How do you deal?

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For those of you that feel like you have too much on your plate...how the hell do you handle it? How do you cope? I work 2 jobs, and my bf has just started his own business in which I need to work at too. The house is a mess, dishes need to be done, clothes need to be washed. I'm exhausted. I leave home by 9 every morning and don't get home until 8pm or later every night. I just don't have the energy to do anything. I'm just so frustrated lately. I admit I'm being lazy today and just sitting around. I slept most of the day away, it's now 6:30 PM and I still have no motivation to do anything. I don't remember the last time we had sex, and I just feel like he's slipping away...I feel like I do so much, but it's still never enough...

Any advice? Sorry if this makes no sense, I'm trying but I just can't seem to focus enough to get the words to come out right...

Replies

  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
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    I know you don't have much time but if you can work in a little exercise, it may really make you feel less tired. I have the same problem and it does make me feel better when I make time to get moving. Can't say that I've taken that advice today, been on the couch all day : )
  • bipandora
    bipandora Posts: 19
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    I make time for myself... mental health days
  • sweetnshy
    sweetnshy Posts: 97
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    I usually take a 15 minute walk on my lunch break at work...sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I took the dog for a walk today..still no energy..Just overwhelmed...
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
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    I feel for you. Life can be so mental and stress is a direct route to chocolate. Find a routine in the chaos and just know that if you can get yourself to a place where you feel physically well then some of the other stuff falls into place.
  • Tigerfish62
    Tigerfish62 Posts: 26
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    Not telling you what to do, just giving advice. Take a shower, then have sex. It should energize you, (the shower and the sex). Sometimes you have to make yourself do things. After a short while, it becomes part of your routine. If the dishes bother you, do them. That simple. Housework is exercise. Mundane chores help relieve stress. You would be acomplishing two things at once. You are allowed to rest sometimes. Don't beat yourself up for doing it. Put me as a friend if you want. Good luck! Tigerfish
  • SugarNtheRaw
    SugarNtheRaw Posts: 191 Member
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    I have to make time for me. Or people die. I figure, the dishes will still be there, but the murder charges won't. I do whatever it takes, be it speaking to my sister for a few minutes, biking around the neighborhood, or cuddling one of my animals. It has to happen, or I become EVIL. :)
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    I subscribe to the idea that most housework can be avoided at source. Eg rinsing the sink and taps every time I clean my teeth means i never have to clean the sink, making sure I wash up as I cook means I never have a big pile to do, being careful and not splashing the cooker means I don't have to clean it often, I unload the tumble drier immediately so don't ever need to iron.

    Plus I have dropped my housework standards. Nobody has died yet.

    Also, if I do some seriousi exercise, it gives me heaps of energy, so during the limited time I do have, I get lots done - far more than I used to.
  • SassyStef
    SassyStef Posts: 413
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    OMG I totally understand...I am a sahm to my 2 yr old and I watch another little girl who is 3 four day of the week, and I have my own home business...and did I mention I all home school these to for preschool!!! AAAHHH LOL

    My husband works from 2-10pm but my day starts at 6am, and ends with one child at 5or 6ish then my own at 8pm if I am lucky. I take it day by day. One day I may clean a bathroom or dust, just small chores to keep up with the house, but one thing I have figured out in the last year is making a priority for myself and for prayer...seriously I get up at 6 because I wanna work out and I need that time to pray to god to give me the strength to get through my day with some patients LOL

    We can all slip away from out significants when life gets busy, that is when you need to make the time for 'us' my husband and I have just recently found ourselves slipping and we are back on the road to making that time.

    Enjoy yours days where you lay around the couch and do nothing, schedule those into your week!! I agree with the poster that said to get in a work out, maybe you and you BF can do it together, go for a walk or something.

