Reaching Out-need support

amandaiams
amandaiams Posts: 73 Member
in Introduce Yourself
hello,

This is my second post and I've had 0 response. So I'm trying again.

I've been counting calories and drinking water for a few weeks now (I did splurge last night and had wine, a no no...tsk tsk) but over all, I've been doing loads better. I've been making most of my food at home (except for lunch today. I ate out. Another no no.) Most of the food I cook is "clean" (homemade soups, mostly. With kale, Chicken, and loads of veggies. Enough to eat for several days.)

However, I find I have 0 motivation to workout.

I know weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise but I feel like I need to start doing something. Everyday I go home and I just can't be bothered. Weekends are the same. I spend most of the time on the couch because I'm depressed. I'm depressed because my best friend and partner is deployed until March or April, I have 0 friends in my city and really no local support group or people to meet up with. I've thought about hiring a PT but at my gym (that I never go to) it is $240 upfront for a month and I can't swing that kind of cash. I was thinking that if I HAD to meet someone especially that I've paid I would be more likely to go. Or if I had a friend that would meet me in the mornings or evening, I would feel more obligated.

I really feel like I need a support group. I really need some motivation. I hate the way I feel mentally, physically and emotionally. I know I sound like I'm on my pity potty. Does anyone else feel this way, especially starting out? I'd appreciate advice.

Replies

  • jillmarie125
    jillmarie125 Posts: 418 Member
    Wine and take out are not bad. Did you log them correctly? If they fit, then its a win. If they dont fit in your ranges...make them fit for the next time.

    As far as losing weight being 80/20 split of diet and exercise. .. no, its not. Losing weight is 100% diet. Working out can help you burn more so you can eat more. But losing weight is eating less than you burn. SO maybe trying to find motivation to do both right now is too much for you. Work on your diet and hit your calorie range for a few days or weeks. Once you start feeling better add some exercise and see how you feel.
  • redwoodkestrel
    redwoodkestrel Posts: 339 Member
    Maybe try meetup.com? I know in my area there are a lot of meetups for walking/running/hiking etc. - a great way to meet people and exercise at the same time!
  • beanrider
    beanrider Posts: 66 Member
    Hi, I know how you feel. Living alone, no support network, it can get fairly easy to be a couch potato. What helps to motivate me is picking a race and sending in my entry. If I know I am to "compete" in X number of weeks, then I find it easier to take a daily walk and fit in a jog here and there. I am only really competing against myself, but it helps. Would a daily accountability partner help you? I have a friend that is trying to up her water intake, so I "nag" her every day to see where she is on her 100 ounce per day goal. I would certainly be willing to "nag" you on exercise, if it would help. Add me if you like.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
    Your diary is private so I can't really help you there.

    As for the exercise, you already know that the only way to lose weight reliably is with a caloric deficit. So I refer back to my first point.

    That being said, exercise does have benefits such as cardiovascular health. It would probably help with your depression too. If you do want to incorporate exercise, try making small goals which are easy to stick to. Starting out with a PT will probably overwhelm you quickly and you'll want to quit. What about starting to walk? 15 minutes for 3 times/ week this week, increasing by 5 mins per day each week? You would be getting exercise as well as getting outside in the fresh air. You may find that once you begin exercising, you will want to explore other activities because you feel great!

    Also, classes at community centres are usually reasonably priced and would be a great way to try things without feeling too committed. Yoga, bootcamp, Zumba, etc. There are many fun ways to get your body moving.

  • brookeskarda
    brookeskarda Posts: 5 Member
    Ditto above - sometimes we all need others to nag us! Any of you can add me as well, I'll "nag" you if you "nag" me!
  • rpsg0534
    rpsg0534 Posts: 17
    Maybe just get out and walk around the block, or park or wherever you are. Don't think that you are working out. Just get more movement in. That is how I started. Not even everyday in the beginning, but most weekdays I walked for ten minutes. I could only walk a half of a mile. I was out of breath. Now, 165 days later I have a fitness trainer and I just have been able to jog 2 miles at 3.6 mph for a solid 30 minutes. I absolutely love it! But if you would have told me that 165 days ago, I truly would not have believed it.
  • jeffreytsparks842
    jeffreytsparks842 Posts: 6 Member
    Hello,

    I'm no expert, but I think many areas have Partners of Troops support groups (both informal and formal). I wouldn't be surprised if a walking or workout buddy might be findable in a place like that.

