I am afraid

As long as you don't try any bizarre fad diets, you CAN NOT BE WORSE OFF. I fail all the time, but because I keep trying I am BETTER than before. If I didn't keep trying I would be even fatter and have an even harder time keeping up with the things I want to do.

Most studies recommend wading in the shallow end. Set one nutrition goal and one fitness goal for this week (ie, eat five veg a day and do 5 minutes of exercise a day).

Also, since this seems to be tied in with your emotions about your father's death, I suggest you seek therapy. Dealing with emotional issues will help you deal with the weight issues, especially the overeating.

you don't have to do it all right away. make small changes and watch them add up. i lost the majority of my weight simply dropping junk food and committing to walk everywhere i go instead of take the bus.

umm, anyway, i totally get the anxiety thing. add me if you want, i'm lazy and i don't always eat the best but i sympathize with your situation.

You have taken a step in the right direction. Simply making the decision to attempt to eat healthier is a step in the right direction. I have been on this journey for a while, taking detours along the way. I am an emotional/stress eater, so it has been a struggle off and on. I suggest that you do what others have said, and start in the wading pool, taking mini-steps along the way. Realize that you may hit a bump along the way. But do not let that stop you from continuing. My family does not understand my need to eat healthier than they do, so I am on my own many times over at home. But, you can/will find support here. One note to keep in mind that although most people on MFP are awesome, there are some that can be mean spirited; and there are some people who simply do not know how to say things without being obnoxious or rude; and there are people who are well-meaning, yet may say something that hurts your feelings. If you experience that, please do not let it defer you from coming back here.

Keep your chin up! You can and will do it. I was a popaholic, and I have not had one for over two or three months now. I switched to iced tea, replacing it for a pop at least twice per week, and then three or four times per week, and now I am not drinking it at all. I do crave it at times, especially when I see it in my fridge because my family has it; but I have control over it. You will, too, be able to gain control over whatever your weeknesses are, one weakness at a time. This is not a speed race, this is a slow and steady race, yet there may be some detours to experience and work through. And.... exercise is very important.... even if you can only walk for 5 minutes. You will be able to work out longer and longer. You can/will do it.

Please friend me should you want to. I am not good at posting everyday.... in fact, I am on MFP again just in the past couple of weeks; but first joined in 2011 or 2012. I wish you success for your health and well being.

I totally get it. I spent a lot of time thinking just as you are. Then I got out of my own head and just did it. Much simpler.

When you want to learn to swim you don't jump in the deep end from the start. You wade in and slowly learn how to swim so you don't drown. Slowly begin making changes in how you eat, and slowly incorporate simple exercises like walking. Making a complete change instantly is what will make you want to quit too quickly. I'll send a friend request if you would like to add me as a friend. :flowerforyou:

As Nike says...just do it
Take it in small steps, and they all add up. Eat more healthily, start some exercise and build up. You'll start noticing changes and feel more motivated. You've got nothing to lose (except weight)!

I'm having to lose again due to pregnancy, but I'm just getting on with it, and nearly 7 months post partum I'm glad I dragged my tired self to the gym when my baby was 6.5 weeks old. I felt huge for ages, but all of a sudden I see the weight is going and I'm fitting into more and more old clothes.

The only true failure is giving up.

No one is perfect. We all have days where we mess up. The key to success is forgiving yourself and getting back on track the next day. Recognizing that I will never be a "perfect dieter" really was the key for me to have the success that I've had. Understanding that I will mess up sometimes and just moving on and keeping on trying has led me to lose more weight than I ever have before and be in the best shape of my life (it's cliche, but true).

You just have to start. And keep trying.

Hi failure is different for everyone I don't look at it as failure but a lesson how to succeed in the future, do I eat chocolate? sure I do , do I enjoy a party? yes these are not failures these are life and you will have days you win the battle and days you haven't won yet but be positive make a plan and you can do this!!!!
Failure for me is death as once you do this theres no rectifying it so as long as no one died its fixable.

My dad passed away recently from terminal cancer his lifestyle was awful heavy smoker drinker and the only thing bright coloured he ate were sweets. Im not saying he wouldn't have got cancer but he might have fought it had he been stronger and healthier so all you can do is try and be the best strongest you that you can be and as long as you do your best that's not failure.

Weight loss is a major undertaking. I don't blame you for thinking long and hard. I learned from my therapist that a mental trap we can get in to is "all or nothing thinking". It is usually associated with depression and anxiety disorders, but I think it relates well to a lot of the feelings we have on a weight loss journey. There's plenty of ups and downs, and one can wonder if it will all be worthwhile.

http://panicdisorder.about.com/od/livingwithpd/tp/All-Or-Nothing-Thinking.htm

I have a short story to help remember about 'targets' being helpful, not just because you could tick them off completely but ALSO because if you aim high, you're more likely to get to halfway. And actually, getting to halfway is more than enough!

So apparently for the pirates movies, johnny depp wanted a certain number of gold fillings for the role, but he knew the director wouldn't like it. So he got his dentist to put in many more than he really wanted.... the director then made him take some out, so he ended up with the perfect amount that he actually wanted in the first place.

I hope that makes sense ha.

Welcome! Just jump in... we all have fears and obstacles, schedules etc... it sounds like you came to MFP and you posted your comment because something in you is more afraid not to start.

I have caused some damage through some of my habits in the past and have issues such as acid reflux which seems to make me extremely susceptible to colds. Diabetes runs in my family and I am trying to stay out of the diabetic zone. Those are some of mine, in addition to my kids/family.

All I am saying is jump in and get started! But that doesn't have to mean living in the gym - maybe it means you are walking more, getting outside - maybe it's bike riding.

Sometimes I would get breaking bad episodes for my phone and watch them on the exercise bike - that way I wasn't thinking about the exercise...

I also would go to the gym at off hours when less people were there because I am more private about exercise and I do not like to feel it's a competition.

Not sure if that helps, but Good luck! Feel free to add me.

Almost everyone who's had a significant amount of weight to lose has had some similar fears. And everyone here is right, just take it slowly and make changes that will impact your health for good. Once you see it working, pick another goal, and another.

None of us ended up being overweight by waking up one morning and being X lbs heavier. It was a series of less-than-healthy choices, day in and day out, year after year that got us into unhealthy places. Now, it's time to reverse the choices and make them healthy ones, day in and day out, year after year.

Watching my beloved mother become very overweight and seeing her loss of mobility because of her weight was one of the motivating factors for me to get moving and get healthy. No more excuses, no more thinking that "I'm just like her." Over one year later at 53 years old, and I'm down 48 pounds. Only eight more until my goal weight, but I'm already at my fitness goal. I can run again (six miles this weekend), I'm lifting weights, walking briskly every day, and just generally feeling like my younger self again.

I'm an impatient person by nature, but my determination to get healthy has tempered that. To do it right and to stay with it, your mindset has to be in it for the long haul. As long as you make more healthy decisions than you do unhealthy ones, you will see change, you will feel better, and as a result, you will want to/be able to make even better choices. It's a great cycle to be caught up in!!

Good luck, don't let your fears stop you from becoming the person you want to be, and never, ever give up!!