Feeling Hopeless
nspink22
Posts: 83 Member
Hello everyone. I have been on and off MFP for a few years now. Usually, when I decide I want to start a healthier routine and lose some weight, I see some success. I don't necessarily lose weight easily, but I've always been able to work at it and see results. For the past several months, however, things have been different. I am finding it very hard to stay motivated and not get discouraged. I am currently at 148, which is my heaviest weight. Less than two years ago, I was at 128. Being only 5'2", a 20 lb weight gain is quite significant. I am struggling with feeling bad about my body (and even worse when I keep buying bigger clothes), and while I know this should motivate me even more to work harder, it just deflates me. I used to be very athletic and it is frustrating for me to not only be much heavier than I am used to being, but also to not be able to workout at a level I used to. I am not looking for sympathy, but I am wondering if anyone out there has had similar problems and how you've been able to pull yourself out of the slump. For the first time ever, I've felt myself adopting a "why even bother" attitude and I just can't seem to get the right mentality lately.
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Replies
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All I can think of to say that might make you feel better is that you are so insanely close to your desired weight goal. A lot of folks here, including me, are trying to lose 100+ pounds. Not that your situation is any less difficult but we all go through self-hate and that really accomplishes nothing. Hope you can find a way to feel better about yourself.0
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Wow. So weird that this is the first post I came upon when I was about to post. I am in the same place. I too am only 20 or so pounds overweight but it really affects me emotionally and physically. I recently lost the same weight, it was my first goal, and now that I lost it I seem to have lost motivation, Its like I pat myself on the back, oh good job! and then start crappy habits again. I ate almost a full pizza tonight, I wouldnt have done that 2 weeks ago, but since I lost the weight I felt entitled. The problem is, this is what happened last time and I am sick about it! I feel like I am gonna do downhill again. I wonder, where is the motivation for the last 15-20 pounds?! I feel pretty good, therefore I kind of give up! arrghh! I CAN NOT have that happen again. I look down at my fat and think "yuk, there is still so much there, but hey, Im not THAT bad now" I go through this every time. What makes us just KEEP ON GOING? I need to know the secret too!0
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OP, how old are you? I noticed dramatic shifts in what I could and couldn't "get away with" food-wise/exercise-wise at several periods in my life, and it seemed to come on like gangbusters with each shift. I can only assume my hormones changed in some way, or there was some other internal factor, as external factors were not changing during those times, nor my work status, parent status and so on.0
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Hi LAWoman. I am 27. I was definitely more active in high school and college, so I know that has a lot to do with it. When I started working full time after college, I was at a company that had a great wellness facility with lots of equipment and free classes. The past two years, I've worked at a company that doesn't have an on-site gym and I find it so much harder to motivate myself to workout when it's not part of my workday. I know I need to stop with the excuse and just get my butt to the gym, but there are always so many other things I find to do to justify not going.0
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Hello everyone. I have been on and off MFP for a few years now. Usually, when I decide I want to start a healthier routine and lose some weight, I see some success. I don't necessarily lose weight easily, but I've always been able to work at it and see results. For the past several months, however, things have been different. I am finding it very hard to stay motivated and not get discouraged. I am currently at 148, which is my heaviest weight. Less than two years ago, I was at 128. Being only 5'2", a 20 lb weight gain is quite significant. I am struggling with feeling bad about my body (and even worse when I keep buying bigger clothes), and while I know this should motivate me even more to work harder, it just deflates me. I used to be very athletic and it is frustrating for me to not only be much heavier than I am used to being, but also to not be able to workout at a level I used to. I am not looking for sympathy, but I am wondering if anyone out there has had similar problems and how you've been able to pull yourself out of the slump. For the first time ever, I've felt myself adopting a "why even bother" attitude and I just can't seem to get the right mentality lately.
Yes, I've been there as well. I got tired of not being able to run like I used to, or of not feeling as good as I used to, when I was at my healthiest weight (which was still considered overweight for my height). What worked for me was to visualize what it would be like to be if I were not overweight. I imagined no more strain on my joints, less tiredness, and the ability to increase my running time and speed.
Flash forward almost two years later.
Today I weight 139/140 and am within the normal weight range for my 5 ft 4.5 inch body, large body structure. I am not tired all the time, my running distance and speed as improved immensely, and I now heavy weight lift. I feel the best I ever have, and this year is the first year in my entire life I have been within a normal weight range.
I challenge you to absorb what it was like for you when you were at your healthiest weight, to set up your goals to lose that 10 or 20 pounds you want to lose at a rate of .5 pounds per week, to pick up activity/exercise you like if you so choose to, and just trust the process.
You can do this! I know you can.
