Absolutely Devestated

Pheboh
Pheboh Posts: 88 Member
edited November 8 in Health and Weight Loss
My scale started malfunctioning recently. Normally I'm around 230. It started weighing me at 205 ish. I knew it wasn't right so I bought a new one... and what did I find? I'm 257. I feel absolutely devastated. I'm having such a hard time losing weight as it is with my depression and just general loss of motivation and will power, and now we tack on nearly 25-30 pounds?! I can't even process this. I keep weighing myself over and over hoping it's a mistake... how can I recover from this? Any help is so desperately needed whether it's some suggestions here or a friend add for ongoing support!

Thanks everyone!

Replies

  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    You're no fatter than you were before you got that number.

    There's a chance that the new scale is wrong. Go weigh yourself somewhere else - a friend, neighbor, the grocery store, the gym, wherever.

    The number really doesn't matter that much. 220 or 250, you have weight to lose. So just focus on getting healthy and losing weight. Use the numbers to show your progress, but don't obsess over them.

    I started at 250 and am 177 now. I'm still quite fat and have a long way to go, BUT I feel so much better than when I was 250. I didn't even realize quite how hard it was to lug all that fat around until a lot of it was gone!

    It gets better. It takes SO. MUCH. WORK!! But it gets sooooo much better.

    Start exercising. It boosts your endorphins and makes you happier. :) After a couple weeks, you have more energy all the time.

    Hang in there. Don't defeat yourself!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,244 Member
    edited November 2014
    Mental reset. It's hard, but it can be done. Let's face it - you're exactly the same weight you were when you were weighing on your old scale. Nothing has changed but your perception. And while perception is a powerful thing - it legitimately IS all in your head.

    I struggled really hard losing weight this time around, because I had gotten down to 90 (kg), then let myself get up to 116 very quickly - my highest weight ever by over 10kg. Because I'd so recently lose that weight, I really struggled to celebrate any of those initial losses because I was overwhelmened with shame and anger that I was having to lose that same weight again. That I was supposed to be celebrating getting back down to a number which, only 12 months before had been my "highest ever".

    But with a good mental self-butt kicking I realised - just because you've climbed a hill before doesn't mean you shouldn't be proud of climbing it again. Or, in your case, just because you find out the road is a little longer doesn't mean you shouldn't start walking. The destination may be a little further, but the rewards are as great, if not greater and no matter the length of the journey the important thing is starting it.

    It sucks. But the reality is - nothing has changed. You're the same person, in the same place who needs to do (and can do!!) the same thing. :smile:

  • BrandyStinnett
    BrandyStinnett Posts: 10 Member
    Get a ten pound bag of potatoes, or anything with a set weight. Use those scales to weigh them. You can test it's accuracy this way.
  • kaykaduke
    kaykaduke Posts: 5 Member
    Hi! I know how you feel about that number on the scale! We both need to remember that are number doesn't define who you are! If you would like a buddy, add me! I'm not always upbeat but I do feel like this is the lifestyle change that is going to be permanent!!
  • I am so sorry that happened to you. It's hard enough feeling bad about a certain weight let alone finding out you weigh more than you thought. The good news is, if you have lost any weight since you've started your diet, you still lost that amount no matter what your new scale says. If you still have the packaging and your reciept I would take that one back and get a new one just in case its a faulty scale because that is a huge number difference. Good news number 2. You are making a great choice to lose weight and you are not a number on a scale. If that new number is correct then you have been that number for some time and did not just gain all that in the time it took you to buy your new one. I know its hard being overweight and can make depression so much worse, but you are doing such an awesome thing for yourself by trying to lose this weight. Again I am sorry if the number is right only because it makes you feel bad, not because the number makes you bad. If you would like to add me as a friend I will accept and cheer you on all along this journey of yours. I started out at 287 and I'm only 5'3. By watching what I eat and getting active today I am down to 239.8. I'm am by no means an expert on this weight loss thing but I always cheer on my MFP freinds and if you want to add me as friend I hope you do. Hope you have a better night and a better tomorrow.
  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
    edited November 2014
    This is how you need to look at it; no matter how much weight you lost to get down to what you thought was 230, you still lost that exact amount of pounds, you just had a higher start weight than you thought. That means that all the hard work you put in really did get you somewhere.

