Black Women: Do you get weight loss support?

SlimmingMeDown
SlimmingMeDown Posts: 63 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am a size 10 and would like to be a size 6. I find that most black women and men I encounter think I am already very skinny. In fact, most AA women and many AA men in my community are overweight, except the teenagers. I get comments about making sure to fill up at meals because I don't have enough meat on me. Well, my ideal has always been Naomi Campbell, but I doubt I will ever be as lean as her.

I find that except for around my husband, I don't eat with other people. Church luncheons and relatives are always serving up greasy food, and I don't want to be around that stuff.

It seems few AA actually think being slim is ideal or something to work towards. I never thought the big look was nice, and I don't get why our community thinks it is beautiful.

Am I alone here? Do any black females on this forum feel alone in your weight loss quest?

Replies

  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    I always envied black girls because their community seemed to support them no matter what their size. As a half-Asian I have a community that sees even the 'average' sizes of 12-14 as horribly fat, and I was always horribly fat+. I guess this is really a cultural difference we have. If you were Asian the size 6 might even be considered chubby, and you'd probably get a lot of pressure to drop down to a 2 or 4. When I was younger and in a size 12-14 I was always put down by my mom & her friends for being fat. Now I'm in a 16-18 and really considered obese by them! Even the ones who are chubby too seem to enjoy commenting on how fat the younger generation is!

    I'm proud of you for doing what you know is healthy and right for you.

    I remember hearing that in the AA community heaviness is not considered a negative stigma and there is almost a defiant pride in being loved as a "big and beautiful queen". I don't know, but I do think that every culture will have their struggles.

    I commend you too; maybe taking a healthy dish to the pot lucks would work. Best wishes in your weight loss journey!
  • SlimmingMeDown
    SlimmingMeDown Posts: 63 Member
    I always envied black girls because their community seemed to support them no matter what their size. As a half-Asian I have a community that sees even the 'average' sizes of 12-14 as horribly fat, and I was always horribly fat+. I guess this is really a cultural difference we have. If you were Asian the size 6 might even be considered chubby, and you'd probably get a lot of pressure to drop down to a 2 or 4. When I was younger and in a size 12-14 I was always put down by my mom & her friends for being fat. Now I'm in a 16-18 and really considered obese by them! Even the ones who are chubby too seem to enjoy commenting on how fat the younger generation is!

    I'm proud of you for doing what you know is healthy and right for you.

    I remember hearing that in the AA community heaviness is not considered a negative stigma and there is almost a defiant pride in being loved as a "big and beautiful queen". I don't know, but I do think that every culture will have their struggles.

    I commend you too; maybe taking a healthy dish to the pot lucks would work. Best wishes in your weight loss journey!

    It seems you've got a challenge just like I do, in terms of accepted sizes.

    I see the big & beautiful queen thing as self-acceptance, but also accepting unhealthy -- and depending upon your perception -- unattractive norms as being beautiful. I don't see it as beautiful, but here I am into the slim chick thing.

    One of my best friends from college is a Chinese-American woman, right about your size. She says all of her sisters and cousins are sizes 00 to 4. I am not sure if it is true, but it resonates with what you say.

    Your profile pic is very pretty. And as long as your journey is about health, all is good.
  • tynishabeezfit
    tynishabeezfit Posts: 154 Member
    The topic of black woman as far as weight goes often upsets me. Yes it's great to be confident in your curves, but when it comes to being like 5ft tall and 400lbs, I don't get it. I often wonder when do people have a cut off point. Yes there are woman who workout and still may be a little larger, but at least they are getting moving. Congrats to you for taking control, maybe it will rub off on the fam bam. :)
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    I am a skinny white chick so my lived experience cannot relate to your stories. However, I can say something to the beauty ideals we have. Globally, it has actually been the norm that women with more fat meet the beauty ideal. Slimness is a very western, mostly white, ideal that is actually fairly new. Curves, fat, girth, etc, use to be valued because it symbolized fertility. With the rise of western feminism, and the values of entering the workplace rather than being a mother and homemaker increased, slimness, androgyny, a more “boyish” look became more compelling to many white women. To make a long story short, this all evolved to where we are now – skinniness; however, curves have come back to being valued if they’re confined to breasts and butts. This western white ideal has somewhat spread to other cultures and countries – as a lot of western white beauty ideals do: lighter skin, smaller noses, etc. However, you will still find that more curves, fat, etc are still valuable in many cultures. I personally think that monolithic beauty ideals are effed up. I don’t think skinny should be any more valuable than fat; however, we’re on a fitness site so I’m not sure if this is the right audience for body-love in all forms. Also, in many ways “healthy” and “unhealthy” are social constructs, but I won’t get into that or I could go on forever.

    I believe that we have the right to choose what we want our bodies to look like so if you want to be slim I hope you find the support you need. Whether friends and family are telling you to eat more or eat less, it can be really frustrating. I wish people would mind their own and be supportive of the choices of others. I hope you find your support. But thinking there is something wrong with other people’s bodies is something people need to check. I have so much respect for the big women I know that reject what society tells them and work on loving and accepting themselves in a society that shames their bodies.

    If you’re interested there is a really interesting ethnography called “Feeding Desire: Fatness, Beauty and Sexuality Among a Saharan People” by Popenoe about extreme fatness being the feminine ideal in the Moors in Sahara dessert.

