And just like that...

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arnold824
arnold824 Posts: 52
in Chit-Chat
It was a normal day in my CISCO class, our professor left us to read the modules for a while because she's doing some paperwork. While I was busy playing, I heard my friends behind me say something like "should we tell him?" then they would laugh and giggle but I didn't know that was directed to me. So my closest friend finally took a chair and sat beside me and our conversation went like:

Friend: You know that girl you liked so much
Me: Which one?
Friend: You know the "one"?
Me: Oh yeah! I was planning on getting her number after our defense so I could concentrate on that first
Friend: That's great! But uhmm well she's gay
Me: WHAT?!?!
Friend: You know "blank"? Her friend in the council?
Me: Yes, it's "blank" right?
Friend: Yeah well he told me and showed me pics of it
Friend: Hey "blank"! come here!
Blank: What?
(Blank sits in with us)
Friend: Tell me what you told us earlier
Blank: What's that? The one about "girl"?
Friend: Yeah
Blank: Why does it concern you so much? Oh and don't tell everybody this because she's gonna kill me and only a couple of people know this
Friend: Well you see this guy right here has a thing for her
Me: What? No! I was just curious about the news
Blank: Well I gotta go read the modules just don't tell everybody, You guys were just so persistent so I finally said it
Me: What the hell just happened?
Friend: (trying to hold his laughter) It's okay
Me: No it's not, dude seriously she's all I think about when doing this crazy diet and weight lifting routine
Friend: Hey it isn't your fault it's hers, we can't do anything
Me: She was the best inspiration I had, you did know I failed around 5-6 attempts and that was yearly
Friend: But look on the bright side
Me: What could possibly bright about this?
Friend: You kinda look better now, I think you should even buy a new uniform cause the ones you got on now looks big
Me: I need a new inspiration
Friend: Yeah I'll try looking for a couple of girls in fb and link them to you
Me: Thanks

Basically my mind went blank after I heard the news and I refused to let any information come in our out of it, I just completely locked my mind fearing I might think about her. I stared blankly for the last hours of class, during my trip home and even while lifting at home I was staring at the concrete.

So just like that, the girl I've been dreaming about was unfortunately a lesbian.

This should belong in the motivation and support but I think this problem is for me to figure out alone. I just wanted someone to hear my story.

Replies

  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    1) It sucks to find out you have no chance with her but you can still fantasize about her. No harm in that.

    2) Stop using other people as your motivation because, well, you've experienced the prime example of why that can be a bad idea. Do it for yourself so you're healthy and fit, not to impress some girl.

    And thank your buddy for the compliment. That was pretty nice of him!
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    That sucks but hey at least you know now. Not every person we like is going to like us back. It is life.
  • arnold824
    arnold824 Posts: 52
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    MinnieInMaine wrote: »
    1) It sucks to find out you have no chance with her but you can still fantasize about her. No harm in that.

    2) Stop using other people as your motivation because, well, you've experienced the prime example of why that can be a bad idea. Do it for yourself so you're healthy and fit, not to impress some girl.

    And thank your buddy for the compliment. That was pretty nice of him!

    Thanks, yeah my closest friend was not like my other friends, he would regularly say I improved and he's the one I could tell deep stuff too like this. I too got his back when he has troubles. At least I'm thankful for that.

    This girl was just amazing, I'm the kind of guy who likes girls who are smart and she was the perfect blend of smart and drop dead gorgeous. She had a smile that I could just look at all day and she doesn't have a bad attitude, she would smile and talk to anyone who'd talk to her probably the reason she was in our council. She's a hard worker which I find very appealing. Simply put she's the girl of my dreams, the one that made me get up my lazy *kitten*.

    After hearing the news it sent me into spiraling depression so after I took a shower earlier I grabbed my brother's camera and tripod and took a couple of photos and compared myself to my previous photos and felt happy, I remembered how I could climb up the stairs in our school without breaking a sweat, I took my pants and wore it and just walked around the house and I can see and feel how my legs and waist aren't stretching it. Then lastly I remembered every person who'd contributed to my weight loss journey either with material things or motivational support and felt that I achieved something.

    And I found another girl :) if she's smart, that remains to be seen. But personally looking back, I found my results to be the biggest motivation I had and now I'm pumped up to continue this weight loss program.
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    That sucks but hey at least you know now. Not every person we like is going to like us back. It is life.

    Thanks, after I found out the reason why we couldn't be together, my mind got completely blanked. I would've accepted it if she had a boyfriend, I mean who wouldn't want her, she's perfect. But knowing the reason isn't something for me to decide or wait out, it just hurts me so much since I've never liked a girl like this before.

