When/How does it happen (mindset)
lorib642
Posts: 1,942 Member
I notice that many of the people who have been here for awhile and have been successful have developed a pretty healthy (for lack of a better word) lifestyle. It is a whole mindset. I don't know how to explain this well. I just know that I don't feel that way, never have. I don't think I would have got fat so easily if I did. Is it something that changes in you or were you always determined/focused?
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First you start with some kind of activity you enjoy, with a slight food deficit...when you lose weight at a point where you have to go clothes shopping, or are able to play with your kids, grandkids or neices/nephews without running out of breathe...it will start to motivate you that "yah....living an active / healthy life is more fun. It starts with small steps....then you get on a roll. You'll feel better, and more confident, walk taller, etc....
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thank you 0
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for me the mindset and ultimate goal is to take better care of myself. at 255 lbs i clearly was not taking care of myself emotionally, physically, etc. and don't fool yourself that you are taking good quality care of anyone else either. you can't give what you don't have.
once i got better at making choices that best served me losing the weight was just a by product of that. I've since dropped 50lbs since figuring out that little puzzle piece. and happier as well!
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I have no idea how to use this site for communicating.. but it's a good site.0
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thanks
I like the site, too0 -
I recently read a book called "Stop Whining, Start Living". It really put into perspective for me that I need to stop complaining about everything that gets in my way and just work towards my goals! I starting preplanning my meals, workouts, etc and now I feel really motivated to do more. It's almost like I took on a "fake it until you make it" mentality until it finally clicked!
Feel free to add me for motivation and support!!0 -
Walking with a partner seems to be effective for me. If I get out walking in the morning, the whole day's diet seems to fall right in line healthily.0
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What are you struggling with specifically, OP? Is it the food part, the exercise part, or other things like emotional, stress, etc?0
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I don't think a healthy mindset is something you either have or don't have, obviously you do care about health and weight since you are here and active here.
For me some things that are helping in developing a healthier lifestyle are patience with myself, letting go of self-judgement, finding the physical activity that I love (which is dance), and just committing to being aware of what I do, be it optimal or sub optimal. Something that made a difference was having a health scare in June which clarified what is important to me.0 -
If you look at the photo in my signature... that's the photo that made me know things needed to change. I'm far from perfect 7yrs later and I fluctuate about +/- 7lbs through a year. Really all you need to know is that you don't want to be your worst you, the unhealthy you that you don't love. You want to be your best you, taking care of yourself and giving yourself a good life. I see a lot of people on here who kick their own *kitten* every day of the week but long term I know that's not sustainable for me. I have just found a level where being healthy "enough" is a lifestyle that I can maintain.
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I try to engage activity that matches my passion while I address 2 areas that make up my health and fitness program.I notice that many of the people who have been here for awhile and have been successful have developed a pretty healthy (for lack of a better word) lifestyle. It is a whole mindset. I don't know how to explain this well. I just know that I don't feel that way, never have. I don't think I would have got fat so easily if I did. Is it something that changes in you or were you always determined/focused?
1. Food Intake - I eat clean as defined by lean meats, fresh fruits and veggies, nuts, whole grains, beans and raw dairy. I try not to eat processed foods.
2. Exercise - both cardio and strength...and again, I try to do stuff I enjoy like biking, swimming, calithenics, hiking and MMA
It's about having and loving an active lifestyle.
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It really is baby steps. I made a list of the habits I picked up that led me to the weight I am and just took them one at a time. First, I stopped having caffeine after lunch so I could sleep better. Then I stopped eating in the car. Then I stopped eating after 6 at night. Now I'm cutting out soda, even diet soda. This has been about one habit per month, because it can take a while. But when you start feeling better you won't want to go back!0
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There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.0
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One of the biggest myths out there is that you need motivation, focus, determination, etc...that's a bunch of BS. People who are ultimately successful long term make healthful habits. Motivation is a fleeting thing...habits die hard (good or bad).
Healthful habits aren't created overnight...that's the another mistake people make...they want to just do a complete 180 overnight...flip a switch and they're superman or superwoman...doesn't work that way. Developing healthful habits is a process...that process often requires baby steps to get to where you want to go...nothing is going to happen overnight.
