Looking for a few close friends who understand the struggles of a lifestyle change and depression

Pheboh
Pheboh Posts: 88 Member
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
I'm sure many of us on here struggle with depression. I'm currently in a huge funk and I'm looking for some understanding friends who can support me, and who I can support through our journey.

I'm understanding that I may not lose weight as fast as others. I may emotionally eat some days. I may not make it to the gym a lot.

I need someone who can support me through these choices and encourage changes.

Who else is looking for support for the small triumphs?

Replies

  • Hi Pheboh - I understand very much so about dealing with lifestyle change and depression. And I have actually had success in doing it - so I know it can happen. Last January, I committed to totally changing my 'bad' habits: food, cigarettes, and alcohol. And I did it for three months and lost 35 lbs. And guess what else happened? The depression lifted SIGNIFICANTLY (I have been suffering from major depression for over twenty years - it cycles for me). Then I let my guard down and started having 'just a little of this' and 'just a little of that' and before I knew it, I was in a full-blown depression again and all of my hard work went out the window. BUT I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP.
    -
    I am re-committing to the promises I made at the beginning of the year - and giving up the health-sabotaging behaviors once again. My first day was yesterday - and I made it through! And I know you can too. What helped me tremendously during those three months was Journaling - not only my calories, exercise, etc. - but my personal feelings and emotions and goals and ambitions. I also spent a lot of time on a site reading blogs of other people who were following the same food plan as myself. This helped to keep me motivated and on track.

    You need to make a commitment to yourself to get healthier - in whatever shape or form that might be. You choose. Keep finding support from others online, and Journal your journey - I think that could really help you a lot. Most importantly, I and others will be here for you to encourage you through this - and I know I will need your support and encouragement as well. No man is an island, right? In any case, the lines of communication are now open - I look forward to seeing how this thread develops. :)
  • WantBestME
    WantBestME Posts: 128 Member
    All the best !! You have taken your first step..that requires applause!!
    We all have our down and up days, but we must reach the goal - that's what is important!
    BTW, I am not an emotional eater but an emotional-No-eater - I get angry on silly things and show it on DH and food by avoiding both!! :disappointed:
  • kbc7288
    kbc7288 Posts: 10 Member
    I often struggle with depression and anxiety. It can make diet/exercise so much harder. If you're a reader, I've read a book that was helpful to motivate me to exercise...."Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain". Exercise can be the best medicine for depression, but I know how difficult it is to START exercising when you're depressed!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    IN!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I'm not much of a talker, but I will listen and send hugs when necessary.
  • ChampCrucial
    ChampCrucial Posts: 120 Member
    I am all for you. Lets get it!
  • svelte32
    svelte32 Posts: 77 Member
    Pheboh I really can really relate feel free to add me/drop me a line.
  • Azurite27
    Azurite27 Posts: 554 Member
    I've made big changes in my life but still struggle with depression and anxiety every day. Feel free to add me.
  • pattycakes80
    pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
    count me in. depression is very real, but is also a terrible liar. let's do this together.
  • LazyCatPame
    LazyCatPame Posts: 112 Member
    Hey buddy... I guess we struggle with the same. Depression and anxiety here. Totally sucks, but I've survived a couple of years with it so far. So... I guess I'm adding you :-)
  • rupert2011
    rupert2011 Posts: 24 Member
    I totally understand and live the same challenges... Depression, anxiety, over analyzing life and situations, it's exhausting. I would love to travel this journey with you, I'm not perfect in my choices but I work on it everyday.. let's support each other.
  • stopdropandlose
    stopdropandlose Posts: 162 Member
    Hi! I actually just posted a blog post about how my bipolar and my physical health are closely related. I understand the struggle of having your mind take control of you. Feel free to add me, I love supporting others in their journey.
  • Original_Beauty
    Original_Beauty Posts: 180 Member
    I will add you because we can support each other :smile:
  • rahulmehta08
    rahulmehta08 Posts: 2,506 Member
    i totally understand ur statuation.I m in for u to support u.Take care
  • katiedoo82
    katiedoo82 Posts: 277 Member
    Hi all.... feel free to add me. Struggled with weight n depression most of my life. But was doing well up until the last yr or so. Injured my back..cudnt work...housebound...so comfort eating began..got bigger and bigger and closed myself off from the world. But 6 months ago I made the best decision to reach out...and things thankfully have improved since. I'm on med for depression n have overhauled my lifestyle. No more junk food. Eating healthy. Not really exercising much cos of back issue but losing weight..meds etc have Def improved my mental health and self esteem. Please feel free to add me whoever wants to. I still have bad days but the good are Def winning these days. We can support each other xx
  • toadg53
    toadg53 Posts: 302 Member
    It always amazes me, when somebody posts something like this, and so many can weigh in that they too suffer from the same issues. And are so willing to open up with that fact that they too suffer from depression, bi-polar, anxiety ... and are willing to help someone else that also suffers. This is SOOO unlike most of society today. And THIS is why I am so happy I found this site. I too have suffered for most of my life, but it was only diagnosed about 6 years ago. And yes, finding the eating plan that I was able to stay on and that worked to lose weight, has helped. It's all a life struggle. But finding people that know and understand is a Godsend. Friend request sent. And for anybody else as well. AND Katiedoo ... I luv your pups. I would steal them, except my little devil would disown me :)
  • Elsie_Brownraisin
    Elsie_Brownraisin Posts: 786 Member
    Feel free to add me. Also bipolar and use excercise a means of managing it, there are times though when just getting out of bed is an achievement.
  • Betty_Canada
    Betty_Canada Posts: 85 Member
    *pokes head in door* Mind if I chime in? I totally understand the weight loss / depression thing. I got down sixty pounds and then a whole bunch of things in my life sort of went sideways and the black dogs got me. I'm back up to 215 (about 35 lbs gained back) and sitting on a lot of shame and frustration and general exhaustion. At one point the shrink had me on a one month leash because I was so messed up, which was really disheartening, since I haven't had to come in that frequently in years (probably since my last really major depressive episode in 2003).