    One group is http://military-spouses.meetup.com

    Hope this helps!
  • SlimEsq
    SlimEsq Posts: 45 Member
    First, I would cut yourself a little slack. It's tough to be in a place where you do not have any support. Obviously, you can get some here. Also, maybe a simple gym membership isn't going to work for you. I would keep trying things until you find something you get passionate about. For me, I take martial arts where there is a lot of camaraderie and mutual support. I took Bikram yoga in the past and found that supportive as well. Just take a chance for yourself and try something different that may motivate you. As for the dieting, there is plenty of support with MFP. Just cut yourself some slack when you go over your goals at first. Over time, you'll find your niche. Good luck!
  • amandaiams
    amandaiams Posts: 73 Member
    jillmarie125 wrote: »
    Wine and take out are not bad. Did you log them correctly? If they fit, then its a win. If they dont fit in your ranges...make them fit for the next time.

    As far as losing weight being 80/20 split of diet and exercise. .. no, its not. Losing weight is 100% diet. Working out can help you burn more so you can eat more. But losing weight is eating less than you burn. SO maybe trying to find motivation to do both right now is too much for you. Work on your diet and hit your calorie range for a few days or weeks. Once you start feeling better add some exercise and see how you feel.


    You're probably right. Maybe I'm trying to do too much at once. I just hate the way I feel. I'm at my heaviest (191, according to the doctor scale. 181 at home scale. I like my scale better...) and I told myself I'd lose weight before my husband came home. So far, no luck. So, I'm just gonna eat better and maybe start throwing out all of the crap food in the closet.
  • amandaiams
    amandaiams Posts: 73 Member
    jeffreytsparks842 wrote: »
    Hello,

    I'm no expert, but I think many areas have Partners of Troops support groups (both informal and formal). I wouldn't be surprised if a walking or workout buddy might be findable in a place like that.

    One group is http://military-spouses.meetup.com

    Hope this helps!

    Checked it out, none in my area. I saw one group for fitness but it doesn't seem like an active group. My husband actually suggested meetup.com as a way to meet people. I didn't think it'd be hard to meet people after getting married but it is. I guess because my husband is my best friend? lol I feel like I'm making excuses.
  • jillmarie125
    jillmarie125 Posts: 418 Member
    amandaiams wrote: »
    jillmarie125 wrote: »
    Wine and take out are not bad. Did you log them correctly? If they fit, then its a win. If they dont fit in your ranges...make them fit for the next time.

    As far as losing weight being 80/20 split of diet and exercise. .. no, its not. Losing weight is 100% diet. Working out can help you burn more so you can eat more. But losing weight is eating less than you burn. SO maybe trying to find motivation to do both right now is too much for you. Work on your diet and hit your calorie range for a few days or weeks. Once you start feeling better add some exercise and see how you feel.


    You're probably right. Maybe I'm trying to do too much at once. I just hate the way I feel. I'm at my heaviest (191, according to the doctor scale. 181 at home scale. I like my scale better...) and I told myself I'd lose weight before my husband came home. So far, no luck. So, I'm just gonna eat better and maybe start throwing out all of the crap food in the closet.

    Focus on logging your food. Reaching your calorie goals. Make it a game. It might be something fun to take your mind off of things. Pre log your days. Maybe spend some time at night prepping the next days food. Weigh and measure and prelog. Being organized will make you have more control. And then its not so much to handle. Toss out anything you cannot eat in moderation. I cannot have cookies in my house....I will binge. (my poor kid!!) but chips....don't bother me. So anything you know you will overeat on ...toss or give away.

  • ShaunShaunphenomenon
    ShaunShaunphenomenon Posts: 141 Member
    send me a friend request, I'll totally put you in the friendzone! aka the fun zone! yaaaaaaaaaaaay :smiley:
  • amandaiams
    amandaiams Posts: 73 Member
    rpsg0534 wrote: »
    Maybe just get out and walk around the block, or park or wherever you are. Don't think that you are working out. Just get more movement in. That is how I started. Not even everyday in the beginning, but most weekdays I walked for ten minutes. I could only walk a half of a mile. I was out of breath. Now, 165 days later I have a fitness trainer and I just have been able to jog 2 miles at 3.6 mph for a solid 30 minutes. I absolutely love it! But if you would have told me that 165 days ago, I truly would not have believed it.


