this anger of mine!

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pattycakes80
pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
in Motivation and Support
i blame therapy.

i used to be very oblivious when it came to anger - i never really felt it, so i didn't believe it could be an option. turns out i wasn't feeling it because i was eating it all away. well, you start therapy, you start losing weight and guess what ??

i am one p*ssed off little cupcake.

but here is the issue: i STILL have no idea how to deal with it. i yell, i scream and hurl curse words into my throw pillows -- still, no major feeling of release. lately i have been eating mindlessly, something i really cut out. and this drives me mad, but i understand that is has to be something deeper that is triggering this behavior.

here is the deal - you are bullied for the majority of your life, you condition yourself to hate yourself because you have no real emotional insight when you are 9 years old and you spend the rest of the life trying to combat all the negativity that comes from that.

but i have that insight now - i am aware of what i am doing. could it be i miss being oblivious? look - i lost lots of weight, but i need to continue my journey to accomplish my goal. do i need to gain a stronger anger threshold? to sit with it, to explore it and to not chase it down with food?

this looks like a vent, but it is a call for anyone struggling with anger/emotional eating. or anyone feeling stuck.

happy monday.

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Replies

  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
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    I am often angry, I tend to rant at whoever is nearest until I calm down a bit
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    it makes me sad that people mistakenly believe that the only legitimate, legal, society-approved emotions are the positive ones.
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
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    Can you use your anger to fuel your workouts OP!?
  • pattycakes80
    pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
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    oh, right - the gym!

    i have totally stopped going to the gym. now, i never LOVED working out, but i LOVED the way i felt after, the change in my clothes, my body (what every other person says). and i got good at it. an hour on the arc trainer is pretty outstanding and i totally did that.

    i think the gym was a great anger outlet for me and once i stopped going, the emotions built up and now i am trying to fight them off.

    and anger is your friend - a super important friend. anger is there to take care of you. i was just taught as a kid that anger is bad, smiling is good, silence is even better.
  • jillmarie125
    jillmarie125 Posts: 418 Member
    edited November 2014
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    I get angry a lot. and i dont always have an outlet for it. Boxing has helped. If its an option, get a heavy bag. Boxing is a part of my morning workout routine. I notice a difference on rest days.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
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    Mindfulness meditation helps you learn how to feel an emotion without immediately reacting to it. I mean when you think about it, it's not the anger itself that's problematic, it's the way it makes your body react and the things you say and do when you're in its grip that are the issues. Learning to see these emotions for what they are and give yourself time before reacting has been really helpful to me...well except for today. Everyone's just pissing me off today.
  • TossaBeanBag
    TossaBeanBag Posts: 458 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Anger. Yeah, it comes and goes. Lots of feeling do. Often those feelings come more when I do not have enough calories, and my energy is not enough to fuel the workouts and things I want to do. Make sure you burn off the weight and not try to starve it off.
  • pattycakes80
    pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
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    i thank everyone for taking the time to add information - it means the world. i am really struggling.


    i also believe part of the issue is hearing positive encouragement that may throw me off. i lost over 100 pounds and i am not used to my weight being the topic of a good conversation - i can't get used to the compliments, but i may have a little too much as i started to backslide.

    i never wanted the scale to matter to me. it was always about health, the more powerful i would feel after working out, the healthier reaction i had to food - now that i am stuck it does stir up many emotions - frustration with myself being a major emotion and that feeling is tough to sit through.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
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    I use my workout for the anger. Kickbox is my favorite. if you are mad at someone in particular just picture that you are punching them, boy will you get a good workout.

    What are you doing at the gym? maybe it is your choice of workout that makes you not a fan of working out. Find things you like and do them.

