Has anyone been told that they are getting too skinny?

fat2strongbeth
fat2strongbeth Posts: 735 Member
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
I've been told this a few times lately. Let's be clear, I'm 5'4" and 157 lbs. I'm hardly wasting away.
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Replies

  • maroonmango211
    maroonmango211 Posts: 908 Member
    This is a huge pet peeve of mine in relation to healthy living. The first 20 lbs no one seemed to notice I lost weight at all, as soon as I hit 30 lbs lost people started saying things like "I hope you aren't trying to loose too much" or "You are looking too thin."

    The important thing is to not take it too seriously whether it's their genuine concern for your health and not understanding what your healthy goal is, they're jealous of your success, or they're just ignorant completely on the subject it doesn't matter. Do it for you and brush it off. You look fabulous and I'm sure being healthy and knowing your own body is much more of a push in the right direction than anything someone else can say.
  • fat2strongbeth
    fat2strongbeth Posts: 735 Member
    I ignore most of it, but still think it's crazy. The other question I get often is "what special diet are you on". Not many people like my answer of just learning to eat healthy. They want a magic pill!
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    Yep, I get it too. The worst offender is my mother. It is what it is. These people don't live in my skin. I know how much better I felt before I gained this weight.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I know what you mean, betharin. I'm 5'8" and 170 and several people (mostly casual friends/acquaintances) have told me this too. "You looked good last year, I'd get back to that because you are looking too skinny lately" - WTH. Last year at this time I was around 200 lb. I have noticed the people saying this share no characteristic...some are older, younger, thin, overweight...doesn't seem to matter. I just ignore them though.

    I'm also familiar with that assumption that I am on a magic diet or pill.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    I'm 5'11 and 159.5 lbs, so BMI 22.2. The exact middle of the BMI "normal" scale is 21.7, so I'm not even close to underweight (which would be 132 lbs- almost 30 lbs less than what I weigh).

    A lot of people have said, "You look amazing!" a few have followed up with, "So, you're going to stop losing weight soon, right?" I think it comes from a place of concern masked in humor. My weight loss hasn't been sudden (started in Jan 2014), but 50+ lbs is a lot to lose and I only see some friends every other month or so.

    The more common obesity/being overweight becomes, the more people normalize it. These days if you ask people to identify underweight/normal weight/overweight/obese, they're more likely to see slightly overweight people as normal/healthy weight.
  • 3Alice3
    3Alice3 Posts: 36 Member
    Happens all the time with my family. They even talk about me with each other like I am not there e.g. 'she is getting too thin isn't she? wasting away. you know it's unhealthy to be too skinny' etc etc. To be honest I just ignore it now and say I have stopped losing weight, and am just trying to maintain. It does bother me though. Not sure why.

    Oh, and I am 5'6 and 132 pounds.
  • SingingSingleTracker
    SingingSingleTracker Posts: 1,866 Member
    betharin wrote: »
    I've been told this a few times lately. Let's be clear, I'm 5'4" and 157 lbs. I'm hardly wasting away.

    ^^Yes!^^

    I dropped a spare tire this year, and basically got back to the weight I was from about age 16 - age 44 (majority of my adult life). Back to the same waist size, same shirt size, and same weight.

    A very healthy BMI of 21.7 which has the needle in the middle of the "normal" range.

    15929246821_1570d09b5a.jpg

    Once I achieved the spare tire loss. Out came the comments by friends, family, colleagues. You're too skinny. Are you sick? Is something wrong?

    Odd.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    I had this the first time I lost weight - It takes time for people to get used to how you look now but after a while people stop mentioning it... In fact someone even commented about my gain when I put on 10lb from my target weight - even though it was around this point coming down the scale that they commented about getting too thin. (Now moving back in the right direction - almost there!!!)

    The best advice I can give you is to trust yourself to to set the right goal and maintain properly when you reach it.
  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
    Yes, a few people have said it to me too...and believe me, at 177 at 5'1, I am hardly skinny. I actually still have an Obese BMI.

