PICS!! 40 lbs down! (almost halfway to goal!)

No joke! True story!! Not only am I celebrating my birthday today, but I am celebrating hitting the 40 # mark!! Wahoo! almost halfway there!!

My story is that pretty much my whole life, I have been heavy. I have pretty much always had a problem with food. I can't remember a time in my life when I was thin. My dad split when I was 8 or 9, and ever since then I started eating more, and gaining weight. Me, my brother and my sister used to sneak food all the time. We would bring ice cream and PB & Jelly, chips, etc... up in our rooms and just eat and eat and eat...apparently, that is how we dealt with our problems...It was very stressful living with my family back then (the same family that I live with now-grandparents, two uncles, mother). I won't get into half the issues going on in the house, but as kids, we all had anxiety about going home after school, and were nervous just being in the house on a daily basis (mostly afraid of the men in the house, who all had HORRIBLE tempers). My mom and others would comment on how me and my siblings needed to lose weight, which is very hard to hear as a kid. I think it made me eat more...not that I am here blaming anyone else but MYSELF. I did this all to myself...although, my mom did blame my grandparents at one point for our being overweight, because my grandparents used to let us have ice cream every nite after dinner...or some other sweet...I am ashamed to admit that when I was 17/18 and started working retail, I was so depressed that I would LITERALLY eat two meals for dinner, and it would be fast food. I would go through the drive through at Burger King, and then some other place...and eat them BOTH. I would feel sick afterwards, but I just kept doing it. Don't really have an explanation for why I did it...my memory is horrible, so I can't really think back that far...

I want to say the first time that I really tried to lose weight was my junior year of college...I have tried WW a few times before, and it worked for the meantime. At one point I lost 40 something pounds...which I think at that point I was about the same that I weigh now...but that didn't last. It all creeped on back...Each time I tried losing weight, I think for some reason I thought eating junk here and there wouldn't hurt me...until it became more and more of a habit...About 4 years ago, I joined Planet Fitness, and at first I was all about it, but after a while, I would get run down, get sick, and then get anxious about going back (gyms have many germs)...so the whole gym situation was an on and off relationship...

Why is this time different? I decided after I got engaged that I HAD to do something...I didn't feel well, I was tired a lot (still am here and there), no energy, I was eating out a lot, eating dessert often, just a whole mess...I wanted to be HEALTHIER...even if I didn't lose a TON of weight...I wanted to be able to ride bikes with my fiance, and not feel like my heart is going to pop out of my chest after 3 miles at a moderate pace...I wanted to someday be able to run (for a reason other than something or someone chasing me)...Also, there was a medical reason that kind of got me to commit to living a healthier life...I won't get into that...

Anyways, I started on MFP on 11/30/10...I had started the whole eating better & exercising bit about a month prior to MFP, and lost 10 lbs...so my total weight loss is more like 50-53 lbs...YAY! I still don't notice it like other people do...I am pretty much wearing the same clothes too...I was hoping to not be able to fit into my clothes (which, they are loose on me, but not loose enough to where I feel baggy saggy and need to buy new threads). I am about 60 lbs from my highest weight ever (which I am not prepared to say my actual weight at this point)...oh, screw it...my highest weight was about 286...my current weight is 223.6 (starting weight on MFP was 263.8)...my doctor always told me I carry my weight well, but I never felt that I did!!

So, at this point, I am about halfway to my goal...I have worked SOOOOOO hard...YES, I have made mistakes here and there (eating the wrong things, etc.)...but I am human, we all make mistakes, RIGHT?!?! It is all about picking yourself back up and jumping back on that wagon...So, don't beat yourself up for making mistakes here and there, SH** happens!

I am thankful for the workouts that have helped me along in this journey: Zumba, Walk Away the Pounds, Sweatin to the Oldies, various walks, the arc trainer and elliptical @ the gym, weight machines @ the gym...oh and the treadmill. All great tools.

Here are some pics, I apologize for not using paint to do a side by side comparison, but apparently, I SUCK at Paint...It just wouldn't work for me...

These are a few older pics of me (some are very unflattering ones at that):

(below is from 2006)



(below is from February 2010)



(below is from Easter 2010)



(below-this one was from October 2010 when we had our engagement photos done-I think this one really made me say WOW, I need to do something and QUICK!)



Ok, now onto the pics from today, 4/29/10 (which also happens to be my 29th birthday!):







Thank you for reading my story... Everyone keep up the amazing work!!!