Should I be scared?

InnocentLunatic
InnocentLunatic Posts: 35 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I've always kind of been fat my whole life, topping at 288, and then deciding that I wasn't gonna let myself cross 300, so I brought myself down to like 268, which I think was when I first joined MFP, didn't use it, started using it again, and am now around 230...

Anyway, it's only really now that people have kind of started taking notice that I've lost weight. And I was walking on my way home today, some guy literally pulls over in his car and goes, "Hey you! I've seen you walking around, you been slimming down" and he's just like, this older guy, wanting to know what my name is, and then he goes on about how I shouldn't eat gluten(I assume he had previous weight loss issues of his own due to a gluten intolerance)

Anyway, should I be scared? And how do you guys deal with people complimenting your appearance? It's weird for me.

Replies

  • jillmarie125
    jillmarie125 Posts: 418 Member
    should you be scared of what? The man?

    I say thank you when someone says something nice. It can be a bit awkward, but...smile and say thank you
  • Vaprrenon
    Vaprrenon Posts: 12 Member
    I wouldn't be scared since it sounds like an isolated incident...but I know personally I'd sure be creeped out if I were in your shoes at the time, considering he pulled over his dang car (at least a passing comment on foot just feels like neighborly smalltalk)...but yeah, with this particular case I wouldn't hit the scared button just yet.

    It IS weird though when people just comment out of the blue...mainly if you have no idea who the person is. I don't really know how to take comments in general, but comments from strangers always make me nervous.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 7,018 Member
    Yeah, really. I had some construction guys catcall me while I was driving my kids around. My oldest laughed her head off at me and it was embarrassing. But flattering too, in a way. Compliments are fine. Some people just have to talk too much and overshare, like that guy. If the dude asked you to go for a ride though, I'd be high-tailing it out of there. Otherwise, like jillmarie said, smile and nod.
  • Megan101792
    Megan101792 Posts: 3,194 Member
    No but it can to awkward.
  • wilsoncl6
    wilsoncl6 Posts: 1,280 Member
    What I think is a little worrying is that his comment suggests that he's been watching you for some time. It may not be a big thing if he lives in the neighborhood and you constantly cross paths but you have to watch for other signs. This in itself is not too worrying but it's always good for a woman to have her guard up in today's environment.
  • InnocentLunatic
    InnocentLunatic Posts: 35 Member
    Okay, so I guess I don't need to start carrying around pepper or pest spray yet(What weight does that happen at? ;) )

    I know I'm just overly nervous in general, and I should be used to strangers being weird as I work at the local grocery store so it's like everyone knows who I am but I have no clue who 80% of these people are. And I've found that sometimes people take smiling and nodding as an invitation... There actually is a woman's self-defense clinic happening later this month, have been considering going because I figure it's sorta like exercise anyway... But.. I'm overreacting, I know XD
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Okay first, because you're young and you said he was old, be cautious, he could be a creeper. Second, when someone compliments you, say thank you and smile. You earned that girl!
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    It seems a little odd, but if he lives in your neighborhood and does see you around a lot and hasn't said anything before, my *guess* (but hate to venture anything more solid than that) is that he's not a stalker, just someone who sees you a lot. I have a view right into the apt complex dog park and I'm always accidentally too friendly to my neighbors who I see a lot - I feel like I've met them and forget that they never see me.

    I would say, since it doesn't sound like you gave him encouragement to talk to you again, if he DOES then raise your red flag. Especially if he keeps up about the gluten :)

    It's okay to be uncomfortable - no matter what anyone tells you, you do NOT owe men anything just because they talk to you about your body. It's okay to not want him to do that, and it's okay (though maybe risky) to say so.
  • 0067808
    0067808 Posts: 119 Member
    Sounds to me like he's had some weight issues himself and is trying to be supportive. Obviously be careful - but to be honest you've more to worry about from people who try to derail you from your weight loss aims. You're doing great, and people are starting to notice - its only a matter of time till someone says stuff like 'I liked you better curvier' or 'don't lose too much'. They're the real danger.......
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
    The majority of people are socially awkward beyond belief. Just ignore him and say, "thanks!" or something...I don't know.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    0067808 wrote: »
    Sounds to me like he's had some weight issues himself and is trying to be supportive. Obviously be careful - but to be honest you've more to worry about from people who try to derail you from your weight loss aims. You're doing great, and people are starting to notice - its only a matter of time till someone says stuff like 'I liked you better curvier' or 'don't lose too much'. They're the real danger.......

    QFT

  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
    A women's self defense class is always a good thing. There are creeps out there. That being said, I think he was trying to be supportive of you. Congratulations on an awesome weight loss. Keep it coming!
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 7,018 Member
    InnocentLunatic wrote: »
    Okay, so I guess I don't need to start carrying around pepper or pest spray yet(What weight does that happen at? ;) )

    I know I'm just overly nervous in general, and I should be used to strangers being weird as I work at the local grocery store so it's like everyone knows who I am but I have no clue who 80% of these people are. And I've found that sometimes people take smiling and nodding as an invitation... There actually is a woman's self-defense clinic happening later this month, have been considering going because I figure it's sorta like exercise anyway... But.. I'm overreacting, I know XD

    Self-defense isn't a bad idea in general. I took a class in college. No one's saying its wrong for you to not like the attention. I'd rather people mind themselves and leave me alone. So I feel you. I'm just saying it isn't necessarily freak-out worthy. Caution isn't bad though. If the guy approaches you again, I'd definitely start wondering, but some harmless people come off creepy. And some nice normal-looking people are psychos. That's life. Keep cautious but there's no need to be paranoid or worry unless someone's actions give you reason to.

    Best wishes. :smile:
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
    I am very shy and rarely talk to strange men
  • InnocentLunatic
    InnocentLunatic Posts: 35 Member
    Thanks for the advice everyone. I think maybe I'll see if the clinic's free or if not how much it is before deciding if I go, but not worry too much unless he bugs me again :X
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
    InnocentLunatic wrote: »
    Anyway, should I be scared? And how do you guys deal with people complimenting your appearance? It's weird for me.

    Yes, that was weird and inappropriate. Don't let him get within touching distance of you.

  • v27pig
    v27pig Posts: 12 Member
    Maybe he just thought he was being friendly and offering advice. I find it strange and a little awkward when people complement me, i tend to say thanks rather sheepishly. Still find it strange when people go OTT, can get a bit embarrassing
  • ilikethisname
    ilikethisname Posts: 15
    Maybe I am too trusting but I think he just wanted someone to talk about weight loss to. People rarely support another person's weight loss goals and the gluten thing worked for him so he was sharing.
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
    nosajjao wrote: »
    InnocentLunatic wrote: »
    So I've always kind of been fat my whole life, topping at 288, and then deciding that I wasn't gonna let myself cross 300, so I brought myself down to like 268, which I think was when I first joined MFP, didn't use it, started using it again, and am now around 230...

    Anyway, it's only really now that people have kind of started taking notice that I've lost weight. And I was walking on my way home today, some guy literally pulls over in his car and goes, "Hey you! I've seen you walking around, you been slimming down" and he's just like, this older guy, wanting to know what my name is, and then he goes on about how I shouldn't eat gluten(I assume he had previous weight loss issues of his own due to a gluten intolerance)

    Anyway, should I be scared? And how do you guys deal with people complimenting your appearance? It's weird for me.

    Well obviously anyone who talks to you is trying to abduct or kidnap you, you should probably jet to mexico and lay low just to be safe.

    Yeah I hear there has never been an abduction in Mexico.

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