    P.S. My fav blog: http://www.hanneblank.com/blog/2011/06/23/real-women/

    “There is no wrong way to have a body”
  • SlimmingMeDown
    SlimmingMeDown Posts: 63 Member
    The topic of black woman as far as weight goes often upsets me. Yes it's great to be confident in your curves, but when it comes to being like 5ft tall and 400lbs, I don't get it. I often wonder when do people have a cut off point. Yes there are woman who workout and still may be a little larger, but at least they are getting moving. Congrats to you for taking control, maybe it will rub off on the fam bam. :)

    I don't get it either.

    I would like to just shake some of the people in my neighborhood with my hands, "What are you doing with yourself? Get off the couch before it kills you!." The idea that black culture has accepted obesity ingrained into it is highly upsetting. But I can only change me. So maybe I need to throw my hands up and keep going.

    And if that is you in the picture, then your are an inspiration to me and to all of us.
  • tynishabeezfit
    tynishabeezfit Posts: 154 Member
    It's me, thanks! :)
  • SlimmingMeDown
    SlimmingMeDown Posts: 63 Member
    Curves, fat, girth, etc, use to be valued because it symbolized fertility. With the rise of western feminism, and the values of entering the workplace rather than being a mother and homemaker increased, slimness, androgyny, a more “boyish” look became more compelling to many white women. To make a long story short, this all evolved to where we are now – skinniness; however, curves have come back to being valued if they’re confined to breasts and butts. This western white ideal has somewhat spread to other cultures and countries – as a lot of western white beauty ideals do: lighter skin, smaller noses, etc. However, you will still find that more curves, fat, etc are still valuable in many cultures. I personally think that monolithic beauty ideals are effed up. I don’t think skinny should be any more valuable than fat; however, we’re on a fitness site so I’m not sure if this is the right audience for body-love in all forms. Also, in many ways “healthy” and “unhealthy” are social constructs, but I won’t get into that or I could go on forever.

    I studied some film and entertainment history in college, and in the U.S. the models in early ads and actresses on the stage were a healthy thin, not a bony thin. Maybe what we'd consider a size 8 today, rather than the size 0 or 2 you see everywhere these days.

    It seems that people usually want to be whatever status is hardest to attain. These days, for most people, that attainment is thinness. But I think that is a good thing in moderation.

    I don't think that all black people idealize fatness though. When I was in high school and most of us students were somewhat lean, no one talked about anyone not having enough weight on them, unless they were a total bean pole.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Haha my trainer thinks it is hilarious that I keep telling her I want everything to shrink except for my butt. It's just that my butt is so small for a black girl already. :(
  • tynishabeezfit
    tynishabeezfit Posts: 154 Member
    Haha my trainer thinks it is hilarious that I keep telling her I want everything to shrink except for my butt. It's just that my butt is so small for a black girl already. :(

    I feel your pain. I am working on my squats. Lol
  • SlimmingMeDown
    SlimmingMeDown Posts: 63 Member
    Haha my trainer thinks it is hilarious that I keep telling her I want everything to shrink except for my butt. It's just that my butt is so small for a black girl already. :(

    Mine too. I get teased about it all the time. We'll just have some small -- but tight cakes.
  • crust2000
    crust2000 Posts: 10 Member
    I'm not AA, but I am Hispanic and I believe our cultures have very similar views when it comes to weight/beauty standards.

    - Thick is always good.
    - The curvier the better.

    Plus, we grow up eating these traditional meals that are DELICIOUS, but aren't healthy for us. So yes, I can relate to being around greasy food and people who couldn't understand why I would want/need to lose weight.

    In the past, when I was trying my hardest to eat healthy and maintain my weight, I would get crazy looks and comments. But guess what!?!? Now that my weight has ballooned, I get the same crazy looks and comments about my weight gain.

    Damned if we do, damned if we don't. Ultimately, I've found that weight loss is a personal journey. We can't force anyone to go along with it or expect everyone to support it.

    Do you and whatever keeps you happy & healthy :smile:

    51008056.png
  • SlimmingMeDown
    SlimmingMeDown Posts: 63 Member
    I'm not AA, but I am Hispanic and I believe our cultures have very similar views when it comes to weight/beauty standards.

    - Thick is always good.
    - The curvier the better.

    Plus, we grow up eating these traditional meals that are DELICIOUS, but aren't healthy for us. So yes, I can relate to being around greasy food and people who couldn't understand why I would want/need to lose weight.

    51008056.png

    I didn't know Hispanics liked thickness and curves. Makes sense when you think about the food being so good.
  • crust2000
    crust2000 Posts: 10 Member
    Yup, our guys love curvy girls! They especially like the ones that can cook all that deliciousness from scratch.

    Have you tried posting your question in any of the group forums?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/7752-black-women-losing-weight

    I came across this one ^ earlier today while I was browsing. You might get a better response to your question.

    Good Luck!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i dont need support of others.. i gained weight on my own, so i dont see the need to have a posse or support system to lose weight. you're losing the weight for your own reasons, dont make other people's issues yours.

    but as someone who's always been active i find that many people (black white asian whatever) are lazy assess so i never discuss my workoyts with them unless i know they into fitness or have an athletic background. otherwise i tend to get too many "oh no you're over doing it!" comments if they discover that i workout 6 hours a week and doubly so if they find out how hard i exercise while doing it.
  • prttybrwneyez13
    prttybrwneyez13 Posts: 5 Member
    I'm super late, but this was a great topic.
  • getitamb
    getitamb Posts: 2,019 Member
    I’m
    Super duper late but no I don’t. They think it’s better if I’m overweight and eating unhealthy crap all day.

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