I should not feel like a failure, am I alone?

joyfoolous · May 2011

I need to get my life on track. I am the largest one in my family, as well as the majority of my friends, I am an emotional eater and I try to diet but then I get upset and eat my feelings. And when I eat my feelings I gain weight and get more upset, work off the few pounds to return back but then the cycle repeats....

With a high stress lifestyle, and a problem of sleeping apropriatly, I really need friends here to push me and motivation to complete my goal!

My boyfriend does try to "motivate me" but his motivation makes me more upset or insulted, especially while he eats whatever he wants in front of me and talks of how thin other girls are. I have tried to tell him but he does not get it because when he feels like a failure he changes, when I feel like one I say maybe you are right then EAT My family and friends tell me I am fine, but I konw I am not...

With my new car payment it is hard to keep up buying healthier foods, since i bounce around from place to place a lot it is also hard to know if I will eat it in time, or if the constant strean of visitors will before I get a chance. On top of this, I love to cook but I never hav the time to make nice meals for myself.

I am so miserable that I gained three pounds and am having sleeping problems again....and I could not excersize all week due to getting my wisdom teeth pulled.

I need help, friends, and healthy support/motivation PLEASE!!! Keep me coming back!

JennaLee1486 · May 2011

I think you need to focus on what YOU want. Forget what your family and friends think and stop imagining what they "must be" thinking. I know I would sit there and wonder if everyone else thought I was fat. What matters is what you think. If you feel you need to lose weight, then do it for you.

You are always going to have challenges and setbacks. Unfortunately, a boyfriend who can eat anything without gaining a pound is something a lot of us face! It's not realistic to expect your boyfriend to not eat in front of you. There are certain foods that I absolutely can't resist and when my boyfriend & I buy them at the grocery store I ask him to take them to work so I can't be tempted. Remember that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. That's what keeps me going!!!

joyfoolous · May 2011

thank you, unfortanatually, he HAS gained weight, 30lbs, but he has it in his head that he can still do whatever because he was in the lower "normal" range, though now he is in the upper normal. It isnt like I constantly wonder what pther people think, it all is really about what I am thinking here, I stopped talking about my weight witrh my family, and he is pretty much stopped trying except for the occasional few-day spurts, now they are comments about "how much I consume" when most of what he is talking about is the amount of WATER i drink.....but he was so hard on me for so long that these thoughts are in my head, before I never saw other girls and thought "I should look like that, I sohuld work out like that" but now I do....and it KILLS me:/

mrosario05 · May 2011

Hello,

I just read your post and I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have constantly felt the way that you feel now. I will try to keep on track with working out, eating right and so on. One day when I don't go to the gym turns into two days then I stop going all together because it would be that time on the month and I feel lifeless. They I gain the weight back that I work so hard to keep off and then I get mad at myself too. There are some days that I just feel so depressed.

I also can relate when you said that your boyfriend trys to motivate you. Mine does the same, however they have to understand that when we feel like a failure we want to curl up in a ball and eat our sorrows away, while they want to do anything they can to change themselves.

What I have learned is that I am on this journey to make myself happy. I make better choices eating, dedicating myself to workout at least four times a week and enjoy life. Try not to stress about things that we can't change andlove yourself. Also, I have learned not to be too hard on yourself. If you cheat one day and eat something that was really bad, just remember the next day is a brand new start and know that you are not a failure. I came on here so that I can be motivated by others as well.