    Take a deep breathe, and know that you are an amazing person and doing what you gotta do! :glasses:
  • veganhoneys
    veganhoneys Posts: 34
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    That's rough- I hope things get better for you. I try to do things for myself when I have time like call friends when I'm sitting in traffic or roll up my pants and "sunbathe" as I eat my lunch outside. Also when the chores pile up, I get one thing done each day and reward myself enormously. "There are dishes in the sink? Well you know the laundry is done and smells so nice though! The dishes can wait, I deserve to read my magazine after doing all that laundry!"
  • DonaGail
    DonaGail Posts: 190 Member
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    I totally understand, and yes it really is hard to stay motivated.
    I leave my house every morning at 6 and dont get home until 6 or 7 at night. Im
    usually exhausted too.
    I just wash dishes and straighten up before I leave for work and get gas on the way
    if I need it, I pack a lunch in the morning too, so I dont get tired and hungry while
    working and eat unhealthy stuff.
    Its amazing how much I can get done in 15 minutes when I have to!
    I run errands on the way home-extra groceries etc, because once Im home, the uniform comes off and Im
    worthless! If I get the dogs walked its a miracle!
    I try to have meals made up on the weekend so I dont have to think too much aboutit during the week,
    this is a huge help because I come home ravenous.
    I try to shop early Sat morning and immediatly cut clean and bag my fruit & veggies, I roast chicken and
    make meatloafs and things that can be warmed up.
    A lot of my Sundays are spent being lazy..I just recharge. Do the easy stuff like laundry.
    DO NOT feel bad when you do this, you need it!
    Sex? ha! whats that? Yes its hard to stay close when everyones tired and stressed. That part sucks.
    Good luck, I hope you figure out a system so youre not so stressed.
    D
  • Sesilje
    Sesilje Posts: 16 Member
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    Be careful, so you don't get a stress induced depression!

    It's ok to take it easy and not do anything for a day as long as you enjoy it. But don't wait for the motivation to come - if you feel that it's becoming a pattern that your time off is just wasted - try scheduling fun stuff in advance, and do them even if you don't feel like it.

    When both you and your boyfriend are super busy it's even more important to make sure you have time to connect with each other. That will give you both new energy to deal with the rest of your week. Try talking to him about this, an explain that you want to spend more time truly enjoying his company. Then sit down together and figure out how you can create some time each week that is just for the two of you. Even if it's just 30 mins it can still have a huge impact on your relationship and general wellbeing!
  • chattygirl2
    chattygirl2 Posts: 103
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    Girl, I know exactly how you feel!!!!! I was there, in slump feeling like crap, not caring, or even worrying about how bad things have gotten!! I went to go visit my cousin and she quoted "Gina used to be the skinny one!!" I just about cried!! Then it all came to me.......... I don't wanna be a big fat girl! ( not saying that you are). The 1st thing I did was raid my pantry!! I got rid of most of my stuff! The 2nd thing I did was get some flowers to plant, which made me get up and water them. So I made a pot of coffee and watered my plants, that I paid for. I hate to loose money...... I don't know if you like to cook but I do!! And I spent time researching EVERYTHING!!! There s tons of simple throw in the pan and bake recipes!! Next I planned out all my meals, snacks included!! I am determined to my old body back!! At least into a size 5!!!! I am only 4' 11"
    God luck to sweetie!!


    Add me!

    Gina
  • lallaloolly
    lallaloolly Posts: 228 Member
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    i know it seems hard when you're just getting started, but regular, vigorous exercise changes everything. if you make time for it 4,5,6 days a week, it will truly be the biggest gift you can give yourself.
    it provides you with "me time" when you can think about whatever you want to instead of whatever everyone else needs from you.
    it is like taking an upper every time you do it... it gives you so much energy. not to mention the fact that the endorphins which result from vigorous exercise lift your mood and make you more apt to handle stress and a heavy workload without it tearing you down so much.
    you will also sleep better with regular exercise, and you'll end up waking up with more energy, making you less apt to need to sit on the couch so much to recover from your day.
    our bodies are so adaptable, and can adjust to pretty much anything. what seems like a ton of effort at first will be something you look forwrad to. push yourself at first to get yourself going, and it won't be long before you crave your exercise time and won't let things come between you and it.