How to do find the motivation you once had?

ggluvbug1
ggluvbug1 Posts: 87 Member
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
In 2009, I started losing weight, and a year later, I was almost 100 pounds lighter. Since then, I have been up and down around 30 pounds or so, but I cannot seem to find the motivation I had at that point. For the longest time, I just made excuses and was content to just kind of go through the motions. I do have medical issues now that weren't present when I first started, so it is so much harder to lose anything now. That really just keeps my motivation level low as well.
Today I was talking about all of this with my brother and husband, and it just really dawned on me that the "feeling" that was there when I first started is not. My big question is how do I get back to that point?

Replies

  • 1pjah7
    1pjah7 Posts: 24 Member
    I wish I could offer you some suggestions, but find myself in a similar position (but not even close to losing what I need to). Hopefully someone who has overcome this self-defeating behavior will respond with what worked for them.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
    Waiting for the feeling to come back isn't the most important thing to me when I'm stuck and demotived (which I am right now). It feels a bit backwards. Instead, I'm trying to let increased progress restore motivation, instead of motivation inspiring progress. So one of the ways I've been trying to re-start my weight loss is to make very small goals, very reachable goals, that I can build on steadily but surely. I think my motivation will return as I focus on doing instead of feeling.
  • Unknown
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  • jsecret
    jsecret Posts: 606 Member
    The biggest motivation I have found kind of hit me after listening to my biggest idol talk. She spoke about how it isn't the end goal but loving the process of getting there. Find a workout, an exercise, a sport, whatever, but find something you can learn to love. This is not a "one stop shop" where you can lose the weight and then just quit and expect to keep your goal without continuing to work. Most of us will have to continue the workouts most of our lives to stay in the shape we want to be in, at that point motivation will fade of course. However, if you love the process of getting there and love the workout itself you won't quit because you're doing something you honestly enjoy instead of doing something you hate just for the end goal.
  • Lonestar5775
    Lonestar5775 Posts: 740 Member
    Like jsecret I discovered the joy of walking that helped me lose the small amount I did. The activity is so enjoyable to me I never want to return to being sedentary. Plus, at my age it has become more of a reality that some day something as simple as walking will not be an option and I am going to fight that tooth and nail!

    Congrats on losing that much. I know very few people who have achieved that level of accomplishment! Don't minimize what you have done.
  • dasher602014
    dasher602014 Posts: 1,992 Member
    Thank you jsecret, your advice has the ring of truth. I have a good weather routine that I love. Just have to find a cold winter weather routine. You have given me food for thought. I was rewarding behaviour not results when it come to eating, at least, thinking of how well I did each day, even when the scale doesn't show it. Now I have to work out how to do the same for exercise. And I think "fake it, 'til you make it" might help too. Just got to get the habit back.
  • bluesdivaca
    bluesdivaca Posts: 27 Member
    This rings a bell with me. I've been struggling in the past months to get back on my program (Low Carb) but could NOT get my brain there.

    I began to look at my eating in a different way than just soothing my feelings. I began to look at it as self-abuse. Obviously it is long-term self-abuse but the realization is that I am obese. My knees, hips, ankles feel it. My self-esteem is low because I am not giving myself good self-care.

    And now I am one week back on track. Maybe this month of loving and giving to others - I am learning that self love is mandatory to be there for others.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    edited December 2014
    NCServant wrote: »
    Like jsecret I discovered the joy of walking that helped me lose the small amount I did. The activity is so enjoyable to me I never want to return to being sedentary. Plus, at my age it has become more of a reality that some day something as simple as walking will not be an option and I am going to fight that tooth and nail!

    Congrats on losing that much. I know very few people who have achieved that level of accomplishment! Don't minimize what you have done.

    Walking is my favorite form of exercise. I speed walk for long distances, which burns a ton of calories and always manages to get me sweating.

    Not sure how old you are, but my grandmother, who is pushing 90, is an avid lifelong walker who still does a few miles almost every day. She's in better health and shape than half her kids and use to work as a home care provider for people her own age. She attributes regular walking as part of her continued good health, mobility and vitality. Several of her non-exercising siblings made it into their 80s and 90s as well, but none in nearly as good health as she has.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    It truthfully doesn't come back to be that way again.

    You have to go meet it.

    You built up a tolerance to the stuff that motivated you in the beginning, now it has to be combined with getting your routine back and being self-disciplined.

    Good news is that once you do, that motivation/dedication is way stronger this time.
  • lpendleton58
    lpendleton58 Posts: 285 Member
    A lot good advice up here, esp. from jsecret and yoovie.

    Congratulations of your progress thus far. For me, what gets me back on track when I lose the drive is remembering where I once was and never wanting to go back. It could be pics, how unhealthy I felt at the time, etc.

    Also, even though I am happy where I am now, I am even more excited about where I could be if I stay on track (leaner, stronger, etc.). This relates more to what jsecret noted before and enjoying the journey that I am currently on with the workout and meal plans.
  • erkyperky
    erkyperky Posts: 5
    You've done an incredible job getting to where you are now! I totally know where you're coming from trying to get through that next hurdle. What helps me is changing up my routine. I work full time, have a new son and I don't have time or motivation to spend hours at the gym. I only alott myself 30 minutes a day to workout and I do it from home. In my mind i'm like "ok, its only 30 minutes. i can do this." and before i know it I'm already done. Its AMAZING how many 30 minutes workout programs there are out there that produce really great results. I'm in an online support and accountability group that really helps me press play on those down days. We support each other on our good days, lift each other up on our bad, and celebrate our victories together-both on the scale and off of it. I also like personal development and the idea of improving myself on the inside as well as the outside. Re-Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins is a great starting point and available for free download on his website.
  • BadassBride
    BadassBride Posts: 28 Member
    BFDeal wrote: »
    Hmm, my guess is you've become the hottest girl in your circle of friends. You've lost the eye of the tiger because you have no motivation to do better. I'd make some hotter friends who are thinner and prettier. That will motivate you to try to be like them. Just my two cents. YMMV.

