop losing weight" can be a bit annoying, I'm not a slave to my BMI but my waist line is not a healthy size yet and I only just crossed the border from obese to overweight weight size - my physical size is a 10-12 us size. Want to get leaner and stronger, trying to put more focus on getting the body fat percentage down.

    ...and Go you!! well done!! :smiley:
  • Tom319
    Tom319 Posts: 1 Member
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    SideSteel wrote: »
    Additionally, I believe that most of the time, people actually mean it as a compliment when they say that you're too thin. That probably sounds crazy, but with the negative stigma that fat has, and how hard it is to lose fat, I think your friends/family probably don't mean to be hurtful when they say "you've lost too much weight!".


    ^This!! They think its what you want to hear.


  • Trishism
    Trishism Posts: 79 Member
    edited October 2014
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    My Mum is a health nut so any comments I've gotten have been from my husband's family(which I'm silently thankful for because I care more about what my own Mum thinks o.O). I was also bigger when I started working, so when I lost 60lbs before I had my son, I got a couple of comments from coworkers about how fast I was losing weight, which were fine. But then my husband's sister was looking at my high school yearbook, and I mentioned that my goal is to get back to that weight(which is 150lbs at 5'7"), and she was like 'Omg, no way you look sick!' No one ever thought that when I was that weight.

    What gets on my nerves most is one of my best friends, who seems to compare us. We both gained a fair bit after highschool, and when I lost that 60lbs her attitude was 'You better not be getting skinnier than me.' And now this time whenever we hang out she comments about how big she is, as if because I'm smaller it makes her bigger? But she isn't doing anything near what I'm doing to change it, so I find all those comments unnecessary and kind of unsupportive.

    But the most important thing is how you feel about yourself. :)
  • hermann341
    hermann341 Posts: 443 Member
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    Put an arm around their shoulder, and somberly say "Yes, I'm dying. I have lost a lot of weight, and now I've only got 50 or 60 years left."
  • ChrisM32205
    ChrisM32205 Posts: 218 Member
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    VelveteenArabian wrote: »
    People are so used to everyone being fat that they just assume something is wrong when a person isn't.
    This!!! If you feel great and enjoy the new you.. rock it! Who cares what anyone else thinks :)

  • WW_Jude_V2
    WW_Jude_V2 Posts: 209 Member
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    hermann341 wrote: »
    Put an arm around their shoulder, and somberly say "Yes, I'm dying. I have lost a lot of weight, and now I've only got 50 or 60 years left."

    Hah! Love this! I had two long time co-workers approach me about a "sensitive topic". They were truly worried that I might be ill and just not saying anything.

    It took a while for me to come up with a good response but now I just reassure people by saying "it's okay, it's on purpose!" I hope I remember to use your line next time :)

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    Asking you if you're okay is not the same as judging.
  • Rashanti1
    Rashanti1 Posts: 108 Member
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    I really think that people who are supposed to be your friends that have anything non supportive to say are jealous and threatened.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    edited October 2014
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    At my work place, people have indeed lost weight because they were seriously ill.
    It is o.k. to say "Thanks. I am fine." Then change the subject.
  • crisb2
    crisb2 Posts: 329 Member
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    @DWQuinn60681
    People tend to be negative. If you're healthy and happy ignore them, they'll get used to seeing the new you, and if they don't who cares. It happens A LOT. Congrats on your weight loss!
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
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    congratulations on your weight loss. dont mind them some people have no filter. as long as you know when to stop is the most important thing. I have been called lollipop head a couple of times which is quite amusing because i am not even thin. I just laugh it off.
  • blackcoffeeandcherrypie
    blackcoffeeandcherrypie Posts: 486 Member
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    I like to deflect awkward comments with questions; it allows me to see their thought processes and it puts them in the hot seat and not me. i.e. 'Don't you think you've lost a bit too much weight now?' 'What do you think a man of my height should weigh?' Undoubtedly they will get it wrong. You can then ask 'What do you think a person of your height should weigh?' and then you can segue into the fact that they're overweight and they could do with losing a bit. They'll be embarrassed by this and I guarantee they'll never bring it up again.
  • Falcon
    Falcon Posts: 853 Member
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    Congrats on the weight loss.

