How do people treat you now?
ashley51113
Posts: 14 Member
I have often wondered if people truly do treat people who are thin differently than they treat overweight individuals. So my question is:
Do you find that now that you have lost weight, people treat you differently? And if they do, do they treat you better?
It could be family members, friends, or strangers...
Do you find that now that you have lost weight, people treat you differently? And if they do, do they treat you better?
It could be family members, friends, or strangers...
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Replies
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The people who know and love me treat me exactly the same. And strangers are about as oblivious or friendly to me as they were before. I have only seen a few instances I would consider judgement, but I shrug. I switched out the rare "she's fat, why is she wearing that" judgment to the "skinny girl doesn't get it" judgement.
Cancels out, really.
But I walk into stores in the mall and I get a lot of attention from employees working the floor. However, now that I am a size 6/8 as opposed to a 14/16, I put way more into my physical appearance and I like how clothing fits on my body, and that full package comes across in a big way. And they just feel since I am pulled together I will spend more money in their stores.
Most of all, I find I treat MYSELF differently.0 -
I can honestly say that at my lightest, heaviest (now) and every weight in between I have never been treated any differently by friends or strangers. But also no matter my weight I'm super friendly, flirt like a fiend, and carry myself like a powerful sexy b*tch goddess. I also don't know the meaning of the word shy. So I'm never treated like anything other than a super friendly sexy b*tch.
I've always found that people treat you the way you demand to be treated. Weight means nothing, it's all in your baring.0 -
People treat attractive individuals differently than they treat unattractive individuals. I have found that to be true from 118 lbs right up to 249. What makes you "attractive" varies by person, but there does seem to be more opportunity to fall into the attractive category when one is not overweight.
But a well put together overweight person is probably going to generally be treated better than a trashy looking thin person (having been both from time to time
) 0 -
WOW! can not believe what i have read. I weigh 165kg (god only know what that is in pounds). OMG Yes people treat you different. I am not talking about being a size 14 to 18, but when you are larger. You are passed over for jobs (I always get interviews or am selected as being one of the last two applicants) but once they see me you know that "LOOK" you get. they want to say it but dont and you know you are not going to get that job. and yes i am physically fit to do them. I have been fat then skinny then fat for a number of reasons over the years and i find Doctors are the worst to judge and not find out the history. I once lost 45kg in 3 months and was happy and fit (went to the gym three times a day) and the first thing the doctor said was. "Now when are you going to do something about your weight", I was devastated i had worked so hard. No questions why I was there or about my history. I had a broken knee the doctor refused to xray it stated it must be my weight, I told him i fell down some stairs. 6 months later and i paid for a MRI and low and behold it was a broken knee. There definitely is bias towards
FAT people not slightly over weight, but FAT people.
But if you are keen to loose weight I know from experience things do get a lot better once you loose it and people do treat you better.0 -
People definitely treat you differently when you're overweight as opposed to the opposite, especially the opposite sex.
I am a pretty decently outgoing person when I'm around crowds. I don't find it hard to make new acquaintances, and I've never had an issue finding a girlfriend even though about half of those relationships came from online. But, about 10 years ago, I was around the same weight I am now, i.e. way too fat, and I put the effort in to lose 90lbs in only a few months.
Let me tell you, the attention I got from just women alone skyrocketed to a place I never even imagined to be possible for myself. For those couple of years when I was at a much healthier weight, I had women chasing me instead of the other way around. Then, as I started gaining the weight back, the amount with which the opposite sex was interested in me was directly proportional to the number on the scale. It was an extremely stark contrast.
I like to lie to myself, and say that it had to do with confidence, but I don't find myself acting any differently than then. Honestly, the only variable in that equation is my weight.