Take care of yourself

joyfoolous · May 2011

Awwww, thank you marosario, that made me feel a lot better

I am glad I am not the only one, because you pretty much described me
and I wish men could understand our brains!

maryhappy456 · May 2011

I feel the exact same way...I am a dancer and have been under a lot of pressure lately to lose weight. I also have a ton of pressure from school and difficult things in life. I am definitely a perfectionist. I constantly feel like a failure. I feel like I am worthless, and have nothing to offer, especially when I can't keep my eating under control. I have been binging a lot lately and feeling really terrible...I guess there's hope.

ziggle_7 · May 2011

i know exacly how you feel. i've always struggled with my weight and im also an emotional eater. Ever since i was a little kid ive had weigt issues and got teased to know end all throughout school. Im super self concious and hated myself for a long time because of all the hurtful things kids used to call me. the truth is you need to surround yourself with motivation not negativity. This site is a great source of motivation but also maybe find a quote that motivates you and tape it too your mirror or maybe a an outfit you really want to get into. Everyday try and think about 10 things about yourself that you like. I was completely depressed for years and hated myself because of what people said about me and too me about my weight. Now things are getting better tho.

i'm only beginning my weight loss journey but i have faith in myself now. it took a long way to change my thinking and there is still alot about my body that i hate but there are ways to help change your way of thinking.

come up with a motivational quote that make you feel strong and tell yourself it constantly.
meditation is also very good and when you get upset, talk to someone about it instead of eating. trust me it'll make u feel alot better in the end and itll save you a few extra pounds.

I wish u luck in your weight loss and i believe you can do!
you can add me if you want.

Jorra · May 2011

I am here for you girl! I completely understand what you are going through. I've always been the biggest of my friends. Before I started MFP, my boyfriend always used to make remarks like, "Whatever happened to the promise you made about losing weight?" Not helpful. Now he supports me but constantly stress eats milkshakes and burgers like the world is ending. He's also always pressuring me to "treat myself" once in a while (all the time).

I am completely with you with the money troubles too. My entire paycheck goes towards bills with my fiancee only having a few hundred left after all the rest. It's difficult to eat healthy at home when he only wants to buy ice cream and instant rice.

We are in this together, no matter what anyone says!!

knetterk · May 2011

So, you have been with mfp since 3/2010? Well, I joined a month ago or so and I can confidently say, If anyone can give support, it is this place here! You have every right to have those days where you feel down, stuck or plain just BLAH! We are humans and we will NEVER be perfect. At the end of the day it does not matter or make a difference what your boyfriend or family think/says... it's all you girl! I sometimes find 'self help' books (I think that's what there called anyway:) to either guide or maybe just help me understand that I am not alone in whatever situation I am struggling with. I found this CD the other day (I also have issues with sleep) and I remember I used to listen to it at night, it was a meditating coach or something.. Really soothing voice and waves and sounds in the back round.. really mellowed me out and everything else that day had just gone on the back burner:0) Unfortunately it was ruined because I left it near water too long, but it reminded me I need to get another one! My little 4 year old loved it too!
You will get through this and with life..... it will come again. Do not get discouraged!! You have a choice, either change what you don't like or if you can't change it, find ways to accept it! Best wishes:)

knetterk · May 2011

So, you have been with mfp since 3/2010? Well, I joined a month ago or so and I can confidently say, If anyone can give support, it is this place here! You have every right to have those days where you feel down, stuck or plain just BLAH! We are humans and we will NEVER be perfect. At the end of the day it does not matter or make a difference what your boyfriend or family think/says... it's all you girl! I sometimes find 'self help' books (I think that's what there called anyway:) to either guide or maybe just help me understand that I am not alone in whatever situation I am struggling with. I found this CD the other day (I also have issues with sleep) and I remember I used to listen to it at night, it was a meditating coach or something.. Really soothing voice and waves and sounds in the back round.. really mellowed me out and everything else that day had just gone on the back burner:0) Unfortunately it was ruined because I left it near water too long, but it reminded me I need to get another one! My little 4 year old loved it too!
You will get through this and with life..... it will come again. Do not get discouraged!! You have a choice, either change what you don't like or if you can't change it, find ways to accept it! Best wishes:)

joyfoolous · May 2011

I have been with mfp since 2010 but I am only just gettin ginto it again, FOR GOOD THIS TIME! thank you for your words

I should not feel like a failure, am I alone?

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