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You can do this!!!
We all get like this from time to time, I myself say the same thing... why bother!!!! But then you need to look at this way, Do you really want to be 20lbs heavier? NO!
Would you like to be 20lbs lighter... .? YES!!!!!
Now the only way for this to happen, is for your to watch watch you eat. Consume less calories and more a lot more.
It will come off.
To motivate you put a slimming lovely photo on your phone of yourself, or on your fridge door. Or go and buy a smaller dress you wish to fit into - This will motivate you!
Throw away the crap - Stock up on yummy foods, high protein, fruits, veggies etc.
Start cooking some yummy healthy meals, After a while you will feel better about yourself and determined.
YOU CAN DO THIS COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You've been lighter before.... You can be lighter again!!!!!!!
ONLY YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Thanks so much for the kind words. I know I just have to keep reminding myself that I CAN do this. It really helps to hear it from you guys, though, too. 0
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I could have written that post, word-for-word.
To be honest, I wrote a post similar to yours a few weeks ago. I had gotten so much positive (and negative) feedback...they actually pushed me forward with my weightloss. I should write another one, because I'm starting to revert back again.
I think the best thing you can do, is post for help!0 -
The last time I was in your shoes, I couldn't figure out why what had worked in the past wasn't working anymore. I even asked my Dr. at my annual, and she said, "Well, you are getting older," and, "Have you thought about just buying new pants?" Then I stepped up my accuracy and realized why-- there was a lot I just wasn't logging! It's not my aging metabolism, and at 27, I very much doubt it is yours either. You CAN do it. It just takes a little extra effort to get in the groove.0
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Thanks, everyone! This is why I love MFP 0
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You're only 27. Still, you're not expected to have the energy you had in high school. Start with your logging, as most of your weight loss comes from a caloric deficit. As you start losing, it will pick up your momentum!0
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Thanks!0
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In my observations, it seems like people who were once healthy have a much harder time with weight gain (emotionally) than people who've been overweight since a young age. Now I'm starting to see another pattern: "I used to be athletic", "I used to be skinny", "I used to be...". I believe Springsting wrote a song about this problem ("Glory Days").
People who've always been fat don't have those thoughts, even after becoming much fatter.
So with that in mind, perhaps this advice will help you: It doesn't matter who or what you used to be. What matters is what you are and what you will be. If fat people dwell on the past the way skinny people do, they start to think things like "I've always been fat, I always will be fat". It's just not good for anybody. Face forward and keep moving.
You can do this.0 -
I've had, "Screw this!" moments. I decide to take a break, stop the exercising, stop the dieting, just do whatever the hell I want.
Then I remember that this is what I want.
It's so much easier to stick to it when you give yourself permission to quit!
If you really want to take a break, though, take it. Maybe you need that!
Just figure out what you really want and go with that. Do what makes you happy!0 -
In my observations, it seems like people who were once healthy have a much harder time with weight gain (emotionally) than people who've been overweight since a young age. Now I'm starting to see another pattern: "I used to be athletic", "I used to be skinny", "I used to be...". I believe Springsting wrote a song about this problem ("Glory Days").
People who've always been fat don't have those thoughts, even after becoming much fatter.
B
So with that in mind, perhaps this advice will help you: It doesn't matter who or what you used to be. What matters is what you are and what you will be. If fat people dwell on the past the way skinny people do, they start to think things like "I've always been fat, I always will be fat". It's just not good for anybody. Face forward and keep moving.
You can do this.
Of all the comments on here, I have been thinking about this one constantly for the past several days. I think this helped me reach my "aha" moment. I realized that I always lead the conversation with, "I used to be 20 lbs lighter..." And I think in a strange way, this was an excuse for me to not work to get it off. As if for some reason, the fact that I USED TO be in shaped made up for the fact that I no longer am. But you're right. It doesn't matter what I was before, it just matters where I am now. Even though I knew I was thinner before, I wasn't fully accepting that I'm not now. This really helped me to accept where I am now and work to change that. Thank you so much, jrose1982.