    I'm sure it's a devastating feeling, but you can still reach your goals. I started at almost 240 and I'm down to 165 now, with 20lbs to go. It can be done and you can do it.
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    This is a terrible feeling - I've been there (though not with so drastic a difference). Others have given you good advice...I just wanted to say, I'm sorry you were hit so hard by this and I hope you pull out of it soon and continue on your weight loss journey. I promise you, it will be okay. I do know it stinks to face the harder truths. Hang in there.
  • Pheboh
    Pheboh Posts: 88 Member
    Holy cow, what a fast response from so many! You're all so right. I still was this weight, regardless of the accuracy of the old scale. Still sucks though.

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind, beautiful words. I've read every one of them :)
  • SteveMFP123
    SteveMFP123 Posts: 298 Member
    Get a ten pound bag of potatoes, or anything with a set weight. Use those scales to weigh them. You can test it's accuracy this way.

    That's what I did when I got my new scale, except I used 4 2litre bottles of water. Turned out my old scales were a few lbs too generous.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    It is hard. I lost 30 pounds a few years ago. Then I regained it all. I have just now re-lost all of that weight. And even though I know it's an accomplishment to get it off again, I kind of feel like I am just now back to square one (and it took me six months to get here.) But, I had to do it to get where I want to be someday. So yeah, it sucks, but ya gotta power through. :smile:
  • thejuicywoman
    thejuicywoman Posts: 37 Member
    I know how devastating it can be to face a scale that's got news that you don't want to hear. But realize that for the most part, scales are pretty unreliable, especially if your intention is to use them to make you feel better. They're slippery little suckers and they'll hold your self-esteem hostage if you let them. Don't give your scale that kind of power.

    I can relate to how difficult it is to deal with depression. That's why I want to suggest to you to ditch the scale and look more closely at the emotions that are weighing you down. When our bodies' stress responses are turned on, everything goes out of balance and losing weight is next to impossible.

    What will really help you in the long term is to get control of the emotions that you feel about your body, your weight and the scale. As you are able to feel more neutral and relaxed around the process of losing weight, your body will release weight more easily.

    Holding onto weight and getting heavier is your body's way of expressing that it feels unsafe. Despite the fact that there's a part of you that wants to lose weight, there's a bigger part of you that fears the change that comes with being thinner. There are many reasons why this could be the case for you. It could be an association with a painful memory from the past, a hurtful relationship, or a fear of facing the future without the cushion of safety that extra weight can offer. I've learned so much about this myself and I'm eager to share more with others. If you're interested in exploring what's going on beyond the food, I'm offering you the opportunity to join my support group where I'll explain more about how you can use Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, which is a very effective stress relief method that will put the brakes on your hurting.
  • librarial
    librarial Posts: 61 Member
    You have a decision to make right now about which direction you go. Either you give up, and put weight back on, because you are so discouraged; or you keep working at it, and improve from where you're at now.

    No, you're not where you wanted to be right now. But in one month, you can either be fatter than you are right now, or thinner than you are right now. The decision you make today determines where you're at in the future. Which do you want? It doesn't matter where you thought you were, only where you actually are.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    You're in exactly the same place as you were before you knew the number. Take this and break it down if you need to, by making little goals. You can do this!
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
    Kalikel wrote:
    You're no fatter than you were before you got that number.
    There's a chance that the new scale is wrong. Go weigh yourself somewhere else - a friend, neighbor, the grocery store, the gym, wherever.
    Truth.
    I hate being weighed at the doctor's office because I know it's going to be higher than at home (which is first thing in the morning, after using the bathroom, & unclothed), so I don't worry about the number much. It's just not as accurate.
    I started at 250 and am 177 now. I'm still quite fat and have a long way to go, BUT I feel so much better than when I was 250. I didn't even realize quite how hard it was to lug all that fat around until a lot of it was gone!
    Truth again, and I'm "only" down 60 lb. I feel _so_ much better, physically & mentally.
    Just get started on losing the excess weight. You know you need to start, so don't worry too much about how much you need to lose (is it 30 lb or 50 lb), just start.