Obviously, I can't speak from a women's perspective on the differences of treatment by the same sex, but I didn't notice anything different in the way guys treated me.0 -
I guess I have never been big enough to see a difference, then. Or I live in an area where even at my heaviest I was still on the acceptable side. There is a cap, though. People are going to judge you for one reason or another and if you go looking for it, you are sure to find it.0
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I've noticed the difference first-hand. At my highest weight ever of 220 in middle school, I was treated terribly by students and even teachers would make comments and laugh a little. Then in high school, I got myself down to my lowest weight ever of around 145-150 (extremely normal at my height) and then guys who used to make fun of me wanted to flirt with me, teachers saw the difference (lost the majority of the weight in my later high school years...got down to about 200 by junior year of high school, then dropped the rest by late junior year-early senior year), and even my parents started treating me better. I even got a good job right after graduation and then had to deal with perverted men in the workplace and after that ended, got a job based on my ahem...upper assets (perverted manager). After some stuff happened and I gained some weight back (back up to weighing 190 lbs), I was being treated kinda bad again. Was told on blind dates that I was "too big", had a now ex-bf tell me I'd be sexy if I'd "only lose 20 lbs", and dealt with a LOT of cheating and such. However, I found a good guy finally and he found me beautiful. He overlooked my weight and supported me in my goals in life. Now, in total, I've lost 20 lbs and have made it down to 170 (and I keep going). We have now been together 10 months and each day, he has told me I'm beautiful and continues to do so. I've also been at a good job for about 7 months and they have noticed a difference and tell me that they don't want me to get too skinny lol. I am around 20-25 lbs from my goal and am determined to get there within the next few months.
Sorry for the long reply...just posting my personal experience with the issue...0 -
Family treats me no differently. Strangers either treat me nicer or some sort of skinny shaming.0
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In my experience, the way people treat you and view you has far more to do with how you treat and view yourself...i.e. regardless of weight, if you're a confident and outgoing person, people respond in kind.
I think people think that losing weight is some kind of magic pill to happiness...it's not...if you're not happy with yourself and confident in yourself to begin with, it's likely that losing weight alone isn't going to change that.0 -
The only people I've noticed to treat me differently are my ILs. They all seem to believe I'm not allowed to eat certain foods anymore. MIL is especially bad about it.
As for random strangers IRL, I get nothing.0 -
Hipsters give me more attention, but otherwise no difference.0
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I am only curious, didn't want to know for any specific reason other than for information. I have seen segments on TV where they put people in "fat suits" and send them out to do various things... In the shows they get treated differently, but you never know what is real and what is being played out specifically for TV. Thank you for your responses.0
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Haven't noticed a difference myself. But I was the type to stay inside when I was in really bad shape, so that might've had something to do with it.0
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Honestly the differences for me are somewhat obvious. I've gone from size 24 to 10 and the main things I notice...
- true friends & family I love treat me the same
- cashiers/servers generally treat me better but talk to me less than before
- women of roughly average size check me out and appraise me in a very obvious way, wherever I go. I never noticed this EVER before until I was around size 12.
- people do NOT give me my personal space in line, store aisles, etc. I realize now that people used to give me a wide berth.
- people touch/hug me much more. Not always a good thing.
- indie guys in their 20's don't stop and flirt/talk to me about my shoes, music taste, etc, like they used to (all of the time) when I was much larger.
- men in their 30's, 40's, and 50's check me out a LOT more, and it's very obvious.
- a couple of plus size ladies I have long considered friends are cold/weird to me now.
- boys/men of all ages suddenly call me sweetie, hon, babe, etc. I'm not offended but I find it BIZARRE to be honest
- women my age and in my circle of extended friends/acquaintances take 100% more interest in me, invite me to parties, etc. This is probably the most drastic & noticeable change I've had. Instead of "oh hi" it is now "OH hey it's so good to meet you, want to come to this thing I'm hosting on the 13th?"
- people no longer look at me strangely when I order something healthy or talk about walking/hiking/biking
- I get fewer compliments on things like makeup/accessories, and more compliments on my clothing & figure.0 -
Well, I haven't always been overweight. Before I gained weight, everyone from friends to family would make comments about me needing to eat more and my family would liked to call me a twig. I was 5'4 and my weight fluctuated around 130lbs.
When I gained weight and got to 260lbs, well the comments stopped. In fact, everyone avoided the subject of my weight.
Now, I'm losing weight and my friends are happy for me. My mom asks me for advice to help her with weight loss. My grandmother is very supportive and even paid for a subscription of Cooking Light magazine as a surprise for me. Some of my other family members however, told me at 181lbs I needed to stop losing weight. Now, I do know that a few of my friends would tease me if they knew I was calorie counting. Calorie counting seems to have an awful stigma attached to it.