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You're not alone - I have similar feelings. I'm taller than you (5'7.5") and about 169. When I start feeling hopeless it's unbelievably hard to pull out of it. I have found, though, that if I absolutely FORCE myself to do things the way I should for 1 week solid it helps. I lose at least a pound, I feel better and more energized. Usually that's the spark I need to get the fire started. I just haven't been able to make it through that solid week to fire me up. This is that week, though, I need to snap out of it! Good luck...your feelings are normal. I wish I had more magic words to help...I could use them myself!0
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I too am in the "short girls club" at 5'2. I have never been so blessed to even be at your highest weight... so there's that I have always struggled with my weight.... never been athletic... no athletes in the family... everyone is very inactive and overweight. However, I can't blame it all on them because I am 29 years old and fully responsible for myself. At my highest (early last year) I weighed 180. I now weigh 166. I have been teetering at 166 since May. I've had good months and bad... lost my motivation... been on MFP for 6 years on and off so I get it (my lowest weight was 153). The biggest thing I've taken away from this year is this: 1) Don't make it about the weight. You said you used to be athletic.. so find a fun activity that you love to do that gets you moving. Make a FITNESS related goal and the weight will follow. (I'm training for my first Marathon.... I'm concentrating on doing well on my runs and feeding my body... if I also lose weight which I'm sure I will... great). 2) Fitness is not a destination. You're never going to "get there" and then be able to sit back and relax. You will always be travelling this road.... so you have to make changes to your life that you can make permanent with ease over time. That being said, don't give yourself a timeline. Stop saying "i'm going to do this by this time" because if you don't make it you'll feel like a failure. Overall, just strive to be HEALTHIER tomorrow than you are TODAY..... and the rest will fall into place. My new favorite saying "If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up". Good luck! Hang in there... everyone has bad days... you just gotta fake it til' you make it! 0
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Thanks, everyone. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.0
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I'm 5'1" and am also in the same boat with trying to lose weight.. (My goal is to lose 100lbs). I guess the one thing that motivates me is to look at pictures of individuals who have lost weight..to see their before and after pictures definitely motivates me.
It also helps if you have someone to help keep you on track. Not just online friends, but individuals you see and talk to daily (boyfriend/girlfriend/family, etc). I find that being able to talk to my friends/fiance about my struggles and just having someone there to motivate me definitely keeps me on check with my weight-loss goals.
I think it's normal to have slip ups every now and then. We're human. We get tired and need to take a step back to re-energize our mind and body. Just remember to get back on track
Hello everyone. I have been on and off MFP for a few years now. Usually, when I decide I want to start a healthier routine and lose some weight, I see some success. I don't necessarily lose weight easily, but I've always been able to work at it and see results. For the past several months, however, things have been different. I am finding it very hard to stay motivated and not get discouraged. I am currently at 148, which is my heaviest weight. Less than two years ago, I was at 128. Being only 5'2", a 20 lb weight gain is quite significant. I am struggling with feeling bad about my body (and even worse when I keep buying bigger clothes), and while I know this should motivate me even more to work harder, it just deflates me. I used to be very athletic and it is frustrating for me to not only be much heavier than I am used to being, but also to not be able to workout at a level I used to. I am not looking for sympathy, but I am wondering if anyone out there has had similar problems and how you've been able to pull yourself out of the slump. For the first time ever, I've felt myself adopting a "why even bother" attitude and I just can't seem to get the right mentality lately.
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Hi, any time you start thinking negative thoughts, stop, think about all the positives you have. Just think you could be 100 pounds overweight instead. And from your pictures you are very pretty, so don't beat yourself up anymore. Just be the best that you can be, cause remember there's only one you. There's no one else just like you, so love and take care of yourself. Don't give up, remember things can always be worse.0
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You've gotten great feedback here! I just wanted to throw in that my motivators have changed over the years. Seeing a skinny picture of myself used to help me. Now it deflates me. Now it is taking care of myself--a pedicure, a massage etc. is more motivating that a skinny dress etc. So realize that you might need to adapt your thinking and motivators. What worked in the past might not fit the bill anymore! Good luck!!0
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Add some friends! It helps having people on your side and someone (or some people) to bounce thoughts, ideas, etc off of. It's sooo hard dealing with the "I used to be" I know because I am in the same boat. We all have our days where we want to give up. I then look at my pic I have that was my last straw or even look at my progress graph and it doesn't seem so bad. I find mixing it up helps a ton too! Try new food, recipes, etc. I like to see how much I can eat for how little calories! Buy a new work out dvd or some sort of fitness device. Sometimes you just have to trick yourself a little to get back in the mind set. Oh, and new work out clothes always helps motivate me to workout and I only workout at home!0
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It really boils down to "how bad do you really want this?". Commitment and determination come from prioritizing what one REALLY wants over anything else. Once you've convinced yourself that that is what you really want to do, then it becomes much simpler to accomplish.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I lost and continue to lose weight very very slowly. When I started lifting weights at home it showed fast so that always gave me motivation. I eat very small but frequent meals, about in every 3-4 hours. I lose 1kg per 3 weeks if I keep my strict diet. It often looks like that I am stuck but when I check my calendar, I see that I lost some weight since last month. Eating protein shakes instead of having dinner helped the most.0
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