Am I unlovable because I am fat?

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  • Yarrum84
    Yarrum84 Posts: 57 Member
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    If I were you, I'd be feeling very sorry for that mother and child!

    This mother obviously has a problem with her own weight, and sadly, her child can see that, and will grow up the same. Children can pick up on things. (Saying that, my daughter is 7 and the other week I was doing a diet and she was so helpful and great with it, but I'd rather she didn't know I was dieting, just healthy eating)
    I bet she's unhappy with herself, she'll probably be a bit insecure too.

    I've met lovely overweight people and lovely skinny people, I've also met horrible and mean people both skinny and large. Anyone can be loveable depending on their personality.

    If this was a dig at you, I'd just laugh it off, there isn't much you can do apart from wish that she gains 10stone lol ;)
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Believe it or not, it is My experience that the people who have the most problems with overweight/obese people are those that have lost weight a good amt of wt or those that are challenged all the time to keep their weight down and are freaks about their eating (obsessed with food, eating, exercise), they seem to "project" on people because of "fear" and intolerance. You even see it on MFP and other wt loss sites, in gyms, everywhere. I have been even called Value Meal (VM) by someone who had to have WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY to lose weight. I have even seen "overweight/plump" people say to someone else, "Do I look like that?" and others who laugh. They want affirmation that THEY are ok, others want to deflect eyes off of them...all are insecure/low self esteem.
  • bloombabe26
    bloombabe26 Posts: 2
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    If I were you, I'd be feeling very sorry for that mother and child!

    This mother obviously has a problem with her own weight, and sadly, her child can see that, and will grow up the same. Children can pick up on things. (Saying that, my daughter is 7 and the other week I was doing a diet and she was so helpful and great with it, but I'd rather she didn't know I was dieting, just healthy eating)
    I bet she's unhappy with herself, she'll probably be a bit insecure too.

    I've met lovely overweight people and lovely skinny people, I've also met horrible and mean people both skinny and large. Anyone can be loveable depending on their personality.

    If this was a dig at you, I'd just laugh it off, there isn't much you can do apart from wish that she gains 10stone lol ;)



    I think children should be taught from an early age HEALTHY eating habits, I stress "healthy" because you want them to feel good about themselves. Learning to eat healthy foods, being relatively active, and spending time with family leads to a better lifestyle for the whole gang. BUT treats in moderation are okay and they shouldn't starve themselves for other people. Give them the tools they need and they will strive! Being like that mother? Pfft, that is a whole other plane of nonsense. My mother would have walked up to her and said something. I was always a little on the large side growing up and my mom was always thin, but she always told me how gorgeous I was and to see that no matter what everyone is beautiful. Its unfortunate the rest of the world might not see it that way :\
  • annabell136
    annabell136 Posts: 9
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    I wish I could say that the optimistic posts were a possibility but unfortunately I know this woman too well.
  • annabell136
    annabell136 Posts: 9
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    Umm... is it possible that there's context to the conversation that you just didn't overhear? Like as in, maybe the child was expressing this kind of sentiment to his mom, so she was turning it back the other way as a teaching moment, so that her child would realize that weight isn't a basis for love? :huh:

    No unfortunately not. Knowing this person the way I do, this is how she feels. Plus I have no doubt that part of why the conversation even happened was so she could slam me. This is just one of many things she has done to try and make me feel bad, this one just happened to sting a little more.
  • hollybaker22
    hollybaker22 Posts: 4
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    Wow, let's see...That is about as offensive as being asked when i was due - WHEN I WAS NOT EXPECTING AT ALL!! Society still condones the skinny unhealthy looking models, and vanity is our biggest enemy. So much about peoples worth is placed upon how they look. Have once weighed 235 pounds and now weigh just over 115 can tell you first hand that for many people, looks do matter and sometimes more than what is inside. It saddens me to get attention now (unwanted), when all I did want when i was heavier was to feel accepted.

    You are not unlovable because you are fat! These people who have those type of conversations with their kids are keeping the cycle going of making those of us who do need to lose feel inadequate to suite their own validation. People who judge by those standards, truly are not capable of being loved because in reality they probably do not even love themselves.

    Keep your faith, keep your head held high. At least you have your dignity and respect for all humans, not just those who are pretty on the outside. This is what makes you pretty on both the inside AND the outside. :-)

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