    I just smile and say i'm not worried about my losses. That when I get closer to a healthy weight i'll work with my doctor on what weight I should be.
  • Jams009
    Jams009 Posts: 345 Member
    Yeah, I'm not exactly big so people get alarmed when I say I'm losing weight, and then they look at me like I have some kind of eating disorder when I say it is intentional. Then, if the conversation goes further, they are baffled when I try to explain I am completely in control and tell them about body composition and bodyfat % and macro counting and weightlifting. I'm sure my Grandma thinks I'm anorexic or something.

    "You don't need to lose weight!" "Eat some cheese!" I'm 22% body fat and my BMI is 25.7... there really is no need to panic.
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    No! But at 5'10" but at 235 lbs, I've been told not to lose anymore! And When I told someone else I still had 70-80 lbs to go they were like "Where in the world are you gonna lose it from? You'll just look old and sick. At our age especially, (40's) We can't be underweight." Ummm 160 is far from underweight. I just smile and nod and change the subject now. I always thought I'd be happy hearing this kind of thing. It gets old fast.
  • maria0elisa
    maria0elisa Posts: 199 Member
    ergh yes, all the time. It's annoying becauuuse:
    1) it's your body and no-one else's
    2) I *am* eating enough
    3) Ironically, it has made me think more about my weight and made me more self-conscious/anxious not to gain it all back.
    When people are constantly telling you you're too skinny, you realise how much others do see and comment on your weight. When you're overweight, people might think you are, but no-one tells you and you don't realise it, or admit to your situation. So when you're overweight, you might think that no-one cares about you weight, but really they do...
    Anyway I guess that point is irrelevant because it brings me back to number 1..!
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    betharin wrote: »
    I ignore most of it, but still think it's crazy. The other question I get often is "what special diet are you on". Not many people like my answer of just learning to eat healthy. They want a magic pill!
    And yes! I am thinking I should make up some ridiculous thing and sell it. They WANT to believe in some gimmick so they can spend $ rather than put in the effort. We could make a fortune! lol

  • Beanogirl
    Beanogirl Posts: 97 Member
    I think being overweight has been normalised to such an extent that 'we' have forgotten what a healthy weight looks like. I too have had this one & I ignore it. I know where I want to be!
  • mandylanerocks
    mandylanerocks Posts: 100 Member
    YES!!! Its very frustrating because last time I checked I'm an adult & I live in my body - not them.
    Its almost hurtful. People don't realize that them saying this is the same as telling an overweight/obese person "go get on a treadmill" or "do you really need that extra helping?"

    I also hate hearing "go EAT something"... seriously? why do you feel its necessary to say these things? I am nowhere close to skin & bones.
    Eventually they do give up & they realize that what you are doing is okay.
  • haleigh29
    haleigh29 Posts: 70 Member
    I have been told this several times over the past month. It is discouraging and has caused me to lose focus and determination. I know I still have about 8-10 more lbs to loss to reach my goal and the constant negative attitude from others is not helpful. I
  • Organicgasm
    Organicgasm Posts: 592 Member
    A lot. People don't realize that commenting on people's weight in a negative way is a d*** thing to do if they are saying something other than "gosh you're a tubbo aren't you?"
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    Yeah I've gotten that, especially from family members. I think, when people get used to seeing you a certain way, any change in the way you look seems more drastic than it is. I have a friend who has lost over 100 pounds, and just the other day I was thinking how skinny he looked. In reality, he's not skinny (I think he's still technically overweight, though he looks awesome), but he looks tiny compared to how he was when we first met.

    People don't like change haha, they're probably just freaked out by the change in your body, which they've exaggerated in their own heads. Keep doing you :)

  • lisaanne1369
    lisaanne1369 Posts: 377 Member
    yes! "no one likes a skinny Lisa" from my husband. I am 5-5 and 127-130 I am fine and feel great!
  • jamesxspader
    jamesxspader Posts: 3
    Oh yeah...just at Thanksgiving. Got a lot of "So, how many calories a day do you eat?"
  • WatchJoshLift
    WatchJoshLift Posts: 520 Member
    I was told this while losing weight, mostly by obese people who weren't trying to lose weight. It's a form of body shaming and it's extremely frustrating. I replied to one person "where were you when I was getting fat and eating myself to death? I don't remember you being concered about me then!" The comments have mostly stopped, though I had a trainer in the gym tell me I needed to "bulk" up because women don't like scrawny men. I told him it didn't matter what women thought about me because I'm married, lol.
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
    Also keep in mind if you live in places like the united states an most of Europe you're surrounded by fat people and that becomes normal. People these days no longer understand what a healthy body is suppose to look like because we're surrounded by fat *kitten*. -_-