    This prompted me to further pursue my studies to at least have a better future and maybe, just maybe, finally find the perfect girl working at the same company as I am.

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    arnold824 wrote: »
    MinnieInMaine wrote: »
    1) It sucks to find out you have no chance with her but you can still fantasize about her. No harm in that.

    2) Stop using other people as your motivation because, well, you've experienced the prime example of why that can be a bad idea. Do it for yourself so you're healthy and fit, not to impress some girl.

    And thank your buddy for the compliment. That was pretty nice of him!

    Thanks, yeah my closest friend was not like my other friends, he would regularly say I improved and he's the one I could tell deep stuff too like this. I too got his back when he has troubles. At least I'm thankful for that.

    This girl was just amazing, I'm the kind of guy who likes girls who are smart and she was the perfect blend of smart and drop dead gorgeous. She had a smile that I could just look at all day and she doesn't have a bad attitude, she would smile and talk to anyone who'd talk to her probably the reason she was in our council. She's a hard worker which I find very appealing. Simply put she's the girl of my dreams, the one that made me get up my lazy *kitten*.

    After hearing the news it sent me into spiraling depression so after I took a shower earlier I grabbed my brother's camera and tripod and took a couple of photos and compared myself to my previous photos and felt happy, I remembered how I could climb up the stairs in our school without breaking a sweat, I took my pants and wore it and just walked around the house and I can see and feel how my legs and waist aren't stretching it. Then lastly I remembered every person who'd contributed to my weight loss journey either with material things or motivational support and felt that I achieved something.

    And I found another girl :) if she's smart, that remains to be seen. But personally looking back, I found my results to be the biggest motivation I had and now I'm pumped up to continue this weight loss program.
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    That sucks but hey at least you know now. Not every person we like is going to like us back. It is life.

    Thanks, after I found out the reason why we couldn't be together, my mind got completely blanked. I would've accepted it if she had a boyfriend, I mean who wouldn't want her, she's perfect. But knowing the reason isn't something for me to decide or wait out, it just hurts me so much since I've never liked a girl like this before.

    This prompted me to further pursue my studies to at least have a better future and maybe, just maybe, finally find the perfect girl working at the same company as I am.

    One think I regret in life is waiting for someone. That will never happen again. I guess the way you look at it is positive. I advice you to also never wait for someone and never settle.

  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Sucks but there are other women out there! She could still be a great friend and an inspiration in that manner right?? just because there is no chance sexually shouldn't take her out of your life!
  • arnold824
    arnold824 Posts: 52
    edited November 2014
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    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    One think I regret in life is waiting for someone. That will never happen again. I guess the way you look at it is positive. I advice you to also never wait for someone and never settle.

    Thanks, I'm slowly trying to forget my feelings about her. I gotta be honest it's pretty hard though but I think in time it'll eventually pass.
    Spnneil06 wrote: »
    Sucks but there are other women out there! She could still be a great friend and an inspiration in that manner right?? just because there is no chance sexually shouldn't take her out of your life!

    Thanks, I did still had the idea of pursuing her as a friend but I'm afraid I'll just rekindle my feelings. Until all my feelings for her are gone, I guess I'll have to lay low for a while :smile:

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    arnold824 wrote: »
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    One think I regret in life is waiting for someone. That will never happen again. I guess the way you look at it is positive. I advice you to also never wait for someone and never settle.

    Thanks, I'm slowly trying to forget my feelings about her. I gotta be honest it's pretty hard though but I think in time it'll eventually pass.
    Spnneil06 wrote: »
    Sucks but there are other women out there! She could still be a great friend and an inspiration in that manner right?? just because there is no chance sexually shouldn't take her out of your life!

    Thanks, I did still had the idea of pursuing her as a friend but I'm afraid I'll just rekindle my feelings. Until all my feelings for her are gone, I guess I'll have to lay low for a while :smile:


    I have the same motivation. Women. I know the feeling. I sure a lot of people know the feeling.
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
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    You'll never get to be a CCIE if you spend class pining over women. Focus on the class, get the cert, and then you'll have enough money to get all the women.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Is it possible that she is bisexual. A lot of people assumed I was a lesbian because I dated girls. But, I am bisexual. My husband thought I was a lesbian at first. And now we have been together for 16 years. Some people were very surprised when they found out I was engaged to a man.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,400 Member
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    The OP is deactivated
    however, if he comes back, I noticed that he kept saying that he was devastated because "she was perfect for me". Nobody is perfect. You know and accept another's flaws (as they do yours), because we all have them. I've been married almost 30 years, and my flaws have not gone away, neither have my husband's. We love each other just the same. Hope the OP finds another, and doesn't see her through rose tinted glasses. Best. :)
  • arnold824
    arnold824 Posts: 52
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    EddieHaskell97 wrote: »
    You'll never get to be a CCIE if you spend class pining over women. Focus on the class, get the cert, and then you'll have enough money to get all the women.