    I know what I need to do, but it all seems so hopeless and pointless. I had a minor depressive setback in May and I'm still trying to recover from that little explosion and all the side effects in terms of my work and personal relationships. My doctor has encouraged me to work with the Mindful Way book, but it's been a little stop and go. The nature of my work is emotionally exhausting and as much as I enjoy it, sometimes I really do feel like there's nothing left to invest in all that hard work of going to the gym and parceling out my food, especially since I can't seem to lose at all unless I'm 1600 calories or less, which I have a hard time managing without constant (nearly obsessive, really) vigilance and a constant awareness of food that sometimes makes me feel like I am missing out on my life.

    There's been a sort of nasty spiral of poor food choices, then injury (I had to get a DonJoy ACL brace and adjust to that, since I'll likely have to fight for years to get my knee replaced - long story), then the gym dropped off because of the exhaustion and I know I'm self-medicating with food. I know exactly what I'm doing, I described it to someone else as "putting food in my mouth so I don't have to open it and ask for what I need", which, while it was sort of a profound revelation, hasn't yet led to me figuring out what in the hell it is that's stopping me from getting back on the horse. Other than feeling like a failure, of course.

    I need a new GP, as I think my thyroid may have finally just rolled under the couch like a kicked puppy and abandoned me, which is not helping. I don't know if it's the thyroid, the depression, or the anemia (I've had problems with traditional anemia and pernicious anemia), but the exhaustion, congestion, acid reflux and teeth chattering bone deep cold spells are looking like thyroid.

    None of that really excuses my poor choices, and even if my thyroid or my iron levels get corrected, I still need the willpower to get back into the game, and right this second, I don't really have it, since I'm fighting off those black dogs everywhere I turn.

    I just spent some time reading the Just for Today thread, and perhaps I'll start with that idea tomorrow and try not to worry so much about the months of hard work I have ahead of me. Perhaps starting a journal, which I've never been all that good at, so I can figure out what's so wrong that I'm so afraid to speak up about.

    -B-
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,275 Member
    I am your twin here. Same issues. And the struggle. Add me. I am working at it. Really working in the winter, when I tend to have SAD. I just want to eat, sleep, eat some more, especially carbs. But I am consciously working on not getting in that spin cycle.
  • Juliarosemary66
    Juliarosemary66 Posts: 64 Member
    I have suffered with depression in the past and found myself emotionally eating and then feeling worse and worse and repeating the pattern, gaining more weight, feeling worse, and so on. I had a light bulb moment about my weight about 3 1/2 years ago, took my eating under control added exercise and you know what the black dog left! He does visit from time to time but i now hit the gym and really eat healthy when i feel my mood shifting downwards. I cannot bear the thought of feeling like i used to either emotionally or physically. It wasn't easy and some days are a real struggle food wise but for me taking control of what i feed my body and how i exercise and look after my body has helped the battle with depression. At least on my low days i can now do something positive for myself and it helps the self esteem. There is no simple cure for depression, it is debilitating and i wish you every success in your efforts to move forward. You should be proud that you have reached out for support. My advice would be to make small changes to begin with, like having a healthy and nutritious breakfast as you begin. Don't put yourself any under pressure and other changes will follow. it takes time to establish new habits and thought processes. All the best.
  • jessiwithaneye
    jessiwithaneye Posts: 39 Member
    I've struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a tween (38 y/o now). There's definitely a correlation between my emotional/mental state and my health-related behaviors, and it seems to be a two-way relationship. When I'm anxious or depressed, I eat comfort foods in (frighteningly) large quantities, sleep, repeat. Lack of exercise and poor food choices then exacerbate my anxiety and depression, which just makes it a million times harder to make changes. So very frustrating. I've been away from mfp for a while, really trying to recommit and make some positive strides now. If anyone wants to add me, I'd love some extra support. Fair warning, I'm a big goofball sometimes, too.
  • KetoFairy
    KetoFairy Posts: 8 Member
    edited November 2014
    I can totally relate to the depression and feelings of overwhelming hopelessness that comes with it. I went through a hideous spell last year, just about pushed me over the edge that time. This year I am in a much better space, personally. That has taken some massive changes in my life and my lifestyle and diet, but I feel I am finally getting free of the demons.