    I have a friend who would love to see me drop down to 160 and my family is backing me in the decision to lose weight. They want to see me take it off.

    Even my co-workers know I'll be dropping down to a thinner weight but most of my co-workers look to be more at an ideal weight then me. I don't think I'll be hearing too much of those comments....
  • CJsf1t
    CJsf1t Posts: 414 Member
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    hermann341 wrote: »
    Put an arm around their shoulder, and somberly say "Yes, I'm dying. I have lost a lot of weight, and now I've only got 50 or 60 years left."

    ^^ This! :#:D
  • Falcon
    Falcon Posts: 853 Member
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    bcomingfitmom wrote: »
    hermann341 wrote: »
    Put an arm around their shoulder, and somberly say "Yes, I'm dying. I have lost a lot of weight, and now I've only got 50 or 60 years left."

    ^^ This! :#:D

    That's a great way to put it :D
  • firebloom
    firebloom Posts: 109 Member
    edited October 2014
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    stealthq wrote: »
    Have you noticed how many people start here, look up the healthy weight range for their height, and post that there's no way they could possibly lose that much weight - that they'd look emaciated? And when these same people get down to the initial goal they set for themselves, they realize that they their 'ideal weight' is still quite a bit fatter than they really thought they'd be.

    Most overweight people don't appreciate how much extra weight they themselves are carrying, let alone how much weight someone else has to lose.

    This is exactly what I did. I started at 213lbs and told myself that I would be happy getting to 165lbs. I now expect to hit that goal this week but I've decided that 140lbs is my new goal.

    I'm not even in the healthy weight range yet but I've had one comment about being too thin. My ex came over to take the dog to the park (he used to be her dog too) and when she was here, she looked at me and said "that's enough, no more weight loss, you're starting to look creepy thin." I think she's just used to me looking bigger. Her new girlfriend is probably about the same size that I used to be so it's just what people are used to seeing I guess.
  • Ringo1812
    Ringo1812 Posts: 18 Member
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    People you are all inspirational. I'm not much of a talker, you could even call be boring, but that's ok because I like boring, and along with that I'm obese. I was wondering how I could stay motivated staying on this diet and then I found all of you on this website. I now get up every morning and tune into your messages and that keeps me going for the rest of the day. So I would like to thank all of you!!!!!!!
  • 1992mittens13
    1992mittens13 Posts: 65 Member
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    I would take the comments as compliments!

    To me, if they think you look sick and too skinny when you're a healthy weight.. I wouldn't want to know what they thought before the 122 lb weight loss! You are a lot healthier now than you were 122lbs ago!

    Great loss! :D
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I haven't had any of these comments yet, because I've only lost 30lbs out of 71lbs and it's not really showing, I look like I've lost maybe 15lbs or even less :confounded:
    Anyway, I hope to look good enough at 140lbs to get jealous comments like those ;)
  • ArkieLad79
    ArkieLad79 Posts: 13
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    50sFit wrote: »
    DWQuinn60681 wrote: »
    So, I am down 122 pounds, and I could not be happier. I feel great, and I am really enjoying the new, thinner me. I run now, and am staying super active. However, now I am getting the people saying I'm too thin. I have stopped losing (I'm still a size 32 pants - which is what I wanted), and my Doctor is happy for me. However, I have people asking me if something is wrong with me because I lost so much weight. Does anybody else get this? How did you handle it?
    Just give those who question a big hug and a cheek kiss as you thank them for their concern.
    And say "I have EBOLA!"
    >:)

    This is too darn funny. I love all the responses, but I do think I'll go with this.

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