Deffinate DOWN side of losing weight...

kits3n
kits3n Posts: 10 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I live in a pretty skeevy neighborhood- it's low rent and my apartment is nice, but it's full of scum and filth. I went for my regular walk tonight and decided to make it a little longer than normal. I've been harassed before in many ways, but it seems since I've lost weight and gotten a bit attractive, if I may be so vain, that I've been getting twice as much s**t as usual.. Well as I round the corner some guy is leaning against a bus stop with his friends, and as I pass he reaches out and lightly TUGS ON THE BACK OF MY HAIR. IDK if he was just so high and messed up that he thought that was ok, or if he was trying to scare me but I turned on him so fast and pretty much screamed for him to get his nasty hands off of me. He called me a *kitten* and a ho and denied doing anything of course. I called him a loser and went on my way, trying not to show how shaken I was. Lesson learned, buying mace AND a tazer with my next pay check. Very disturbed.

Replies

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    wow. I've had some inappropriate things said to me while running or walking outside but no one has ever TOUCHED me. Sorry, that stinks.
  • kits3n
    kits3n Posts: 10 Member
    Unfortunately I've been touched before. This town has really gone to h*ll... I've got some serious horror stories from the Metro system, not to scare anyone off using it. About 5 total incidents in 6 years, only 2 of them overtly sexual- but it's still way too much. They even have signs on busses saying 'please respect our female passengers' on some busses with bullet points like 'no unwanted touching'. I thought this was stuff we learned in grade school. :(:(:(
  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
    Yes, sign up for self defense as well. Can you walk in another neighborhood? I have been grabbed, followed, cat called, you name it. Scary and not fun at all.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    Yeah, I was thinking about taking a self defense class too. My neighborhood is ALRIGHT. I still have to be a bit careful.
  • SaintTawny
    SaintTawny Posts: 26 Member
    I walk with an 80lb GSD mix, and/or a 40lb red Husky that everyone around here mistakes for a wolf. Nobody bothers me when I'm out, even if it's after dark, despite this being a notoriously shady neighborhood. Some people will cross the street if they see me coming, others don't look up until we've almost met. I always pull the dogs in close and demonstrate that I have excellent control over them, which I think sometimes intimidates people more. Hah!

    Long story short, get a big dog. Better than a concealed weapon because they'll know you have it.
  • kits3n
    kits3n Posts: 10 Member
    Self defense class is something I want to do for sure, big dog isn't so much an option. It's sad because if I confine my walks to about 2 miles- the neighborhoods not that terrible. If I step outside that radius all bets are off.
  • Owlie45
    Owlie45 Posts: 806 Member
    Please check local laws before purchasing. Tazers are illegal in my town but legal in all towns around me that I regularly shop in.
    A dog is nice and can deter most. But that's expensive. And I have heard some horrible stories of women being attacked while holding their dogs leash.
    They do make key chains for self defense. Hard plastic spikes.
    Conceal carry on your body is an option. IF you are comfortable with it. If not then consider one of the others.


    When walking on my property, 11 acres and homeless like to move in. I take my rottweiler, a pocket knife, and a cell phone. When I purchase my gun later this year I will be carrying that.

  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    In my town the police department has self defense classes for women. I paid only $10.00 for a 4 week class. I feel so much more confident now when walking at night, but I still hold the pepper spray in my right hand at all times.
  • firebloom
    firebloom Posts: 109 Member
    I have exactly the same problem in my neighbourhood. I live in one of the worst areas in my city because it's cheap rent, my housemates parents own the place and I can keep my dogs here. When I walk around the neighbourhood, I get harassed a lot more since I lost weight. Men shout things at me and one guy came and grabbed me on the shoulder when I didn't respond to him. I think I'd like to gain muscle and strength once I get my weight down so that I feel more confident in defending myself when incidents like that happen.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    I lived in a notorious neighborhood where I heard gunshots nearly every night in Harrisburg, PA.. At 300 pounds I was sexually harassed or propositioned on an almost DAILY basis. It has nothing to do with if they think you look good or not, they just want to make you feel uncomfortable and intimidate you.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    No one comes near me with a big black dog tied to my waist...(they don't need to know he's really a love slut).
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,265 MFP Moderator
    Wow - I'm so sorry! I'm blessed to live in an area where that's really not an issue, but I WORK in a pretty shady place. If I ever had a flat tire getting to/from work, I'd be screwed. Many hugs your way.
  • habit365
    habit365 Posts: 174
    I am trying to figure out how he got so close to you without your awareness that he was in touching radius? I would give drug addicts/people hanging out on corners a really wide berth!! Maybe this is a suburbs vs. city thing because it would be weird where I walk to not have about 6 feet in between or even more if there is a dog involved.
  • Benjinkan
    Benjinkan Posts: 1,107 Member
    If your cell is quite chunky it can make a decent self defense weapon... aim for the bridge of the nose.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    I would suggest a gun instead of a tazer. Instead of self defense I would take my newly purchased gun and take shooting lessons.

    I'm definitely not saying women can't be strong but if a couple of guys decide to take it upon themselves to "have" you, I don't really think a self defense class is going to really help you at all. I suggest you carry a weapon that will do the job quickly and allow you to get away.

    I wouldn't concern myself about the laws when it comes to self preservation.

    Good luck.
  • JustFindingMe
    JustFindingMe Posts: 390 Member
    That's horrible! As a side note..In our office, a few years ago, we took a self awareness/safety class. ( We were having issues with the women in our office being approached going to their cars at shift end )

    They told us to never carry a "weapon" eg - knife, spike, club unless we were sure we were prepared to use it because in the moment it can be used as a weapon against us. Scary.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    JustFindingMe wrote: »
    That's horrible! As a side note..In our office, a few years ago, we took a self awareness/safety class. ( We were having issues with the women in our office being approached going to their cars at shift end )

    They told us to never carry a "weapon" eg - knife, spike, club unless we were sure we were prepared to use it because in the moment it can be used as a weapon against us. Scary.

    This is why i suggest if you have a weapon get some training on how to use it.

  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
    edited October 2014
    Yep, lonely hearts respond, but it's usually those a few notches below that minimum standard... :s
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