Binge...

IAteNailsForBreakfast
IAteNailsForBreakfast Posts: 7 Member
edited November 2014 in Health and Weight Loss
I do well until the night. Going up to Atleast 1800
Ussaly 2200+ for whole day
+ Today Atleast 3300(so many raw alminds, and candy)
i hate it
If this keeps going on I fear unhealthy habits will come back up :(
I don't want that.
It was hard enough to break my forming purging addiction around June.
Which eventually made me binge
And force to keep it down
No, no
I've gained Atleast 15 over the summer (139 5'3)
And I don't want that. I've lost 4 healthy and then the bingeing came back.
I was so happy
To feel good and have the numbers go down.
*kitten* any advise. I just want full recovery

I feel so out of control. I want to be in control

Replies

  • IAteNailsForBreakfast
    IAteNailsForBreakfast Posts: 7 Member
    Please note I in no way which so ever endorse eating didorser habits
    They made my life sucky
    In a span of only 6 months.
    And now the after effects
    I regret my decision to refuse help when my mom cuaght me.
    If you need help get it
  • IAteNailsForBreakfast
    IAteNailsForBreakfast Posts: 7 Member
    Well no one reply so in going to rant to get my feelings out.
    Why can't I control myself?
    Why?
    It's not fair
    I hate my body
    I feel eyes Judgeing me when I eat sometimes
    I am not diagnosisivly sick enough anynore to get help, I am to far along in recovery. I just want to be normal
    125 lbs and I'll be happy
    Only like 9 more (or 11 by new bingeing again)
    But I carry weight in my stomach, and my legs are naturally gappy
    . Meaning I have wide hips, which creates a horrible body image, almost everything I wear makes me boxy becuase I have sharp curves that are deep but small. Bit thin enough anymore to wear anything tight that can show off it.
    I wish I could be normal again.


  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
    To be fair, you have only posted a little while ago so you have to give the responses some time. Also, it seems that there are still unresolved issues that aren't generally something you would touch over an anonymous forum. I can clearly sense your frustration but I think you need to return to your treating doctor and discuss these things with him or her.

    I wish you the best as you continue to get well.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
    Maybe you can talk with your mom and let her know what has been going on.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    edited November 2014
    You did say, " **** any advice," so it's possible people chose not to give any because of that.

    I assume you have a therapist and can talk through this with them.

    Recovery is a process. Setbacks are to be expected. You should've been told that. It doesn't mean you won't recover. It's just a setback. You have goals, right? Just focus on those.

    You're doing fine. It will come with time. Don't worry.

    :)

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