    My field of expertise is actually 3d modelling and animation :smile: when I said I was playing, what I was doing was creating still shots in paint and animating them. But you're right! same principles apply regardless of the skill. I really wanted to try and have a relationship while I'm at college since I haven't had a single relationship before, I'm not using her as an experience though, I'm really really interested in her because for years she's the only one who made me rethink about my life. I'm not sacrificing my studies, in fact I'm more interested in it because she's a graphic designer and I think we'll make a perfect team.

    BinaryPulsar wrote: »
    Is it possible that she is bisexual. A lot of people assumed I was a lesbian because I dated girls. But, I am bisexual. My husband thought I was a lesbian at first. And now we have been together for 16 years. Some people were very surprised when they found out I was engaged to a man.

    My friend actually volunteered to find more details about her :smiley:. And I really think she's bisexual too as I heard "rumors" she had a boyfriend and now I'm kinda thinking she was with that woman so boys would stop chasing her. My friend even joked about unlocking her sexuality and I should do it for our future children :smile:.

    buckshot500 wrote: »
    I feel your pain. Sometimes crushes are really hard to get past. Especially if you see that person all the time. Crushes can last for years. Just be glad you aren't married, that would make things even worse for you.

    Yeah, I had a bunch of crushes back while at high school and I think those were clearly lusts. Now, however, I've thought about her deeply. I haven't even had the thought of touching her, I would imagine us hanging out watching and playing video games and I would in turn, help her shopping and doing her girl stuff.
    snowflake954 wrote: »
    The OP is deactivated
    however, if he comes back, I noticed that he kept saying that he was devastated because "she was perfect for me". Nobody is perfect. You know and accept another's flaws (as they do yours), because we all have them. I've been married almost 30 years, and my flaws have not gone away, neither have my husband's. We love each other just the same. Hope the OP finds another, and doesn't see her through rose tinted glasses. Best. :)

    Yeah, I kinda let this thread go since it was around at page 3 or 4 already and I doubt people still look at those pages but I'm glad you had the time to read my story. I kinda figured she's not all I expected her to be but so far she's the number one on my book and to find out who she really is, I need to dig a little bit deeper but sadly to do that I need to have a relationship with her :neutral_face:.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,400 Member
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    You know, if she means that much to you, keep trying. One day you'll wonder what would have happened if you did. Only you can find out the truth here. Be prepared, but it's true that you need courage, and in the future you'll at least know that you gave it your best shot. Wishing you luck. :)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    losing weight for someone else is never a good idea... even if she wasnt a rug muncher whats to say you would have had a chance anyway?
  • arnold824
    arnold824 Posts: 52
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    snowflake954 wrote: »
    You know, if she means that much to you, keep trying. One day you'll wonder what would have happened if you did. Only you can find out the truth here. Be prepared, but it's true that you need courage, and in the future you'll at least know that you gave it your best shot. Wishing you luck. :)
    Thanks! I'm really trying to do everything I can to make myself look presentable and I want my confidence pumped up because I only have this one chance on getting her attention and I would like to look at my best.
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    losing weight for someone else is never a good idea... even if she wasnt a rug muncher whats to say you would have had a chance anyway?
    That's the fun of it :smile: , I'm totally excited on finding out for myself but I still don't have the confidence at the moment. I'm doing everything I can so I could build it up and thus the result is my diet program. If ever it doesn't work out the way I wanted, I'll still have my results and I can try it on other people.

    If ever it doesn't work out I'm still happy that she became my inspiration to continue this because I know for a fact if my inspiration were my previous ones, I think I'm gonna fail. She's the one who made me continue this and I would be forever grateful and I would never ever regret this decision as falling for her was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    The heck, I don't remember clicking this topic, but yet it's telling me that I did??

    ANYWAY, do it for you, not for someone else.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I'm sure she is dating the girl for no reason other than she likes girls. You can probably understand what she likes about them. :wink:
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
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    Hmmm reality ruined yor fantasy. Sounds like life lol. Don't worry I'm sure new inspiration will walk by soon enough

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