When/How does it happen (mindset)

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lorib642
lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
in Getting Started
I notice that many of the people who have been here for awhile and have been successful have developed a pretty healthy (for lack of a better word) lifestyle. It is a whole mindset. I don't know how to explain this well. I just know that I don't feel that way, never have. I don't think I would have got fat so easily if I did. Is it something that changes in you or were you always determined/focused?
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  • karenj_m
    karenj_m Posts: 215
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    First you start with some kind of activity you enjoy, with a slight food deficit...when you lose weight at a point where you have to go clothes shopping, or are able to play with your kids, grandkids or neices/nephews without running out of breathe...it will start to motivate you that "yah....living an active / healthy life is more fun. It starts with small steps....then you get on a roll. You'll feel better, and more confident, walk taller, etc.... :)
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    thank you :)
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
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    for me the mindset and ultimate goal is to take better care of myself. at 255 lbs i clearly was not taking care of myself emotionally, physically, etc. and don't fool yourself that you are taking good quality care of anyone else either. you can't give what you don't have.

    once i got better at making choices that best served me losing the weight was just a by product of that. I've since dropped 50lbs since figuring out that little puzzle piece. and happier as well! =)
  • FedaAckerman
    FedaAckerman Posts: 1
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    I have no idea how to use this site for communicating.. but it's a good site.
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    thanks

    I like the site, too
  • irisheyes226
    irisheyes226 Posts: 27 Member
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    I recently read a book called "Stop Whining, Start Living". It really put into perspective for me that I need to stop complaining about everything that gets in my way and just work towards my goals! I starting preplanning my meals, workouts, etc and now I feel really motivated to do more. It's almost like I took on a "fake it until you make it" mentality until it finally clicked!

    Feel free to add me for motivation and support!!
  • kagenw
    kagenw Posts: 260 Member
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    Walking with a partner seems to be effective for me. If I get out walking in the morning, the whole day's diet seems to fall right in line healthily.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    What are you struggling with specifically, OP? Is it the food part, the exercise part, or other things like emotional, stress, etc?
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    I don't think a healthy mindset is something you either have or don't have, obviously you do care about health and weight since you are here and active here.

    For me some things that are helping in developing a healthier lifestyle are patience with myself, letting go of self-judgement, finding the physical activity that I love (which is dance), and just committing to being aware of what I do, be it optimal or sub optimal. Something that made a difference was having a health scare in June which clarified what is important to me.
  • queenmedusa
    queenmedusa Posts: 247 Member
    edited October 2014
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    If you look at the photo in my signature... that's the photo that made me know things needed to change. I'm far from perfect 7yrs later and I fluctuate about +/- 7lbs through a year. Really all you need to know is that you don't want to be your worst you, the unhealthy you that you don't love. You want to be your best you, taking care of yourself and giving yourself a good life. I see a lot of people on here who kick their own *kitten* every day of the week but long term I know that's not sustainable for me. I have just found a level where being healthy "enough" is a lifestyle that I can maintain.

    413089.png
  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
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    lorib642 wrote: »
    I notice that many of the people who have been here for awhile and have been successful have developed a pretty healthy (for lack of a better word) lifestyle. It is a whole mindset. I don't know how to explain this well. I just know that I don't feel that way, never have. I don't think I would have got fat so easily if I did. Is it something that changes in you or were you always determined/focused?
    I try to engage activity that matches my passion while I address 2 areas that make up my health and fitness program.
    1. Food Intake - I eat clean as defined by lean meats, fresh fruits and veggies, nuts, whole grains, beans and raw dairy. I try not to eat processed foods.
    2. Exercise - both cardio and strength...and again, I try to do stuff I enjoy like biking, swimming, calithenics, hiking and MMA

    It's about having and loving an active lifestyle.
  • StephMDtoo
    StephMDtoo Posts: 37 Member
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    It really is baby steps. I made a list of the habits I picked up that led me to the weight I am and just took them one at a time. First, I stopped having caffeine after lunch so I could sleep better. Then I stopped eating in the car. Then I stopped eating after 6 at night. Now I'm cutting out soda, even diet soda. This has been about one habit per month, because it can take a while. But when you start feeling better you won't want to go back!
  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
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    There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    edited October 2014
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    One of the biggest myths out there is that you need motivation, focus, determination, etc...that's a bunch of BS. People who are ultimately successful long term make healthful habits. Motivation is a fleeting thing...habits die hard (good or bad).