    I'd tell them where to shove it. I'm not at that point yet where people would look at me and go "omg you're wasting away" but yeah when I get there, I can't wait to tell people off LOL :laugh:
  • JeffInJax
    JeffInJax Posts: 232 Member
    My mom said that, then I started singing to her with my stomach how my milkshake doesn't bring any girls to the yard, and she hasn't said anything since. Was about 20 pounds ago...
  • WatchJoshLift
    WatchJoshLift Posts: 520 Member
    jamesxspader wrote: »
    Oh yeah...just at Thanksgiving. Got a lot of "So, how many calories a day do you eat?"

    When I got that question, I'd tell everyone "on a good day, 800, but mostly I eat 500 a day." Of course, because of working out, I didn't have many days where I ate below 2000.
  • grumpyalbertm
    grumpyalbertm Posts: 1
    I get that all the time, and my response will always be "thank you! I like hearing that more than "your to fat try losing some weight"
  • Laughter_Girl
    Laughter_Girl Posts: 2,226 Member
    OP - I totally agree. We have very similar stats, and like you, I KNOW that I am not close to being skinny. I take the feedback in stride though.
  • aubyshortcake
    aubyshortcake Posts: 796 Member
    yes, I've also been asked (in response to my weight loss) "what happened? are you sick? you're not on drugs are you??" sheeeeesh. lol
  • dblanch2013
    dblanch2013 Posts: 9
    amy0louise wrote: »
    ergh yes, all the time. It's annoying becauuuse:
    1) it's your body and no-one else's
    2) I *am* eating enough
    3) Ironically, it has made me think more about my weight and made me more self-conscious/anxious not to gain it all back.
    When people are constantly telling you you're too skinny, you realise how much others do see and comment on your weight. When you're overweight, people might think you are, but no-one tells you and you don't realise it, or admit to your situation. So when you're overweight, you might think that no-one cares about you weight, but really they do...
    Anyway I guess that point is irrelevant because it brings me back to number 1..!

    Exactly! At first it was flattering, but like you, it has made me more self conscious/anxious that people were constantly judging me before.

    Sometimes being overly complimented can backfire. I have noticed that whenever people push on, and go on a bit excessively sometimes, about how "good you look/different you look!", at first I find the compliment flattering but then the wondering starts...Did I look THAT bad before? I have only lost about 20-25 pounds depending on the month and I am 5'8, so I can't help but wonder...and feel kind of low/horrified at the thought of gaining weight again.

    Also, most of the time, from a peer standpoint and especially from women, it comes off a bit like deep-seeded jealously. And I have been asked/confronted more than once if I have an eating disorder.

    And the answer is, no, not at all, I just eat healthier and work out, which I never used to do. But the constant questioning and emphasis does put a damper on it depending on the mood.

    Overall, I try to just ignore it.
  • liza0109
    liza0109 Posts: 5 Member
    Yes. I get that too.
    Also, if I cough or sneeze my mom tells me I'm getting sick because I'm too skinny!! Are you kidding? I'm healthier now than I ever have been!
    My family also tend to watch what I eat when in a social gathering and feel they need to comment, such as "you can't eat that, it's not a vegetable"!!
    They didn't tell me not to eat something before and that's when they should have!
    I'm far from too skinny at 5'5" 133#. In fact I'm starting feel pretty athletic!
  • conklil
    conklil Posts: 81 Member
    Yeap....my whole life I said, just once I want someone to say I'm too skinny and here it is, so yay. I'm not too skinny. 5'1", 123 lbs (only because I gained some weight over the holiday week). I was at 118 lbs for about 5 minutes before the holiday.
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