    This is an awful thing to suggest. I hope this person was joking.
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
    I think some goals are great when fueled by emotion. I also think other goals, especially those that require a serious amount of daily work, are best if emotion doesn't drive the goal.

    For me, dieting is one that emotion is best left out of, because how I feel about eating and food changes so very much from day to day. Same with daily exercise.

    So maybe it's not motivation or energy about it you need. Maybe it's just decision that will work. (YMMV, and all that, as people are often different)
  • MsWendyjc
    MsWendyjc Posts: 63 Member
    Finding the motivation is easy! ..
    The result motivates me to keep going, my loose fitting clothes, the head turning and comments from friends and the way i feel have me buzzing with enjoyment. I'm over half way to my goal in just several months because the results are the key! Walking is great, Push biking (cycling) is most enjoyable, throw in a little circuit once a week to help with toning and your winning ...
    I never want to be a gym junkie so i have only been doing road cycling and walking for several months along with portion control and not eating fried!
    I've lost 13kilo,28Ibs in that time and thats the motivator :)
    I also find following people on instagram motivates, there are some great snack ideas and pictures of what people are eating and doing to change the life style to what they want (LOVINDAJURNII) is my nic on instagram .. Good Luck!
  • ncfitbit
    ncfitbit Posts: 1,058 Member
    edited December 2014
    I wish I know know who said this, but someone on these MFP boards said it a few weeks back and it has stuck with me: "Working out is an action, not a feeling." So I remind myself of that on days when I do not "feel like" working out or eating well. I just do it, and the rest follows. I'm amazed at how much I can get myself to do now that "feeling motivated" to do it isn't required. I agree with others here, though, that finding some stuff you love to do (and love to eat that fits your plan, I would add) makes the whole thing much more enjoyable and less of a chore to do. Best of luck!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    You don't, you just make the decision and the plan and stick with it.
  • BadassBride
    BadassBride Posts: 28 Member
    THIS
    ncfitbit wrote: »
    I wish I know know who said this, but someone on these MFP boards said it a few weeks back and it has stuck with me: "Working out is an action, not a feeling." So I remind myself of that on days when I do not "feel like" working out or eating well. I just do it, and the rest follows. I'm amazed at how much I can get myself to do now that "feeling motivated" to do it isn't required. I agree with others here, though, that finding some stuff you love to do (and love to eat that fits your plan, I would add) makes the whole thing much more enjoyable and less of a chore to do. Best of luck!

    I needed that, thank you!

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    How do you stay motivated to do the laundry...do the dishes...vacuum the floors, etc? Or do you simply do these things because they need doing?

    Even if you're someone like me who really and truly enjoys exercise and fitness and enjoys eating healthfully, etc...well, there are days...many days where I'm just not feeling it...that's when habit and good old fashioned discipline take over. Motivation is a fleeting thing for everyone.

    I would also add that in my experience, it has to be about more than just some number on the scale...that's usually not enough for most people I know. Ultimately there has to be something bigger and a greater purpose to your journey than a number.
  • Beanogirl
    Beanogirl Posts: 97 Member
    When I jump on the scales & see another lb gone I am motivated to keep it up until I get to my target weight. No idea why this time is different. I have been on a 'diet' all my life without getting any where close to where I am now. I think I decided that if I left it much longer there was no point in bothering because I would be too old to ever be attractive again.
  • minzlm
    minzlm Posts: 1 Member
    Thanks, it is not the big goal or drive that gets me but that little drive that keeps me from putting that holiday treat into my mouth. Without the drive like I had the first time I just do it rather than say no. I wish I had an answer.
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
    Have been going through some of the same motivation issues. For me, this is a very difficult time of year to be diligent about the food intake. I've decided my goal is weight neutral until the first of the year...then hit it hard.

    Good luck!

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  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    As someone who suffers from depression and has a lot of trouble with motivation when the "lows" hit... I get what you're going through. For me personally, habit is what saves me during this time, because I can just go through the motions of what I'm used to doing. It doesn't always work, but it does work a lot of the time.

    I've had a few falls off of the wagon and found it very hard to get back on--Just forcing it, and doing what I knew I needed to do, pulled me through the first week or two... Then the old healthy habits kicked back in and I was all good again.

    So basically, a combination of habit and "just doing it" is how I get through this kind of thing. Building the habit is the hardest part, and it comes with the "just do it" part. Over time, you'll feel more motivated as you gain momentum, your willpower improves, you're able to say no when you want or need to, and you start to see results again!

    All the best! :)
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    BFDeal wrote: »
    Hmm, my guess is you've become the hottest girl in your circle of friends. You've lost the eye of the tiger because you have no motivation to do better. I'd make some hotter friends who are thinner and prettier. That will motivate you to try to be like them. Just my two cents. YMMV.

    This is actually great advice.
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