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  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    Want to trade weights? I wish I were 257 and I was hoping to reach that point this week, but it isn't looking like I'm going to make it.
  • whitehorse67
    whitehorse67 Posts: 101 Member
    Well, I can only add to what many others have said.....Your original weight was probably higher due to the scale malfunctioning. Who knows how long it has been inaccurate right? Don't look at the number you are at now....look at the progress you made!......Recharge, regroup, and push on.....you CAN do it!
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
    Do yourself a favour for future reference.

    Measure yourself
    Take a photo

    When no loss on scale check measurements (I do it about every 4-6 weeks). For myself I've noticed a trend. I may not lose on the scale but measurement will go down...and I've learnt as long as I stick to plan, so too will the scales.

    The photo is for visual comparisons that will come.

    So between the three, you can use either one at different times to propell you on.

  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
    edited November 2014
    Now you have a new starting point, you know what the number is. Time to get the ball rolling in the right direction.
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    Pheboh wrote: »
    Holy cow, what a fast response from so many! You're all so right. I still was this weight, regardless of the accuracy of the old scale. Still sucks though.

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind, beautiful words. I've read every one of them :)

    By the way, is your avatar pic a current one? You look beautiful.

  • Pheboh
    Pheboh Posts: 88 Member
    LAWoman72 wrote: »
    Pheboh wrote: »
    Holy cow, what a fast response from so many! You're all so right. I still was this weight, regardless of the accuracy of the old scale. Still sucks though.

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind, beautiful words. I've read every one of them :)

    By the way, is your avatar pic a current one? You look beautiful.

    Oh my goodness... It's fairly current. I've put on a bit of weight since then, but it gives you a general idea. Thanks so much for your kind words. I love MFP! Everyone is so supportive and kind!

    Thanks again to all! I feel a lot better than I did before I posted. You're all amazing!
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
    Scales are BS, they were invented to weigh dead meat! I can honestly say that I lost all of my weight when all I focused on was reducing my calories, skipping the junk and exercising. I went almost a whole year without weighing myself and just went by how I looked, felt and how my clothes fit. When I finally weighed myself at a gym I was shocked because I actually weighed less than I thought. My suggestion is to get rid of the scale for now. Focus all of your effort on eating healthy, exercise and being positive about how you look and feel. Celebrate the small changes and keep moving forward!
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    quitting will just result into that number getting higher. Lose one pound at a time....you can do it
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    Oh wow, that must have felt like a punch in the gut. I got a new scale recently that weighs me TWO pounds higher and I was disappointed!

    Do make sure the new scale isn't the malfunctioning one, just to be sure.

    Try to find a bright side. The more you weigh, the higher your TDEE and the more you can lose each week! And the faster it comes off! (Not that things are any different from last week but sometimes putting a positive mental frame around it helps anyway!)
  • Amitysk
    Amitysk Posts: 705 Member
    I had the same thing happen to me. My old scales batteries had started to die and when I replaced them I was 15lb heavier than I thought. So frustrating. Because of that I am barely weighing myself at all anymore and just using measurements to evaluate progress.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Pheboh wrote: »
    I feel absolutely devastated. I'm having such a hard time losing weight as it is with my depression and just general loss of motivation and will power, and now we tack on nearly 25-30 pounds?! I can't even process this. I keep weighing myself over and over hoping it's a mistake... how can I recover from this?

    I know that's really hard, even though it's just a mental thing and you haven't changed.

