IT - please please read.
Anidorie
Posts: 291 Member
I have IT. IT is not a new car or a new dress. IT is nothing nice. IT is anorexia. It is also a pain in the butt. No, literally. My butt is gone. It hurts if I sit too long. My ribs hurt if I fall asleep on my stomach. I can see the bones in my hands on both sides. I can see every rib I have, even the ones under my boobs.
I guess it was in my future to have it from the time I was born. My mother had over eating disorders and always gave us the impression we had to be skinny. I remember being nine years old and her coming home with me a new jump rope. I was happy. New too, right? Later that night I heard her talking to my father about how she bought it for me and hoped I would work out with it and lose some weight.
Over the next few years I remember being told I was fat, I needed to cut back, my stomach was pudgy, I was chunky, I needed to loose weight, and oh yeah she bought me my clothes in three to five sizes too big so that “they would hide my fat”.
My sisters have it too. I didn’t realize that until I got it. They say 1-2 out of every 100 people have it. I know several people with it. I am torn. I want to be so skinny that no one will ever mistake me for fat again but then I want to be healthy too. Part of me says stop the dieting and go eat like a normal person (I’m not sure if I would be able to do that but its worth a try) and then the other part of me says NO don’t eat for five weeks and you will be skinny.
I didn’t write this for sympathy, I wrote this so you would watch out. Mothers, when you diet make sure your daughters know it is to be healthy and not just to be skinny. Watch what they eat and make sure they are getting enough. If they eat a little too much but their BMI is still in the healthy range, don’t worry. Sisters, never tell a younger sibling they are fat and worthless. They look up to you for guidance and tearing them down will only help them become insecure. Fathers, love your daughters even if you wanted sons instead of daughters. Everyone else, be supportive and loving and be the person they could come to for help and not the person they fear finding out. Help those who are hurting.
I guess it was in my future to have it from the time I was born. My mother had over eating disorders and always gave us the impression we had to be skinny. I remember being nine years old and her coming home with me a new jump rope. I was happy. New too, right? Later that night I heard her talking to my father about how she bought it for me and hoped I would work out with it and lose some weight.
Over the next few years I remember being told I was fat, I needed to cut back, my stomach was pudgy, I was chunky, I needed to loose weight, and oh yeah she bought me my clothes in three to five sizes too big so that “they would hide my fat”.
My sisters have it too. I didn’t realize that until I got it. They say 1-2 out of every 100 people have it. I know several people with it. I am torn. I want to be so skinny that no one will ever mistake me for fat again but then I want to be healthy too. Part of me says stop the dieting and go eat like a normal person (I’m not sure if I would be able to do that but its worth a try) and then the other part of me says NO don’t eat for five weeks and you will be skinny.
I didn’t write this for sympathy, I wrote this so you would watch out. Mothers, when you diet make sure your daughters know it is to be healthy and not just to be skinny. Watch what they eat and make sure they are getting enough. If they eat a little too much but their BMI is still in the healthy range, don’t worry. Sisters, never tell a younger sibling they are fat and worthless. They look up to you for guidance and tearing them down will only help them become insecure. Fathers, love your daughters even if you wanted sons instead of daughters. Everyone else, be supportive and loving and be the person they could come to for help and not the person they fear finding out. Help those who are hurting.
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Replies
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I know you said this wasn't a post for sympathy, but this tugs at my heartstrings. I think that you sound like a strong intelligent woman, and you are ready to make a positive change in your life.0
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Thank you for sharing your story and for the reminder.
I realized after a few months on my weight loss journey that all I would talk about with my family was cutting calories and exercising. After my 9-year-old started asking me questions about how much she should be eating and if she gets enough exercise, I quickly changed the focus of our conversations. If we do discuss food and exercise now, I try to help her make healthy choices instead of limiting her food intake, and we do more active things together.
I'm so sorry that you're going through such a difficult experience. I pray that you have a counselor and are working on fixing the mental side of things so that your body can heal. And keep speaking out about it--you're sure to help many people who struggle with the same issue.0 -
Oh, this is so touching. I agree. My issues started with careless comments, and now they've kind of snowballed upon each other. I remember being seven, eight years old and poking my fat stomach--when I was like 60 pounds, tops. It's insane...0
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Thanks so much for sharing. I wish that this message could spread farther than just our little website forum. I want it to be displayed in schools and churches and social gatherings of all kinds. I want everyone that can read to read these words. It is so important to display confidence and help build it in our peers.
I think you are an absolutely wonderful gal. Thanks again for sharing your experiences, they can certainly shed light on this 'taboo' topic and help out others who might suffer (or are suffering) from this disorder or ones like it.
Thank you :flowerforyou:0 -
I think that you need to go talk to someone about this. Eating disorders are not something to fight yourself. You need some back up. I am not trying to be harsh when I say this, but you really do need to try counseling. It helps to change your mind frame about food.
If you are so thin that it hurts, perhaps now would be the time to go get some help before you are hospitalized or worse......
Good luck beautiful lady. Don't give up hope!0 -
You have courage in sharing that part of yourself with all of us. Thank you and you are so right about being thoughtful about what is said around ones children! :bigsmile0
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wow Thank you for sharing your story. God bless and good luck ::))0
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the fact that you have the words and courage to express and speak out amazes me!! May god bless you on your journey to healthy0
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Thanks for sharing. We sometimes forget that there's another side to weight battle.
You sound like a very strong, beautiful girl. I wish you only the best on your journey to a healthier you!0 -
You are amazing!!! I have a daughter and try so very, very hard to only emphasis health, NOT weight with her. I am a vegetarian and try to only buy organic, so I stress good food choices and moving your body. I am not so healthy in my views either, but not to your extreme. I had a less than supportive mother as a kid in regards to weight, and had a really hateful comment made to me when I was entering puberty. My ribs stick out too, and I often am embarrassed by they way my top half looks (yet sometimes pleased, which is my disordered side talking). You are very brave for posting this, young girls need to be told how beautiful they are, regardless of their size. Teaching kids to be healthy with food is important, not only because of ED's but also because of the obesity/health epidemic we are currently in (though a lot of obesity is caused by an ED also). (((HUGS))):flowerforyou: I hope you can find peace and help for your anorexia.0
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Thank you for sharing your story. It is a good reminder for everyone. I hope you find help along your way.0
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Be careful, be careful, be careful! Your profile says you don't want to have a heart attack at 25 because you ate too much fast food. A good friend of mine had a heart attack and died at age 21 because she didn't/wouldn't/couldn't eat. She was a sophmore in college, incredibly smart, thought she had things under control. You are not in control with anorexia, it is a disease that controls you.
You are aware you have a problem, thats a great first step. Now take the next step and do something about it. Get. Help.0 -
It took alot of courage to post this, and thank you for doing so. My wife and I are on here , as we are both overweight. We have a 8 yr old daughter that has autism. She if anything is too light for her age and height. We explained to her that we were doing this so we could be healthier and be around as long as possible to take care of her. We also have stressed to her that she needs to eat to be healthier. We have found that we have to take it a day at a time both for our struggle and hers.0
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thank you all for reading.0
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Thank-you for sharing. I have tried to be very careful with my daughter and sons about this subject, and I'm thankful for the reminder. And like some of the others said, be careful. Find someone to talk to.0
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I don't know what to say to this, just wow. You are honest and courageous. Bless you -- and please do consider getting help.0
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