I would also add that as a matter of mindset, in my experience, it has to be about more than just some number on the scale. It really has to be about our overall health and well being on just about every level. People get so obsessed about some arbitrary number that they completely forget about actually being healthy (physically, spiritually, and mentally) and fit. Being at a healthy weight is just a bi-product of good livin', not really the purpose (or main purpose) of it.
I'm two years into my little good livin' safari...I've come a long way...and I have a long way to go. There is no timeline...there is no, "I have to be such and such weight or be able to do such and such by such and such a date." I just try to be a little better today than I was yesterday. This will carry on into perpetuity...you are never done...there truly is no finish line...the betterment of one's self is a life long endeavor.0 -
For me, it was all about "the why" ... "why" do I want to lose weight and get fit? For years, I knew I should, but knowledge didn't give me incentive. Then, as predicted by a doctor 15 years earlier ("if you don't drop this weight, in your late 40s or early 50s, you're going to have knee problems"), I started having knee troubles. As the orthopaedic put it "lose 40 lbs, or lose the knee. your choice". That was enough for me ... dropped over 100, and the knee is (mostly) fine now. That knee will be like a permanent voice in my head, steering me away from the couch and the cookies, and towards the gym and the fresh veggies.0
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seltzermint wrote: »What are you struggling with specifically, OP? Is it the food part, the exercise part, or other things like emotional, stress, etc?
As far as dieting I guess it is more the exercise part. I don't have a lot of wiggle room with my calories and it would help if I would burn some more. I am getting there.
But, that isn't really what I mean. It is more of an attitude: optimistic, confident. I know you can be anyone over the keyboard, but I know people like that, irl.
I scwolfman13 wrote: »One of the biggest myths out there is that you need motivation, focus, determination, etc...that's a bunch of BS. People who are ultimately successful long term make healthful habits. Motivation is a fleeting thing...habits die hard (good or bad).
Healthful habits aren't created overnight...that's the another mistake people make...they want to just do a complete 180 overnight...flip a switch and they're superman or superwoman...doesn't work that way. Developing healthful habits is a process...that process often requires baby steps to get to where you want to go...nothing is going to happen overnight.
I would also add that as a matter of mindset, in my experience, it has to be about more than just some number on the scale. It really has to be about our overall health and well being on just about every level. People get so obsessed about some arbitrary number that they completely forget about actually being healthy (physically, spiritually, and mentally) and fit. Being at a healthy weight is just a bi-product of good livin', not really the purpose (or main purpose) of it.
I'm two years into my little good livin' safari...I've come a long way...and I have a long way to go. There is no timeline...there is no, "I have to be such and such weight or be able to do such and such by such and such a date." I just try to be a little better today than I was yesterday. This will carry on into perpetuity...you are never done...there truly is no finish line...the betterment of one's self is a life long endeavor.
That may have been what I was thinking of. Like when did healthful habits become a priority? But, I guess you develop them over time.
I just spent a lot of time watching life go by, not sure how to engage in life
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StrawberryJam40 wrote: »There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.
This. And the ability to say to myself that it is okay if I am not perfect. It isn't all about this mistake. It is about the successes however small they may be that add up to success.
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I think it has a lot to do with time.
If you lose weight slowly, you develop that mindset because you see the changes in your life that are sustainable and the ones that aren't.
The people who tend to develop that mindset find balance; they understand that they can eat a piece of cake at their mother's birthday or pizza at a friend's house on a friday night. They recognize the important of just getting up and moving, even if that's not traditional exercise. And they make a commitment to themselves that isn't short term; it's not I'm going to do this for 6 months, it's I'm going to do this for the rest of my life.
And this is the really key part: they've hit a point in their life where this is a commitment they actually want to make. It happens when you're ready and that's why a lot of people feel like they "just don't have it"; I'd say they just don't have it yet.0 -
StrawberryJam40 wrote: »There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.
THIS sums it up!0 -
Like others have said, the biggest motivator is when you start losing weight.
Have patience. Accept a bad day (calories) and just start again the next day. Set mini goals for yourself. Meeting those helps keep you going.0 -
I notice that many of the people who have been here for awhile and have been successful have developed a pretty healthy (for lack of a better word) lifestyle. It is a whole mindset. I don't know how to explain this well. I just know that I don't feel that way, never have. I don't think I would have got fat so easily if I did. Is it something that changes in you or were you always determined/focused?
