New and Nervous

Hello all,

I'm trying to lose about 40 lb, but slowly is fine with me as long as it's consistent. I'm afraid to tell anyone in my life that I am trying to lose weight, so I'm hoping that writing here will help. I would love to hear back from anyone. When I was younger I terribly skinny. It caused a lot of problems in my family and the idea of actually trying to lose weight was shameful (and still is, hence my nervousness). However, I became depressed in high school and I ended up gaining all the weight I lacked and then some mostly through binge-eating. Now I have been overweight for almost five years, and all I want is to be healthy. Thankfully, my relationship with food has been relatively normal for the past year or two, but I slightly overeat on a regular basis out of habit and I am very uncomfortable with feeling hungry (drilled into me throughout childhood). Sometimes I have a lighter day of food and then become so anxious because I am hungry at the end of the day that I overeat significantly right before bed. Other times I just eat bad food because it is available at my dad's house (I don't know why I do this, as I prefer the healthy food I buy). Another thing to add is that I have been vegetarian since I was six years old for ethical/animal reasons, and I have been vegan (even in the binges) through most of my adolescence and still today at 21 years old. I would say that at least 95% of what I eat is incredibly healthy (whole food, vegan, organic); I just eat too much of it too regularly. Mostly I just want to lose weight slowly and healthfully by cutting the frequent overeating and occasional junk food without starving myself, either. And I need to learn to exercise, too, which will be difficult with my leg injury and busy work schedule. But these things must happen because I could enjoy life so much more with a more healthy body. I know I will need the support of others to make this happen.

Here's to Day 2!

Lucia