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It's a sad world! When I was pushing 400lbs, now I'm 192 I was always the center of the 'fat' jokes, picked on! Couldn't stand it anymore...
Now, the attention is annoying sometimes! Look @ the weight you lost, but you know what? If I didn't have the motivation, determination, I would of never completed my goals!
#NeverGiveUp0 -
ccmzone2013 wrote: »It's a sad world! When I was pushing 400lbs, now I'm 192 I was always the center of the 'fat' jokes, picked on! Couldn't stand it anymore...
Now, the attention is annoying sometimes! Look @ the weight you lost, but you know what? If I didn't have the motivation, determination, I would of never completed my goals!
#NeverGiveUp
Had a look at your profile. Crazy good work, man. Genuinely impressed.0 -
I've always been treated better as a skinny person. More respect, more compliments, less "advice", less patronizing on ANY health discussion. I recently told a Dr. "don't mind my feet, I've been walking a lot and have the blisters, callouses to prove it." She went ahead to tell me how GREAT!...walking is for you and on and on like she was teaching me something. Hm? I wonder if that's why I decided to rely heavily on walking for my workouts? Think I might have read every single thing you just said to me on articles and elsewhere and come to the same exact conclusion? My overweight status has not affected my vision nor my reading ability thanks. #annoy
When I'm skinny if I have a conversation that includes any workout I do, what follow are questions as to how I do them and whatnot. It's assumed I know a little somethingabout fitness. That's the main difference. It carries over though. There's an overall less likelihood of being put in my place when I'm thin. Pretty much most men don't want to offend a thin pretty person just in case they have a chance of getting laid. Women are more careful just in case you get pissed at their rudeness and get revenge by trying to steal their husband. Watch your step people, I'm getting skinny again.
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My family and friends treat me the same, as always, because my personality hasn't changed. The frequency I've gotten hit on hasn't changed. My BMI is now low, and I'm underweight, so I'm trying to gradually increase my calorie intake, but what scares me, is the only change I've witnessed so far: women's comments towards me. So many girls and women have come up to me to tell me that they'd love to have a body like mine, because I am "so skinny"! I was in the Dior boutique with my dad, and he was getting me a Lady Dior bag. I wanted the large size, because I believe in practical bags, that will allow me to place all my essentials inside comfortably, rather than just carrying a bag for accessories sake. The salesgirl attending to me immediately told me to get the small or medium sized bag, because of my skinny frame. My dad then told her, "Don't worry. My daughter is slowly working her way up to gaining some weight again, so let her get the size she wants." The salesgirl then gasped loudly and said, "Why gain weight?! People would die to have a skinny body like hers! I wish I was as skinny as her!" It really saddens me, because random women have been coming up to me to compliment me on my body, when this is a weight even I didn't intend to get down to. When I was overweight, I never cared much about aesthetics, and I sought to lose weight, to hopefully minimise health complications in the future. Losing weight has opened my eyes to the reality of the "ideal" body type that is pursued by many, because of some stereotypes that the beauty industry propagates.0
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I notice that I get far more attention from men, especially younger attractive men. I'm really not used to it, and it feels weird and confusing. I get kind of suspicious and wonder why they are talking to me? I know for sure they would not have given me a second look 6 months ago, and therefore automatically assume they are judgemental. But really that's based more on my confidence level, I have trouble trusting the compliments. It just doesn't seem normal to me!0
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I get looked at in the eye more often, I get catcalled really often whereas I NEVER got catcalled at 300 (not that it's a source of pride but it is a difference), I get complimented a lot more in general.
guys are still asshats though... but I'm pretty confident they're asshats to even the most beautiful of thin women. the truth is, people being idiots is more a reflection of them and not you.0 -
It's a huge difference. Cutting down I now have women approaching me more then I would like. I am married so that's not a good thing. Guys are pretty cool about it. Some guys ask different things to help them along. Guys it's not too different. Women seem to try to get a conversation going a lot more. That's what I noticed.0
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ashley51113 wrote: »I have often wondered if people truly do treat people who are thin differently than they treat overweight individuals. So my question is:
Do you find that now that you have lost weight, people treat you differently? And if they do, do they treat you better?
It could be family members, friends, or strangers...
