Need a safe place to vent

Options
breezymom81
breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am having a rough day, usually I vent to my husband....but he is the one ticking me off today! He keeps making these little comments that are not sitting well with me....For example, I get up every morning at 5 am with him so that I can make his lunch for work, today he has the nerve to text me complaining that I didn't put in what he wanted for lunch. Never a hey thanks for making my lunch I appreciate it. Then, I always go grocery shopping on Friday nights, he calls me to tell me that HE has worked a long day so I shouldn't even think about leaving the kids at home with him, because he is tired. Instead I could go on my "Two days off" Yeah I have two young children, a house to take care of, run a daycare out of my house that takes up about 70 hrs a week. And a husband who does literally none of the house things. I normally don't mind this as I am very particular about how things get done. But is it too much to ask for a hey thanks, let me get the kids outta your hair for an hour. I know he has a physical job and it's exhausting but dammit I have a stressful job, and lots to do for the house and kids, a budget to balance ...I get NO days OFF EVER, not even overnight to sleep because I am a light sleeper and wake up to every little noise!

Whew, I usually eat when I have no place to vent to and I am not falling off the wagon!!
«1

Replies

  • Terri73
    Terri73 Posts: 238
    Options
    and breathe feel better now.???
    Its not just you my other half is on my last nerve too. Thinks i have a money tree growing outside. and thinks as i'm home all day apart from the 4 long walks i do to take the kids to school i have an easy life.

    Wish i had vented as i have binged the last two days and feel awful now so dont do it xxxx
  • Xaspar
    Xaspar Posts: 726 Member
    Options
    Glad you vented it out rather than stuffing it ... and possibly your face as well! ... :)
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    Options
    Oh how I feel your pain !!!!!!!!! I too never get a day off, when or if I need something done I may as well do it myself ! girl its ok to vent !! gotta release it somehow ! try to enjoy your weekend !
  • bmontgomery87
    bmontgomery87 Posts: 1,260 Member
    Options
    woman-get-back-in-the-kitchen-women-s-t-shirts_design.png


    i joke i joke.


    I'd make him pack his lunch for a week and see how he likes that. I've NEVER had a woman who packed my lunch in the mornings. He should consider himself lucky.
  • ronda_gettinghealthy
    ronda_gettinghealthy Posts: 777 Member
    Options
    we used to call in kvetching=== glad we could be your sounding board
  • lizabean89
    lizabean89 Posts: 33 Member
    Options
    Great idea to vent and get it out here instead of eating. That is my problem too and I am trying to learn to deal with whatever the problem is and not push it down with food. I hope your day has gotten better, it is very stressful being home with kids all the time. Take some deep breaths before he gets home. Maybe you just make it look so easy :wink: or he was having a hard day too. Either way, hopefully the evening will go better, don't let it derail you. :smile:
  • ladybug1009
    ladybug1009 Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    Tell him that he has a new responsibility. Making his own lunch. Why not try to communicate with him your thoughts, and tell him that you really need him to listen to your thoughts. And then see what his side is.

    Given, I've only been married for 6 months, and it is not perfect. When my husband tells me that he worked hard and that he is tired, does not mean that I don't work hard either. Your jobs are both different like mine and my husbands. We equally work hard, but we all have duties we have to share, yours and his are tending to your children and tell him that you really need time to yourself and that you deserve it.
  • lizabean89
    lizabean89 Posts: 33 Member
    Options
    woman-get-back-in-the-kitchen-women-s-t-shirts_design.png


    i joke i joke.


    I'd make him pack his lunch for a week and see how he likes that. I've NEVER had a woman who packed my lunch in the mornings. He should consider himself lucky.


    Funny!! Sounds just like my dh!
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    Options
    I am glad that you vented to us instead of emotionally eating. I have had the same problem in the past with my husband; he didn't appreciate anything I did until I stopped doing them. I refused to pack him lunch, make him dinner, etc. He had to start doing things on his own, and then he realized how much work it took. I hope things get better for you. Maybe, you can go burn some energy away; I know I do that.
  • bluerose84
    bluerose84 Posts: 8
    Options
    hey, sorry to hear about your rough day but men usually just dont get it. A simple thank you for all the things you do to make their life easier go unappreciated, maybe you should stop doing the little extras for him like getting up at 5am and making him lunch a couple days of that and maybe he will be a little more understanding. As for your self you should try and get a babysitter for the kids for a couple hours if and go out spend a little time byyourself or with friends. Go get a pedicure instead of eating and i bet you will feel tons better. Good luck:wink:
  • whiskey9890
    whiskey9890 Posts: 652 Member
    Options
    i'm hearing that! my other half to be fair does have a fair commute to work so he is out of the house for 12 hours a day, whereas i can cycle to work in 20 minutes and my shift is only 7.5 hrs long, but i work longer weeks than him and i work shifts, but do i get a thank you when i make sure there are clean and ironed clothes for him to wear to work, do i hear one when i do all of the grocery shopping, all of the cooking (apart from the occasional sunday evening) i even spend my morning before i go to work in the afternoon making sure that there is a homecooked meal waiting for him when he gets home, has he mown the lawn this year, nope thats been my job, did he help with a deep clean of the house for when his friends came to visit no he went out to fly his model plane grrrrrrrr

    but he is a soppy so and so and i wouldn't change him for the world
  • ladybug1009
    ladybug1009 Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    woman-get-back-in-the-kitchen-women-s-t-shirts_design.png


    i joke i joke.