    I think tomorrow I'll go to the gym and start walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes. at least it is something. or maybe go at my lunch, since the gym is 2 minutes from my work. There really is no excuse why I shouldn't go other than no motivation.
  • wmcmurray61
    wmcmurray61 Posts: 192 Member
    redwoodkestrel wrote: »
    Maybe try meetup.com? I know in my area there are a lot of meetups for walking/running/hiking etc. - a great way to meet people and exercise at the same time!

    Hey, that's a great idea! I am new to my area too and that would proabably fit the bill.

  • royvmax
    royvmax Posts: 13 Member
    30min walk every morning before eating anything at all - just water. because you are fasted you burn fat as fuel. Doesnt cost anything and improves your mood for the rest of the day. Plus youd be surprised how many people you meet, start by just say good morning. pretty soon youll be chatting
  • wmcmurray61
    wmcmurray61 Posts: 192 Member
    What has worked for me, to keep this a lifestyle change instead of just a diet, is to eat what I want but use portion control. I eat a fair amount of "junk" but if you log your calories here you find pretty quickly that you have to be choosy about junk food and eat more healthfully the bulk of the time. I gots to have ma treats! Of course, if you have a problem with trigger foods that you start with and then can't stop, this approach may not work for you. As for exercise, I started with walking and have never stopped! It is my go to exercise. I started with 10 min. 2mph walks and am now up to an hr at 3.5mph and in addition I do body weight strength training 3x a week. Feel free to add me. I'd love to encourage you on your journey. Don't be afraid. Just take that first step. :smile:
  • lbm1987
    lbm1987 Posts: 9 Member
    You might try shopping around for other gyms that offer more affordable personal training. I have lost weight on my own and gained it back several times, but I started working with a personal trainer almost exactly a year ago and my life has totally changed! Not only have I exceeded my weight loss goal but I have kept it off and find that maintenance mode is so much easier than the times before. I love the accountability and the intense training sessions make me feel strong, confident, and energized. It is a major expense, but I feel that it is completely worth it and it's just something I budget for now. If there is just no way you can swing it, then I would sign up for fitness classes that meet at a certain time--that way you have a definite start and end time, which may help with motivation.
  • Annr
    Annr Posts: 2,765 Member
    We are our worse critics. Having that said, we are also not the best support system. Just talking inside your thoughts does not make things happen. I have found a group called TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) that is a great "safe haven" to vent, be weighed in, and just be accountable. I know that attending these meetings with people of like goals helps. Fees are $30 to join and 3 to 5 bucks a month. Also because I journal on here, I know my bases are covered for the week. I feel powerful. I swim at a local KOA because I am a resident and they have a program to let us use the pool. To tackle a weight loss journey take planning, and you have to have some organizational skills. Like planning on what you eat, how you shop, how you prepare foods, and how you store them. I write all my days intake after breakfast when I am fueled. I shop with a list and vary my snacks to satisfy me, I make my family meals after I have eaten what I want to eat, and I have all my foods separate from the family's food. I do NOT wish to go thru cookies to get to my snacks thankyouverymuch. YOU CAN DO THIS.
  • amandaiams
    amandaiams Posts: 73 Member
    Just wanted to say thanks to everyone! I appreciate everyone's advice and kind words. I feel better knowing that I'm not the only person who feels this way. I'm going to continue looking around here for local support groups. As far as PT goes, I'm not sure I'd find them much more affordable. $60 an hour seems to be the norm in my area.

    I recruited a co-worker to join the gym with me, so we have to keep each other accountable. We tried once before and I sort of fell into a funk. But I think we need each other to be accountable. wish us luck!
  • radiosilents
    radiosilents Posts: 223 Member
    Hi! I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I tell you what, sometimes you have to start slow and make incremental changes. For instance, I had an easier time starting to get more activity before I felt like I could think about the food part. I did join a gym, but you don't have to – plenty you can do with your own body! Anyway, don't be afraid to do one thing at a time. If you can't deal with exercise right now, just focus more on the eating and do the best you can. Don't beat yourself up. Small steps will still get you to where you want to go, but it'll just take longer, and that's OK. :)
  • TeaLoverMJ
    TeaLoverMJ Posts: 5 Member
    The thing that's really helpful is to remember to start slow, and do something you enjoy doing!!! You won't carry on doing any you won't enjoy. If you hate jogging, don't do it! Walk faster, or get the bike out or get to the pool. I've found that telling Friends on MFP in the morning what I'm going to do when I get in is actually quite motivating too!

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