    When I started this I knew I was well above my ideal weight, but I'd somehow convinced myself that I was about the same as when I'd been at my heaviest before. I was scared to get on the scale but had tried getting on a weight loss plan in the past without weighing and that doesn't work for me, I need both the feedback and the mental exercise of taking control of it, of not being scared to see the number, but owning it. So I started my plan, mapped out in my head how long it would take, when I'd be at certain weights, so on, and could tell by how clothes were fitting that weight was coming off, and after a couple of weeks jumped on the scale hoping/expecting to see a certain number and saw one 30 pounds heavier. Wow! That did throw me for a few days and at first it just seemed like it would take so much longer. But then I adjusted, decided to try and frame it as a positive (now I can aim for 100 lbs lost, what a goal!), and broke my overall goal up into smaller ones. More significantly, having the specific number made it real and not something I could just (once again) decide I might as well start later, since it was going to take forever anyway. I decided I could take real steps to improve the number and the fact was that I'd feel better 20-30 lbs down, even if it was still far from my goal.

    And, on top of all this, I reminded myself of how fast time seems to pass in general and that if I got started I'd be a much different weight in 6 months or a year.

    That's all worked well, and it is true. In about 3 months I was where I thought I'd started weight-wise, but I felt 100% better and probably far fitter than my weight would have indicated, and each baby step allowed for a feeling of accomplishment and belief that I could do it.

    Don't know if that helps, but that's how it worked for me. (I'm now over 85 lbs down, and thank goodness I went ahead and started when I did.)
  • Pheboh
    Pheboh Posts: 88 Member
    Thanks again everyone! I'm so touched by everyone's comments.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
    edited November 2014
    Damn i hate what these scales can do to people! As others in here have said - throw scales away and focus on how you FEEL after working out. Do you feel good? Yeah focus on that :) Also take note of your clothes that may feel a little looser each day. If you must weigh yourself somewhere away from your home once a month, not once a week. If you dont see a substantial weight loss, make a change to your diet, up the intensity of your workouts. I'm not an expert but this has helped me. I know of one woman at my gym who did not lose an ounce of weight after a month of being "good" and exercise - but lost 9cm around the waistline!
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    edited November 2014
    Get a ten pound bag of potatoes, or anything with a set weight. Use those scales to weigh them. You can test it's accuracy this way.

    This you need a known weight to test as brandy said.
    Dont lose heart though, use it as an opportunity to get people to re evaluate your plan so you know it will work. The top reasons why people post on here about not losing weight is poor execution. If theres anything you arent sure about then drop me a line and ill assist if I can.

    Stuff happens, you havent quit and you can still get to target it just might take a bit longer to get to target. You miht not feel like it but laugh at it and then get on with making it right.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    I would be hesitant to trust the result of a scale test with something like a sack of potatoes or a dumbbell because (1) not everything is the weight it's stated to be but mostly (2) if your scale is off by say 2.5%, a perfect 10lb. bag of potatoes will appear to be 10.25lbs, which many scales round down to 10. But if you're 200lbs., it will be 5 lbs. off for you, which isn't a rounding error.
  • richardheath
    richardheath Posts: 1,276 Member
    I would be hesitant to trust the result of a scale test with something like a sack of potatoes or a dumbbell because (1) not everything is the weight it's stated to be but mostly (2) if your scale is off by say 2.5%, a perfect 10lb. bag of potatoes will appear to be 10.25lbs, which many scales round down to 10. But if you're 200lbs., it will be 5 lbs. off for you, which isn't a rounding error.

    That's what I was thinking too. To calibrate it correctly, you'd need something closer to the weight you are trying to measure. A stack of 45 lb barbell plates might work, if you have them.

    Also, make sure the scale is tared correctly (reading zero when there is nothing on it) and set on a flat surface. Bathroom tiles, for example, can be uneven which can cause the reading to be off. And, once placed, don't keep moving it!
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