For me it was when I stepped on a scale for the first time in several years and saw the number. I was horrified. Three and half pounds away from 300 pounds.
I immediately had a image in my head of what my life was headed for if I didn't make a HUGE change and quickly. I saw a motorized cart, an oxygen tank and me, not being able to actively enjoy life for a long time.
It isn't hard to let yourself go. For some it's an illness or an injury. For others it may be depression or eating disorder. All I know is that that day I decided I was much too young to feel so old and in so much pain and that there really was only one way to change things.
I had to make healthier choices. So I did. And I will continue to do so for every day I have left on this earth.
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seltzermint wrote: »What are you struggling with specifically, OP? Is it the food part, the exercise part, or other things like emotional, stress, etc?
As far as dieting I guess it is more the exercise part. I don't have a lot of wiggle room with my calories and it would help if I would burn some more. I am getting there.
But, that isn't really what I mean. It is more of an attitude: optimistic, confident. I know you can be anyone over the keyboard, but I know people like that, irl.
I scwolfman13 wrote: »One of the biggest myths out there is that you need motivation, focus, determination, etc...that's a bunch of BS. People who are ultimately successful long term make healthful habits. Motivation is a fleeting thing...habits die hard (good or bad).
Healthful habits aren't created overnight...that's the another mistake people make...they want to just do a complete 180 overnight...flip a switch and they're superman or superwoman...doesn't work that way. Developing healthful habits is a process...that process often requires baby steps to get to where you want to go...nothing is going to happen overnight.
I would also add that as a matter of mindset, in my experience, it has to be about more than just some number on the scale. It really has to be about our overall health and well being on just about every level. People get so obsessed about some arbitrary number that they completely forget about actually being healthy (physically, spiritually, and mentally) and fit. Being at a healthy weight is just a bi-product of good livin', not really the purpose (or main purpose) of it.
I'm two years into my little good livin' safari...I've come a long way...and I have a long way to go. There is no timeline...there is no, "I have to be such and such weight or be able to do such and such by such and such a date." I just try to be a little better today than I was yesterday. This will carry on into perpetuity...you are never done...there truly is no finish line...the betterment of one's self is a life long endeavor.
That may have been what I was thinking of. Like when did healthful habits become a priority? But, I guess you develop them over time.
I just spent a lot of time watching life go by, not sure how to engage in life
I just did little things every day...I didn't make any drastic changes. I went from basically being a couch potato to making myself get up and go for a walk a few times per week...they were short at first...then I made them longer...then I decided I would go on more days...then I decided I would start to run a little...and I ran for some time pretty regularly and then I decided I really hated running...then I found my passion for my bike. This all over the course of about two years time...
You aren't going to always be motivated to do X, Y, or Z...just like with other things in your life. I'm rarely if ever motivated to do my laundry...but it needs doing, so I do it. I can tell you right now I'm in no mood for the gym and hitting the weight room tonight...I've had a rough week and it's only Tuesday...but Tuesday night is gym night...so I will go to the gym and I lift and when I get done I will be glad I did. Maybe I'll look more forward to Thursday nights session...maybe I won't...but regardless, my *kitten* will be in the squat rack by 5:45 PM on Thursday evening just like it is pretty much every Thursday evening unless I'm sick or caught up in something at work.
You also have to realize you're never going to be perfect...you're going to have good days, and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks...hell, August frackin' sucked for me...I generally ate pretty poorly, was inconsistent in my workouts, and just generally fatigued and under a lot of stress. But guess what? The month of August 2014 is pretty much irrelevant to the last two years and the 40+ years I hopefully have in front of me...no biggie. Get up and move on...
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cwolfman13 wrote: »
I just did little things every day...I didn't make any drastic changes. I went from basically being a couch potato to making myself get up and go for a walk a few times per week...they were short at first...then I made them longer...then I decided I would go on more days...then I decided I would start to run a little...and I ran for some time pretty regularly and then I decided I really hated running...then I found my passion for my bike. This all over the course of about two years time...
