Thanksgiving at a new family's. Help me come up with excuses?

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bulbadoof
bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
edited November 2014 in Motivation and Support
I've lost 120 lbs and kept it off for years. My family frequently comes to me for diet and exercise advice. They also don't get offended if I don't try the creamy side dishes or leave my pie crust uneaten. I'm nervous to be a guest at someone else's for Thanksgiving this year. I'm still nowhere near a small girl; if I don't eat much around people who don't know about how big I used to be, I worry I'll be implying I don't like what they cooked.

I am not looking for motivation to help me AVOID excessive food, I've got that part down. I just want to make a good impression and not hurt any feelings. Should I take the hit and have a bit of everything? (I don't wanna. :( Big meals make me nauseous.) Use the lame "I had a big lunch" cop-out? (I feel like that doesn't work at holiday dinners because you know damn well they're happening in advance and you've probably been there since 3) Explain that I'm currently working to lose weight and be bombarded with unsolicited advice from people who have no idea what I've already accomplished? (I hate being the center of attention, I would really rather prefer not to do this.)

Any solutions?
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Replies

  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
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    My bf's family knows I'm calorie counting and losing weight, and he had lost about 70lbs prior to us dating, so they *know* but still are food pushers. I find honestly is always the best policy with them:

    Just say something like "I've worked hard to lose a lot of weight, and I'm still working. I appreciate the effort you put into this meal and am grateful to be included, but I have eaten what I am comfortable with. I'm also not too comfortable talking about it, as it's been a very tough and personal process. Thank you so much for understanding".

    If you thank them for understanding before letting them respond, in my experiences it's made people back off a bit more.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I just say: "I'm pacing myself."
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    4. Put on your plate what you like, avoid what you don't, and keep your mouth shut.

    Don't make a big deal out of it and most people won't even notice. If somebody does just tell them you're taking your time and enjoying the good food right on your plate at that moment.
  • Wronkletoad
    Wronkletoad Posts: 368 Member
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    I just want to make a good impression and not hurt any feelings.

    they should be thinking exactly the same thing, so it shouldn't be a problem for you.

    NOW: understanding life doen't work that way, and you're right and smart for being proactive, what the people above are saying.

    Sabine - your quote echoes what Bill Murray's character says in the beginning part of the movie "Stripes". love it!
  • FlatWet
    FlatWet Posts: 109 Member
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    Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
    I just say: "I'm pacing myself."

    I think this is a pretty perfect thing to say. It doesn't really spark conversation, but it totally shows that you are enjoying the meal, without forcing you to eat more to prove it.

  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    tell them you are saving room for seconds, or tell them you'll try that thing on your next plate.

    however, both should be true. try some of everything!! it's one day a year.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    do this OP...........Put some dinner on your plate, esp the turkey, the white meat, and some sweet potatoes, if the dont have all the sugary topping......then talk and take small bites, and ask for a doggy bag.......

    what a compliment to the chef.........you want to take it home because is so good

    then , ...........do what you want when you hit your house....ie, Let Rover enjoy Turkey day as well..............

    they will end up asking you back again..............
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Iwishyouwell wrote: »
    4. Put on your plate what you like, avoid what you don't, and keep your mouth shut.

    Don't make a big deal out of it and most people won't even notice. If somebody does just tell them you're taking your time and enjoying the good food right on your plate at that moment.

    This!

    Also, if you are going to a significant other's house ask them to talk to their family about not pressuring you. When I'm going to do something that I know is going to piss off my mother-in-law I always ask my husband to talk to him mom first since he can do no wrong in her eyes.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Begin as you intend to go on. In other words, take what you want and don't offer explanations or excuses unless you intend to continue doing that for the life of your relationship with these people.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
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    I usually say "I had an upset stomach this morning so I'm taking it easy"

  • nomad1000
    nomad1000 Posts: 206 Member
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    I know these may sound like a dumb questions but why do you have to say anything and why do you feel like you have to try/eat some of everything that is served? Heck, I don't even eat some of everything at the TG dinner I host at my own house. Some because I just don't like it and my guests do - like the godawful cream of crap green bean casserole - and some because I would rather save my cals for something I do enjoy - like skipping the gravy so I can have more dessert.

    Just get what you want and eat that. If anyone is rude enough to inquire why you aren't eating X or Y, just say that you are good with what you have and that if you want something more, you will get it. Not excuses. Once the excuses start, you will end up making excuses every time.
  • FitFroglet
    FitFroglet Posts: 219 Member
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    A good way of indicating you're really enjoying what you're eating is asking for the recipe - you can have a small serving of it, say how much you enjoy it and ask for the recipe, saying you'd like to be able to make it at home.