I don't know if it's because I carried my weight well or what but I haven't really noticed a significant difference. Although, on the negative side, people feel a lot more comfortable commenting on my body now. I don't remember anyone ever saying anything bad about the way I looked before but now I sometimes get "bones are for dogs" type comments. Thankfully I'm confident enough that it doesn't bother me too much.0 -
ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »ashley51113 wrote: »I have often wondered if people truly do treat people who are thin differently than they treat overweight individuals. So my question is:
Do you find that now that you have lost weight, people treat you differently? And if they do, do they treat you better?
It could be family members, friends, or strangers...
I don't know if it's because I carried my weight well or what but I haven't really noticed a significant difference. Although, on the negative side, people feel a lot more comfortable commenting on my body now. I don't remember anyone ever saying anything bad about the way I looked before but now I sometimes get "bones are for dogs" type comments. Thankfully I'm confident enough that it doesn't bother me too much.
That reminds me of the post made by that woman who said her husband told her "bones were for dogs!" Ha. Silly people.0 -
Yes, different by many some different by some friends and family, much different in public. Probably partly weight related, partly confidence that has been re discovered too.
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arditarose wrote: »ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »ashley51113 wrote: »I have often wondered if people truly do treat people who are thin differently than they treat overweight individuals. So my question is:
Do you find that now that you have lost weight, people treat you differently? And if they do, do they treat you better?
It could be family members, friends, or strangers...
I don't know if it's because I carried my weight well or what but I haven't really noticed a significant difference. Although, on the negative side, people feel a lot more comfortable commenting on my body now. I don't remember anyone ever saying anything bad about the way I looked before but now I sometimes get "bones are for dogs" type comments. Thankfully I'm confident enough that it doesn't bother me too much.
That reminds me of the post made by that woman who said her husband told her "bones were for dogs!" Ha. Silly people.
Thankfully Mr. Acrylics doesn't share the sentiment. Also I've never understood what makes people feel like they need to give someone else input like that. I mean, assuming a person is healthy and all, what makes a person think "I should tell this person that I don't like their body?"0 -
ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »arditarose wrote: »ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »ashley51113 wrote: »I have often wondered if people truly do treat people who are thin differently than they treat overweight individuals. So my question is:
Do you find that now that you have lost weight, people treat you differently? And if they do, do they treat you better?
It could be family members, friends, or strangers...
I don't know if it's because I carried my weight well or what but I haven't really noticed a significant difference. Although, on the negative side, people feel a lot more comfortable commenting on my body now. I don't remember anyone ever saying anything bad about the way I looked before but now I sometimes get "bones are for dogs" type comments. Thankfully I'm confident enough that it doesn't bother me too much.
That reminds me of the post made by that woman who said her husband told her "bones were for dogs!" Ha. Silly people.
Thankfully Mr. Acrylics doesn't share the sentiment. Also I've never understood what makes people feel like they need to give someone else input like that. I mean, assuming a person is healthy and all, what makes a person think "I should tell this person that I don't like their body?"
In this case, she was clearly uncomfortable with her own body-looking for compliments from her husband, and then trying to make people who are thin feel unattractive, the way she felt. I dunno. Just a guess.0 -
Before I was injured, I had lost 126 lbs. Nobody treated me any differently. I, however, felt better about myself with the weight off.0
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I just recently lost 32 pounds and went from a size 14 to a size 4. I'm 5'6" so I feel pretty good at this weight. As a overweight middle aged married woman (I'm 47 years old) I was practically invisible before I lost weight. I'm married, so attention from men is not something I ever sought out or seek out now, but Wow, what a difference! Men of all ages will talk to you much much more when you are thinner. Women seem to give you more attention too. Mostly to ask how you lost it and for advice. (Funny how they claim to want to lose weight but most of them don't want to work for it. They don't want to count calories or work out....shrug!). It's a nice ego boost I guess, but mostly just amusing.0
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cwolfman13 wrote: »In my experience, the way people treat you and view you has far more to do with how you treat and view yourself...i.e. regardless of weight, if you're a confident and outgoing person, people respond in kind.
I think people think that losing weight is some kind of magic pill to happiness...it's not...if you're not happy with yourself and confident in yourself to begin with, it's likely that losing weight alone isn't going to change that.
I completely agree with this. I viewed myself differently. Other people treated and viewed me the same whether I was thin or heavy.0
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