Back again, again...

Hello myfitnesspal people. And it looks like I originally posted in the wrong place

I don't know why I keep leaving, or why I lose the motivation... but I do...

I used mfp about 3 years ago, lost 70 lbs, got hurt, gave it up, gained it back...

I came back about a year ago, lost another 50, gained another excuse, gained it back and more.

Now, here I sit, sadly at 316 pounds. The heaviest I've ever been. I'm back on p90x. I need to stay motivated but I don't know how.

I'm worried that I'm going to lose my drive to keep going after a few weeks. But I don't want to do that. Why? I'm worried I might die. And I don't want my three kids to grow up without a dad.

I don't know if it's the lifestyle change that's the hardest, but I need friends who will help me get to my goal of 199 pounds. I'd go with 200, but I'd really love to see a 1 on the scale. I want to keep at this forever. I want to be the healthier me that I know I can be....

They say the third time's a charm. Here's hoping.