    Or you could explain that you don't have a big appetite before sitting down to eat so the cook understands that it's not personal and no reflection of their skill.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Just eat what you want. I don't think anyone will make your plate for yourself. I'm not planning on having any stuffing, for example (the calories are not worth it to me) and I don't think anyone will even notice.
  • julzwild
    julzwild Posts: 42 Member
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    Who looks at other people's plates and comments on what's left (or not left)? Do people really do this? Especially to a guest? Do what you know is right for your body and don't worry. Like someone else said, I'm sure they'll be trying to impress you too! Maybe you can take small portions (or a sliver of pie, claiming fullness) and that way you can clean your plate. I'm sorry you have to stress about this.
  • lindainprogress
    lindainprogress Posts: 129 Member
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    shadowofender wrote: »
    My bf's family knows I'm calorie counting and losing weight, and he had lost about 70lbs prior to us dating, so they *know* but still are food pushers. I find honestly is always the best policy with them:

    Just say something like "I've worked hard to lose a lot of weight, and I'm still working. I appreciate the effort you put into this meal and am grateful to be included, but I have eaten what I am comfortable with. I'm also not too comfortable talking about it, as it's been a very tough and personal process. Thank you so much for understanding".

    If you thank them for understanding before letting them respond, in my experiences it's made people back off a bit more.

    this is perfect. it is polite, gracious, gives a little information,sets boundries and also has ends that particular conversation thread. love it
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I wouldn't say anything and just put what you want on your plate. Compliment the foods you try.

    If pressed, you could say, "It all looks delicious! I wish I could try everything. Unfortunately, I really start to feel sick if I eat too much at once so I have to stop with this amount though. I'm really going to enjoy this turkey, etc. Have you finished your Christmas shopping? Blah blah blah different subject."
  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
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    Iwishyouwell wrote: »
    4. Put on your plate what you like, avoid what you don't, and keep your mouth shut.

    Don't make a big deal out of it and most people won't even notice. If somebody does just tell them you're taking your time and enjoying the good food right on your plate at that moment.

    This. I only get what I want to eat & couldn't careless what other people think.
  • BlueEyedRedhead
    BlueEyedRedhead Posts: 5,169 Member
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    I was going to suggest the same thing as Sabine... I use that line a lot... Just say "I'm pacing myself" and that usually appeases them.
    Good luck! :)
  • jim180155
    jim180155 Posts: 769 Member
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    Iwishyouwell wrote: »
    4. Put on your plate what you like, avoid what you don't, and keep your mouth shut.

    Don't make a big deal out of it and most people won't even notice. If somebody does just tell them you're taking your time and enjoying the good food right on your plate at that moment.

    I think this is the best approach. If someone does comment, you could just say "That looks (smells) so good I would definitely have some if I wasn't watching calories."

    Either way, people above have offered good advice. Just to make sure you have other not-so-good advice I'll offer a few other possible responses . . .

    1. I wonder what kind of life that turkey lived before it was slaughtered merely for our pleasure.
    2. Is that a hair in that bowl?
    3. Have you ever seen what cranberry sauce does to teeth over time?
    4. Was that stuffing up the turkey's as5?
    5. I love corn. I like to count the kernels in the toilet the next morning.
    6. If I ate all that food my belly would look like yours.
    7. What, no ham? I was told there was going to be ham. Now I'm going to have to stop off somewhere on the way home to get some real food. In the meantime I'd rather not stuff myself with this crap.
    8. No thanks. I've had food poisoning before.
  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
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    jim180155 wrote: »
    Iwishyouwell wrote: »
    4. Put on your plate what you like, avoid what you don't, and keep your mouth shut.

    Don't make a big deal out of it and most people won't even notice. If somebody does just tell them you're taking your time and enjoying the good food right on your plate at that moment.

    I think this is the best approach. If someone does comment, you could just say "That looks (smells) so good I would definitely have some if I wasn't watching calories."

    Either way, people above have offered good advice. Just to make sure you have other not-so-good advice I'll offer a few other possible responses . . .

    1. I wonder what kind of life that turkey lived before it was slaughtered merely for our pleasure.
    2. Is that a hair in that bowl?
    3. Have you ever seen what cranberry sauce does to teeth over time?
    4. Was that stuffing up the turkey's as5?
    5. I love corn. I like to count the kernels in the toilet the next morning.
    6. If I ate all that food my belly would look like yours.
    7. What, no ham? I was told there was going to be ham. Now I'm going to have to stop off somewhere on the way home to get some real food. In the meantime I'd rather not stuff myself with this crap.
    8. No thanks. I've had food poisoning before.

    LMAO! Five hilarious.

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