    Like I said kickbox is great for anger management.
  • Mariachicat
    Mariachicat Posts: 311 Member
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    Workouts are good for blowing off steam & dealing with anger and frustration. Even when I stay within my calorie deficit, I feel much better when I've gotten a good workout in. Running with good music is key.
  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
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    you need to find your outlet, whether that is working out at the gym, going for a run, meditating, painting, writing wtv! try new things, see what could work for you. For me it's cosplay...I let out all of my emotions into making a costume...I try to make it as badass as I can so that I can feel like a badass in it.
  • smilzjoay
    smilzjoay Posts: 12
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    I did kickboxing and martial arts for many years, and it really helped me deal with a lot of trauma and emotional scars from my childhood. Recently I started yoga, and it has totally transformed my life! I am really enjoying listening to my body, knowing when to push, and when to stay back. I have a lot of physical limitations, past injuries, and even had a back surgery awhile back. Having the patience to keep with something that I don't think I can do, I find remarkable. Believing in myself that I can do it (what's that?) :smile: I love seeing myself get strong, and doing things I never thought I would ever be able to do again. I feel so tall, and it makes me more confident somehow, now that I can stand up straight again. The meditation, focusing on the negative energy, and cultivating the positive is something that all of us could really benefit from. If you have an opportunity to try a beginners class, go for it! Also, find a really good therapist, and be open to new things. I tried going to a Shaman once, and she really helped me deal with some hidden issues/hurts, and a lot of them know how to manipulate the bad energy/remove it/balance your chakras. I swear it works as long as you're open to giving it a chance. Good luck! I'm sure you will get there, this is just a pass through the valley, before you know it, you will be a the top again.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    pattycakes80 wrote: »
    and anger is your friend - a super important friend. anger is there to take care of you. i was just taught as a kid that anger is bad, smiling is good, silence is even better.

    me too. people dont love people who get angry. Anger is a sin.

  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
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    My hugest (is that a word?) downfall is pain. I have some major chronic pain issues that started before I gained the weight and has mounted up over time because of the limitations of having a broken back, fractured neck, 25+ Surgeries et al.

    A couple years ago I joined here following a surgery and was able to lose 100 lbs. OMG I felt great...was even looking good (to me.... which makes a difference cuz I wasnt relying on someone elses opinion). Then last year I had 2 surgeries back to back and the pain was thru the roof. I was supremely restricted on what I could do. (I had hand surgery and rotator cuff surgeries) And therein lies the problem. I seem to have given up or surrendered or something. I find it so hard to be active like I KNOW I should when I hurt so bad. I work full time and some days it takes everything I have to just walk from my truck to the office let alone envision working out before or after work. I love to walk, I love to throw little hand weights around and just keep moving. But dang.....the pain is soo horrendous. I just gotta get beyond it and move.

    I havent gained all of it back but dang close. So, here I am again. I have pulled myself back and gonna get back on the proverbial wagon so I came here. It worked last time and come hell and high water I WILL DO THIS!!!

    I HAVE TO DO THIS!!! And......I ask any of you who'd like support and a caring partner in crime in this wild and crazy journey called weight loss...add me.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    It seems as though your therapy has gotten to the point where you have become able to access your anger that was fueling your eating.

    That is ONE step. If you went back they might be able to guide you in appropriate and healthy avenues for your anger.

    I feel like your therapy is not done yet. You need to go back and explain instances where you've had anger, what you did, and why. Then they help you understand the appropriateness of the anger vs. the appropriateness of your response. Then you get ideas for moving forward. There also might just be a certain amount you need to "vent" as you have been doing before you feel "done".

    Just keep going.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    I get angry and sad. I dead lift it away.
  • pattycakes80
    pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
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    i am still very active in therapy. i love therapy, do not get me wrong. it is the greatest thing that has happened to me. there was NO WAY was emotionally strong enough to access my issues without the help of my therapist. he is the best.

    i was just so good at deflecting the pain that sitting with it really causes a struggle, but i understand i needed to do so in order to show that i can handle it. i am stronger than my past wounds. i could run to the gym, but that is another defense tactic (do not take that the wrong way - the gym is incredibly effective, a livesaver for anxieties) and once a while i need to plant my feet in the ground and take in the emotions to prove i am stronger now.

    grabbing a bag of chips just worked faster. but i was oblivious then - no longer now. now i work.
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
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    I crank up the Slipknot and scream at other traffic.
  • pattycakes80
    pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
    edited November 2014
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    oh, i have total commute-rage. on my way to the office downtown, i elbow and cut-off my way to work through the tough city streets of chicago. before i never knew where my rage came from but i get it - i always felt that people took advantage of me because they perceived me as weak and i'll be damned if a stranger is going to hog the train seat. not anymore.

    i get it is totally misguided and may result in a broken jaw if not toned down, but my point is that it exists. now, to make it work FOR me.
  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
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    refuseresist wrote: »
    I crank up the Slipknot and scream at other traffic.

    I call Comcast and yell at their call center reps. That really takes the edge off.

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