You aren't going to always be motivated to do X, Y, or Z...just like with other things in your life. I'm rarely if ever motivated to do my laundry...but it needs doing, so I do it. I can tell you right now I'm in no mood for the gym and hitting the weight room tonight...I've had a rough week and it's only Tuesday...but Tuesday night is gym night...so I will go to the gym and I lift and when I get done I will be glad I did. Maybe I'll look more forward to Thursday nights session...maybe I won't...but regardless, my *kitten* will be in the squat rack by 5:45 PM on Thursday evening just like it is pretty much every Thursday evening unless I'm sick or caught up in something at work.
You also have to realize you're never going to be perfect...you're going to have good days, and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks...hell, August frackin' sucked for me...I generally ate pretty poorly, was inconsistent in my workouts, and just generally fatigued and under a lot of stress. But guess what? The month of August 2014 is pretty much irrelevant to the last two years and the 40+ years I hopefully have in front of me...no biggie. Get up and move on...
This is absolutely true for me, too. Lots of little new habits that accumulated slowly over time. I love the laundry analogy, and your comments about perfection are spot-on. I've "failed" a million times in the last 3.5 years. 0 -
It is a whole mindset.
I took one step, a small one, quit sugary sodas (diet or regular). That led to quitting alcohol. Neither one did anything for me and realized the less I had them the less I craved them. Then, avoided processed foods (I went back and forth on that one, I've landed in a middle ground where I check all labels compulsively). And then another step and another. I've been at it a year, BABY STEPS all along the way, but I've found all of my decisions sustainable and without feeling deprived I've lost 33 lbs in a year and a half, which may not seem like much, but I've lost inches everywhere my waist and hips are 5 inches slimmer each! The fact that I've kept it off it's the longest I've actually stuck to any real diet and fitness changes.
I think to myself "it took me 10 years to do it to myself, I can give myself a 2-3 years to undo the damage", as long as it's steady and SUSTAINABLE.
And when I feel discouraged, I go back and look at what I've accomplished... I measure out what 5 inches of waist actually is... I use pictures to compare...0 -
It is a whole mindset.
I took one step, a small one, quit sugary sodas (diet or regular). That led to quitting alcohol. Neither one did anything for me and realized the less I had them the less I craved them. Then, avoided processed foods (I went back and forth on that one, I've landed in a middle ground where I check all labels compulsively). And then another step and another. I've been at it a year, BABY STEPS all along the way, but I've found all of my decisions sustainable and without feeling deprived I've lost 33 lbs in a year and a half, which may not seem like much, but I've lost inches everywhere my waist and hips are 5 inches slimmer each! The fact that I've kept it off it's the longest I've actually stuck to any real diet and fitness changes.
I think to myself "it took me 10 years to do it to myself, I can give myself a 2-3 years to undo the damage", as long as it's steady and SUSTAINABLE.
And when I feel discouraged, I go back and look at what I've accomplished... I measure out what 5 inches of waist actually is... I use pictures to compare...
^^^ Yes!
I had a similar progression of cutting back on sodas, alcohol and processed foods, along with compulsive label reading. And when I need encouragement about that last inch to go, I look at my belt ... down 8 inches.
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I think it's different for everyone ... you may want to check out this thread of long-term maintainers & their 'AH-HA' moments & maybe it will inspire you to find yours. community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10005498/your-ah-ha-moment/p1
I think OP is right on the money in regards that mindset often times seems to be the tipping point to maintaining that success vs. regain. To start figuring out how to change your mindset, I'd suggest to do some soul searching & be 100% honest with yourself as to the why behind what you are currently doing. Ya know?
Best of luck to you.0 -
StrawberryJam40 wrote: »There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.
Well said!! You and I think a lot alike!! In the 2 1/2 years I have been on this journey to change my lifestyle one thing I have learned is to not deprive myself but in return I have learned if I indulge then I must make adjustments by increasing exercise or doing without something else the same day. If I really want the chocolate then I had better make sure to either run some more or to hit the step aerobics class. It really isn't rocket science but does require thought 0 -
RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »I think it's different for everyone ... you may want to check out this thread of long-term maintainers & their 'AH-HA' moments & maybe it will inspire you to find yours. community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10005498/your-ah-ha-moment/p1
I think OP is right on the money in regards that mindset often times seems to be the tipping point to maintaining that success vs. regain. To start figuring out how to change your mindset, I'd suggest to do some soul searching & be 100% honest with yourself as to the why behind what you are currently doing. Ya know?
Best of luck to you.
Thank you. I will check out that link 0
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