    One of the most important discoveries I made about myself and how I deal with stress and guilt came about when I made the decision to cut carbs right back. After a lot of research and years of yo-yoing, not understanding what it was that was constantly sabotaging me, the penny finally dropped. I am a Carb Addict. I am Carb Intolerant. That was the key for me. I made a pact with myself that this crazy roundabout of weight-loss / weightgain / weightloss had to stop. I had an incredible fear of ending up like my mother, who fought diabetes and a bunch of related conditions for half her life. I promised myself that this same thing would not happen to me.

    Now that I am on a strict regime of less than 30g carbs a day (yes that's radical, but I'm fighting hard now) and got myself into a state of ketosis, just the fact that I know that I'm burning fat instead of carbs/sugar to fuel my body and brain, I'm so much happier, vibrant, alert and mentally capable. The more I learn about this lifestyle, the more I understand why and how I ended up 34KG overweight for my size, despite trying all this time to achieve a weight and level of fitness appropriate for my height and age.

    I know that most people on here will not agree with me, when I say to you, cut back your carbs and introduce more healthy fats into your diet. This is exactly what I have done and it has allowed me to peel off 13kg, or almost 29 lb since the beginning of 2014. I'm only 4'11", and that is a lot for me. I have 46lb to go, but I am not one bit concerned that I might not get there. I've found what works for me, and that's what matters.

    And yes, I am definitely here for you, and for others who want to give mutual support and celebrate the little wins along the way. Cos that's what a community does :smiley: If anyone wants to send a friend request, please do so, I would love to connect with others.
  • Pheboh
    Pheboh Posts: 88 Member
    Wow guys, I'm so overwhelmed with everyone's responses! I'm so happy to be part of such a wonderful, supportive community!
  • gjspiller
    gjspiller Posts: 115 Member
    I hear ya! I have been struggling with mild-moderate depression/anxiety issues the last couple years. Even though I've managed it, and have been in a better place now, stress will trigger it and I'm stuck. For example, an accident happened at work almost 4 weeks ago, and I was so affected by it (guilt, anxiety, stress, etc.) that I was on this binge eating fest the last couple weeks since it's happened. So this stress triggered my depression about my health, diabetes, and now I'm dodging my doctor. I want to snap out of it and get back to regular exercise and eating better. Hence the reason I'm up at 2 am, debating whether to purchase T25 (exercise program) online, and coming back to My Fitness Pal.

    Please add me (and anyone else that can relate). I know that I have very few close friends that I can share this with so it'll be nice to have a support group that can truly relate. :smile:

    Would love to connect!
  • baronvrinda2014
    baronvrinda2014 Posts: 28 Member
    Hi! I compeltely understand the whole binging thing when you are depressed and the inevitable relation between weight gain/ standstill and depression when it comes to women. To reach over goal of a perfect body we also have to get over many personal issues like self esteem, confidence, letting go of insecurites and realising our power to influence our lifestyles.
    I am totally there for any support.. You can add me if you want :)
  • southernmom3
    southernmom3 Posts: 181 Member
    I am right here with all of y'all- some days are better than others for me. I have been through a lot but have really struggled since my divorce in 2008 to overcome my depression and become a happier healthier person so I can enjoy life with my kiddos. I am trying to stay focused. If anyone wants to add me and let us encourage each other - please do. I am trying to not give up and give in - taking this day by day. Will add those I can and the rest please add me. I need friends who understand depression and can relate to having a bad day and not tell me to just suck it up like others have.
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