    Healthful habits aren't created overnight...that's the another mistake people make...they want to just do a complete 180 overnight...flip a switch and they're superman or superwoman...doesn't work that way. Developing healthful habits is a process...that process often requires baby steps to get to where you want to go...nothing is going to happen overnight.

    I would also add that as a matter of mindset, in my experience, it has to be about more than just some number on the scale. It really has to be about our overall health and well being on just about every level. People get so obsessed about some arbitrary number that they completely forget about actually being healthy (physically, spiritually, and mentally) and fit. Being at a healthy weight is just a bi-product of good livin', not really the purpose (or main purpose) of it.

    I'm two years into my little good livin' safari...I've come a long way...and I have a long way to go. There is no timeline...there is no, "I have to be such and such weight or be able to do such and such by such and such a date." I just try to be a little better today than I was yesterday. This will carry on into perpetuity...you are never done...there truly is no finish line...the betterment of one's self is a life long endeavor.
  • flatlndr
    flatlndr Posts: 713 Member
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    For me, it was all about "the why" ... "why" do I want to lose weight and get fit? For years, I knew I should, but knowledge didn't give me incentive. Then, as predicted by a doctor 15 years earlier ("if you don't drop this weight, in your late 40s or early 50s, you're going to have knee problems"), I started having knee troubles. As the orthopaedic put it "lose 40 lbs, or lose the knee. your choice". That was enough for me ... dropped over 100, and the knee is (mostly) fine now. That knee will be like a permanent voice in my head, steering me away from the couch and the cookies, and towards the gym and the fresh veggies.
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    edited October 2014
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    seltzermint wrote: »
    What are you struggling with specifically, OP? Is it the food part, the exercise part, or other things like emotional, stress, etc?

    As far as dieting I guess it is more the exercise part. I don't have a lot of wiggle room with my calories and it would help if I would burn some more. I am getting there.

    But, that isn't really what I mean. It is more of an attitude: optimistic, confident. I know you can be anyone over the keyboard, but I know people like that, irl.

    I s
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    One of the biggest myths out there is that you need motivation, focus, determination, etc...that's a bunch of BS. People who are ultimately successful long term make healthful habits. Motivation is a fleeting thing...habits die hard (good or bad).

    Healthful habits aren't created overnight...that's the another mistake people make...they want to just do a complete 180 overnight...flip a switch and they're superman or superwoman...doesn't work that way. Developing healthful habits is a process...that process often requires baby steps to get to where you want to go...nothing is going to happen overnight.

    I would also add that as a matter of mindset, in my experience, it has to be about more than just some number on the scale. It really has to be about our overall health and well being on just about every level. People get so obsessed about some arbitrary number that they completely forget about actually being healthy (physically, spiritually, and mentally) and fit. Being at a healthy weight is just a bi-product of good livin', not really the purpose (or main purpose) of it.

    I'm two years into my little good livin' safari...I've come a long way...and I have a long way to go. There is no timeline...there is no, "I have to be such and such weight or be able to do such and such by such and such a date." I just try to be a little better today than I was yesterday. This will carry on into perpetuity...you are never done...there truly is no finish line...the betterment of one's self is a life long endeavor.

    That may have been what I was thinking of. Like when did healthful habits become a priority? But, I guess you develop them over time.

    I just spent a lot of time watching life go by, not sure how to engage in life
  • rpsg0534
    rpsg0534 Posts: 17
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    StrawberryJam40 wrote: »
    There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.

    This. And the ability to say to myself that it is okay if I am not perfect. It isn't all about this mistake. It is about the successes however small they may be that add up to success.

  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
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    I think it has a lot to do with time.

    If you lose weight slowly, you develop that mindset because you see the changes in your life that are sustainable and the ones that aren't.

    The people who tend to develop that mindset find balance; they understand that they can eat a piece of cake at their mother's birthday or pizza at a friend's house on a friday night. They recognize the important of just getting up and moving, even if that's not traditional exercise. And they make a commitment to themselves that isn't short term; it's not I'm going to do this for 6 months, it's I'm going to do this for the rest of my life.

    And this is the really key part: they've hit a point in their life where this is a commitment they actually want to make. It happens when you're ready and that's why a lot of people feel like they "just don't have it"; I'd say they just don't have it yet.
  • ZBuffBod
    ZBuffBod Posts: 297 Member
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    StrawberryJam40 wrote: »
    There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.

    THIS sums it up!
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
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    Like others have said, the biggest motivator is when you start losing weight.
    Have patience. Accept a bad day (calories) and just start again the next day. Set mini goals for yourself. Meeting those helps keep you going.

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