Gained the weight I told myself I'd never go back to....super depressed over it... :-/

I don't know why we are so much harder on ourselves than we are to others. I've done the whole yo-yo weight for years and it can be really depressing. Two big changes I've made this time around was 1) I found a love of exercising that I never had before. The last time I lost weight, I went to the gym because it was part of my weight loss program. After I got to where I wanted to be in weight, my motivation for exercising just kind of slipped away and I easily let it. This time, I tried a Zumba class, loved doing it, kept on doing it and found some other activities that I enjoy. I like getting sweaty and out of breath. 2) was harder. I told myself that I was NOT ALLOWED to say anything to myself that I wouldn't say to anyone else. I would never dream of calling anyone a fat ugly cow, therefore, I was not allowed to say it to myself. That takes practice; interrupting your thoughts and stopping them. I've had to learn to be kinder to myself, allow myself to make mistakes because that is a chance to learn. I think that is always going to be something I will have to work on, but I do feel as if I'm finally heading in the right direction.

Your commitment is there. You know what you have to do!

Realize how strong you are and that you, alone, have total control over what goes in your mouth and exercise. Don't let negative thoughts creep in. The past is the past. Just live in the present and think about the future and how things (health, depression, self esteem, etc.) will be better in the future. I lost 40lbs 4 years ago (from 190 to 150) and looked great. Got a little happy with myself and weight started creeping up. Then I broke my ankle and gained more weight than I ever dreamed was possible. 37 days ago I failed at a charity bike ride because I was so out of shape. That had never happened to me before. I finally weighed myself (after two years) and I weighed 240! I was mortified. I immediately threw all the crap outta my fridge, got on MFP, dusted off my home gym equipment and set up my eating plan. I work out 5 days a week (cardio and weights). I have lost 20lbs in only 35 days. I have no doubt that I will reach my ultimate goal (140lbs, hehehe). Food tastes good then immediately makes you feel like crap. I will not allow myself to fail. No one can mess this up except me and I am not going to mess up. Of course, once I reach my goal I want to learn how to stay there. But I will because this journey will be long and hard. I've tried food and I've tried lean. Lean tastes better and I feel better about myself. I love working out so that's never been an issue. Take the advice of other posters and find something you enjoy. And realize that nutrition (and caloric intake) is at least 80% of the battle.

You can do it. Dust off and stop beating up on yourself. You can accomplish this and you will be so proud of yourself that you did this. Good luck.