Sabatager in the house

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Buff2022
Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
in Motivation and Support
Now I have been really working hard for the last month. I have lost weight and got into smaller pants. I feel much better. I am glad that I am taking time out and doing things for me. I am spending these cold Wisconsin winter days and nights. Doing what makes me feel better. Gym an eating better.

But I find it very interesting that my friend is 100% a sabatoger (sorry my spelling is so bad) She has her own food issues but I am amazed that she is always doing something to encourage me to eat bad. Today she is like oh I made those bars you like. I have come home to find candy on the chair for me.

Frustrating and I don't say anything only because she has her own food problems. But I find it funny because she is stick thin.

Just wanted to vent.

Replies

  • pirate_john_75
    pirate_john_75 Posts: 96 Member
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    Have you had a serious heart-to-heart with that friend to tell her that you need for her to stop doing these things? Doesn't sound like very much of a friend to me if she knows that you need support but she is intentionally sabotaging you.
  • JazzFischer1989
    JazzFischer1989 Posts: 531 Member
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    You can still have the foods you like and continue to lose weight as long as you make it fit into your calorie goals.

    But if your friend is doing this specifically to "sabotage" you, maybe you should tell her how you feel and ask her to be more supportive. Ultimately, it's your responsibility to make good choices.
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
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    Agree with you both. I have no issues, I leave the food alone.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Is it possible you are just being paranoid or projecting your frustration at not being able to eat like her, on her? Because honestly, that's what it sounds like.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
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    congrats on your weight loss ...... as far as your friend, just say "no, thanks" ..... or throw the stuff in the garbage ..... good luck !
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
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    Consider it a test of your mettle! The first world is full of food and you will come across lots of temptation and you need to be equipped to handle it.
  • obscuremusicreference
    obscuremusicreference Posts: 1,320 Member
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    It's funny how someone can go months or years without bringing you home-baked goodies or candy and suddenly decide you might like a little something. I don't have any solutions other than to get the food away from you as soon as possible so you don't start thinking about it. And think about your successes to date.

    ps "Saboteur"
  • Krikit34
    Krikit34 Posts: 125 Member
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    Is it possible she is just doing what she's always done and that previously you would have been thankful for and indulged in those treats? I know that's what happened with my DH when I started. He was just being the same sweet guy, doing the same sweet things. I'm the one who changed what I wanted and had to communicate that to him.
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
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    PikaKnight wrote: »
    Is it possible you are just being paranoid or projecting your frustration at not being able to eat like her, on her? Because honestly, that's what it sounds like.
    No not paranoid when I find candy on my bed. And she never eats it either.
  • ems212
    ems212 Posts: 135 Member
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    It could be she's seeing the changes in you, and it's worrying her. Weight loss can/does change lives. Your personality changes because dieting and exercising are lifestyle changes.

    I'd suggest a sit-down to talk to her about it. And if she continues this behavior, I'd be finding a new friend.
  • shunggie
    shunggie Posts: 1,036 Member
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    When I first <many years ago> started thinking about losing weight my doctor had me complete this questionarre. One of the questions was are you preparred for the responses of your friends and family. When I reviewed it with the doc I said, yes they'll be happy for me. I did not understand the question until it happened. They were mostly happy for me, but after I lost some weight (I weighed 275 pounds to start) even my mother thought i'd lost enough. I was getting too thin (I still weighed 180 pounds).

    For what it's worth, I did not think your posted sounded paranoid in any way.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,711 Member
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    Huh, you say she has food issues of her own yet is "stick thin". Perhaps she knows she'll be jealous of you if you lose weight? Sad. And I hope I'm wrong, since you consider her a friend. I don't know. Sometimes people are just afraid of change.

    Either way, keep taking care of yourself and be happy!
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,949 Member
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    Perhaps she thinks the granola bars she makes are good for you - like maybe she's thinking "They're high in fibre so if she eats this she'll feel full"?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    bluvsu wrote: »
    PikaKnight wrote: »
    Is it possible you are just being paranoid or projecting your frustration at not being able to eat like her, on her? Because honestly, that's what it sounds like.
    No not paranoid when I find candy on my bed. And she never eats it either.

    if they are on the bed throw them away- or put them back in the fridge.

    My BF buys me treats all the time- sometimes even when I've requested him not to- sometimes he forgets- sometimes he wants me to be happy (chocolate does make me happy) and sometimes he's just an a22. I usually don't mind- I work what I can into my day and put the rest away for later.

    Don't over think it- just plow on steady in your course- you're on the right track.

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