Transplant surgery

I am donating a kidney to my husband of 20 yrs. Last year my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer and my husband needed emergency hemodialysis. I gained 20 lbs putting my weight to 209 lbs. We have been waiting for a year now waiting for my husband to be cleared which he finally was but We recently got a call from the transplant team telling me I needed to lose weight before we do the transplant. Now the surgery was again put on hold. I do not have any medical conditions ( hypertension or diabetes). We are very upset over this. I feel they are saying that people who are overweight are unhealthy. This is not true. My dad who has had 5 open heart surgeries, cancer, high blood pressure is thin. What am I missing.

Replies

  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
    I don't know but they are the experts so you better do it ASAP. Maybe to get rid of the fatty deposits or to make sure your heart isn't overloaded, to make sure you can survive the surgery. Ask the doctor! And please, instead of complaining - lose the weight.
  • runningforthetrain
    runningforthetrain Posts: 1,037 Member
    Sorry to hear about this upcoming surgery. Very stressful -- I hope everything goes well. I know what you mean about the "fat discrimination." I am not really sure why this happens but, perhaps it is because of stats- maybe more people with your weight stats have higher risks of x,y,z. I would ask the surgeon what the reasoning is- I would guess that it is because of general risk factors and not risks related to you personally as an individual.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/06/transplant-centers-struggle-with-donors-obesity/
    "Add one more unexpected consequence of Americans’ expanding waistlines: A growing number of potential organ donors are ineligible to donate because of their weight.

    “It’s an ongoing struggle that I think every transplant center has to deal with,” said Dr. Sandra Taler, a nephrologist at the Mayo Clinic who studies the health of living transplant donors. Rising obesity has spurred a small but growing effort to pay closer attention to the health of obese donors, whose risks are still incompletely understood.

    There is no binding donor weight limit, but a little more than half of transplant centers cap donor body mass index at 35. About 10 percent don’t allow donors with B.M.I.’s over 30, generally considered the cutoff for obesity, while the rest allow some heavier people to donate."
  • cp692
    cp692 Posts: 3
    I am not complaining, just venting. I thought this was motivation and support. I was looking for encouragement to help me in this difficult time. I am working very hard to lose the weight so I can give my husband a second chance at a normal life.
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    I am sure that is extremely stressful. The policy does sound unfair. I hope everything goes well.

    How much do they want you to lose before the surgery? Can you get anyone to help you with the weight loss, like a dietician or doctor?
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    ^^ This, if you have access to doctors as talented as a transplant team, maybe you can take advantage and get some weight loss support from them?

    You can do this, I mean what better motivation than the life of the man you love? You just need to put your head down and slog through this part, and keep your focus on how great the future will be after you get through it! Just one step at a time.

    You're a great partner for him.
  • runningforthetrain
    runningforthetrain Posts: 1,037 Member
    I thought the complaining comment was mean too. (Although you never know with online- probably wasn't intentional) Sorry this happened when you are looking for support. Remember what an incredibly loving person you are to be giving up your kidney. Rooting for you both to come out stronger and better than ever!
  • cp692
    cp692 Posts: 3
    They didn't give me a number, they just told me that they wanted me to lose on a consistent basis. I am working very hard to lose. I watch everything I eat.
  • Wronkletoad
    Wronkletoad Posts: 368 Member
    you can certainly get support - but please examine your initial statement, " I do not have any medical conditions ( hypertension or diabetes). [...]. I feel they are saying that people who are overweight are unhealthy.""

    That is most certainly not what they're saying. At higher risk for certain conditions, absolutely.

    There are other considerations for being overweight/obese besides those two conditions you mention. Tolerability of surgery. Ability to recover. QoL post recovery. There are lots of conditions that are at increased risk when the person is overweight/obese and out of shape. There is also the mental side - are you able to adhere to instructions? You're the closest one to the recipient - are you able to adhere to support him with his adherence. It's a challenging path.

    I'm saying this as a liver recpient (uncommon genetic condition) who can't thank his donor. You're bestowing an awesome gift, but it's just the part of it. The other part is that you can now bestow healhty lives to each other. It's hard work, but it's worth it.

    Think about it: you're able to give an awesome gift of life. He'll be at higher risk of a myriad of metabolic / CV complications afterwards. Keep the gift active through positive exercise and healthful choices thereafter.

    Talk to their dieticians. Get science-based advice. If it's not science based, reject it.

    And just do it! Having the opportunity to do this is amazing. Just apply that same amazing to diet and exercise, and you've got it made! so cool!
  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,965 Member
    I understand general anaesthesia statistically carries higher risk for overweight subjects. Good luck getting approved for the surgery.
  • Trishism
    Trishism Posts: 79 Member
    edited October 2014
    That's so unfortunate because you've been waiting so long for your husband to be cleared for the surgery and probably are just wanting to get this done. If I were in your situation I would certainly be upset as well, but try not to take it personally. They have those guidelines in place to make sure everyone involved is in best possible shape for the transplant. Of course everyone deals with a bit of extra weight differently, but being a good weight helps for recovery and decreases the risk of kidney disease, and they want to make sure you, your husband, and the kidney you'll be sharing are all as ideal as possible for the transplant.

    Editing because I'm stupid and forgot to say that what you are doing is amazing. I work in dialysis and I see the struggles and how life changing a transplant can be, and the fact that you're a match and are able to give him yours is no less amazing. Thank you for being so courageous and kind.
  • almc170
    almc170 Posts: 1,093 Member
    edited October 2014
    Hey, I'm also preparing to donate a kidney to my husband. The transplant surgeon explained to me that this is one of the more stressful surgeries he performs, because he's essentially putting a healthy person at risk. The weight recommendation is to minimize risk to your own health as much as possible, as well as to help ensure a smooth recovery.

    ETA: Feel free to add me. I know how nerve-racking this whole process can be.