    I'd make him pack his lunch for a week and see how he likes that. I've NEVER had a woman who packed my lunch in the mornings. He should consider himself lucky.

    I was going to say that he is lucky that she makes his lunch. For I don't even make my husband's lunch. He's 30 and fully capable of doing it. If he wants what he likes, then he can pack it.
  • Flocker1979
    Flocker1979 Posts: 96
    Options
    woman-get-back-in-the-kitchen-women-s-t-shirts_design.png


    i joke i joke.


    I'd make him pack his lunch for a week and see how he likes that. I've NEVER had a woman who packed my lunch in the mornings. He should consider himself lucky.

    I would get up that early and pack my husband's lunch when we were first married, but he gently asked me to stop after the third time I was so tired he bit into his sandwich and the cheese in it was still wrapped in the plastic! :blushing: :laugh:
  • breezymom81
    breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
    Options

    i joke i joke.


    I'd make him pack his lunch for a week and see how he likes that. I've NEVER had a woman who packed my lunch in the mornings. He should consider himself lucky.

    Thanks, that's what I told him!!
  • jdg1mfp
    jdg1mfp Posts: 103
    Options
    Sounds like now you have vented with us you need to sit down and TALK (not yell) with him.
    The problem is once we start cycles and habits they become the norm and easily taken for granted.
    For example: Do you randomly go to him and say "Thank you for going to work Today".
    Also, let someone else wash the dishes or wash/fold clothes, I know they won't do it exactly right in your eyes but it will never happen if you don't give it a chance.

    Then again what do I know.....I'm one of those MEN
  • jennmoore3
    jennmoore3 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    You know, I bet there is something in the air. My husband is the same way. Just because he works all day he can come home and sit for a bit and do nothing. I work all day and come home, run the kids here and there, and do everything around the house. I never get a day off either. I wish men could see that we need time to ourselves as well. I always take the kids to the store with me. I wish I could just go pee without someone bothering me.
  • janetv3
    janetv3 Posts: 37 Member
    Options
    It's a safe place here....hope your day goes better....:flowerforyou:
  • lilsweetslol
    lilsweetslol Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    Good to vent. I do it here all the time instead of going to mcdonald and getting a caramel Frappe.. lol

    Us women have to pick and choose our battles. Is this going to matter a year from now, probably not or is it just pety b.s.. i yelled at my husband the other day because he throws his garbage in the kitchen sink instead of the damn garbage pale 4 feet away.
    or not cleaning the sink after he shaves. GROSSS.
    but.. he cooks when i dont want to, he cleans the kitchen when i didnt ask him to So i guess i shouldnt complain..

    I'd be funny about it and put a sandwhich in your husbands lunch with a note between 2 slices of bread that said " a little thanks goes a long ways" : )
    prepare for war when he gets home.. haha
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
    Options
    oh girl!!! u tooo??? omg my bf better PRAY i dont see him for a few days bc if i do... he will feel my wrath! its just like u say, the little things, the lil smart *kitten* comments. ugh. im just lucky im not married to mine. lol. i can up and leave whenever i want. hope ur day gets better. while im sad ur feeling this way, its refreshing to know its not just me, everyone seems to be having a day like that. and ur doing WAY better then me. i went to popeyes on lunch. while screaming at him on the phone of course. lol.
  • breezymom81
    breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
    Options
    Sounds like now you have vented with us you need to sit down and TALK (not yell) with him.
    The problem is once we start cycles and habits they become the norm and easily taken for granted.
    For example: Do you randomly go to him and say "Thank you for going to work Today".
    Also, let someone else wash the dishes or wash/fold clothes, I know they won't do it exactly right in your eyes but it will never happen if you don't give it a chance.

    Then again what do I know.....I'm one of those MEN

    I have and will talk to him...as always thats why I vented on here, I used to eat the emotions and then talk to him. He thinks that because I work from home all day I have all the time in the world to get things done. Don't get me wrong I love being a wife and mother and take care of my family because I enjoy it so very much. But sometimes, when I am running on 2 hours sleep and still getting it all done I would like a thank you. And yes I do say thanks for going to work, as a matter of fact because his job is hard on his back I make it a point to give him a rub once a week. I don't even want him to do anything more,just a thanks!!

Categories