NSV - self-concept as a female lifter
sengalissa
Posts: 253 Member
I have been lifting for more than 6 months now and I love every second of it!!! However, I train early in the morning in my apartment complex gym, all by myself. The only person who knows I lift heavy is my husband (and my kids) because whenever I mentioned I would like to do it I got weird replies from people (oh, better stick to lower weights, I never lifted anything that heavy, you should not do that etc, aren't you still nursing,...). So I have become very quiet. which is hard, because it has become such an important part of my life and my well-being.
Recently, I had to move a heavy rug for someone, and that person said "Oh, no, you don't have to do that. We can get someone to do that." And I replied "Oh, that's ok, I am strong. I lift weights for a hobby", thinking to myself that this is basically a deadlift. Sure enough, picked the bulky rug up and carried it to where she wanted it. The fact that I said that is my NSV.
I am a little intimidated because one woman (who, honestly, I do not really like) does crossfit and has been doing it for a while, and I don't want to get into the competition thing with her or on people's minds. It is ridiculous but one part of me wants to wear "I lift heavy" tanks to show off my triceps, and one part of me just wants to do my thing without explaining.
Sometimes I think I might just train like crazy over winter and then look so breath-taking next summer that people cannot help to ask. And then I will say, oh, well, I am a lifter, as if it were nothing.
During training, I always plan my "coming out" 
Any women can relate?
Recently, I had to move a heavy rug for someone, and that person said "Oh, no, you don't have to do that. We can get someone to do that." And I replied "Oh, that's ok, I am strong. I lift weights for a hobby", thinking to myself that this is basically a deadlift. Sure enough, picked the bulky rug up and carried it to where she wanted it. The fact that I said that is my NSV.
I am a little intimidated because one woman (who, honestly, I do not really like) does crossfit and has been doing it for a while, and I don't want to get into the competition thing with her or on people's minds. It is ridiculous but one part of me wants to wear "I lift heavy" tanks to show off my triceps, and one part of me just wants to do my thing without explaining.
Sometimes I think I might just train like crazy over winter and then look so breath-taking next summer that people cannot help to ask. And then I will say, oh, well, I am a lifter, as if it were nothing.
During training, I always plan my "coming out" Any women can relate?
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I love this. I always feel a bit sheepish telling people I lift a) because I am still relatively new to it and very weak, and b) because I expect to have that reaction of 'what?? women shouldn't lift weights!!' so I can totally relate.0
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Totally, but for different reasons. I find this site so important because I have found people interested in better health and who I can discuss things that come up. People in real life might not know how to be supportive of me. I do lift, but right now, am not shocking anyone with my successes. However, it is the reason for my success with weight loss. I think of myself as a secret project. My muscles are getting stronger under the blanket of my excess weight. When the weight is gone, my muscles will get to have the show!! Interesting, I always plan my 'coming out' during my cardio....
You might be crazy, but you have company!!
Keep on lifting heavy. Rock on.0 -
Ha, I can totally relate. The gym I go to has about 80 percent of males because they don't offer "courses", which are popular with girls. Or at lunch, when all the girls are eating salads and I am loading on my carbs and protein.
There is nothing to be ashamed of though, you don't have to hide it - that's like hiding a succesful career just because you are a woman and many might comment on how you should stay at home more;). Make it your thing and be proud of yourself!0 -
Yeah, I am still not as strong as any man out there who does not lift. Once I can do an unassisted pull up, I will let everyone know. Sheepish is exactly how I feel. Then again, it is my passion, and other people blabber about their passion even if they are not good at it. Hm.I love this. I always feel a bit sheepish telling people I lift a) because I am still relatively new to it and very weak, and b) because I expect to have that reaction of 'what?? women shouldn't lift weights!!' so I can totally relate.0 -
I am like 5-10lbs from my goal weight, and I only stopped eating at a deficit because lifting during winter and getting stronger was my priority. So, one can see some muscle - but basically on my arms and back which means it is covered under clothes. I do not even do cardio these days...Totally, but for different reasons. I find this site so important because I have found people interested in better health and who I can discuss things that come up. People in real life might not know how to be supportive of me. I do lift, but right now, am not shocking anyone with my successes. However, it is the reason for my success with weight loss. I think of myself as a secret project. My muscles are getting stronger under the blanket of my excess weight. When the weight is gone, my muscles will get to have the show!! Interesting, I always plan my 'coming out' during my cardio....
You might be crazy, but you have company!!
Keep on lifting heavy. Rock on.
Anyway, yeah, let's plan out coming out!! We could even make this a theme. It blows my mind that I have been thinking I was the only one thinking that way and now I got 3 replies within minutes! Let's plan out coming out together 0 -
I am trying... and I AM proud of myself. But not proud enough to brag - yet.Ha, I can totally relate. The gym I go to has about 80 percent of males because they don't offer "courses", which are popular with girls. Or at lunch, when all the girls are eating salads and I am loading on my carbs and protein.
There is nothing to be ashamed of though, you don't have to hide it - that's like hiding a succesful career just because you are a woman and many might comment on how you should stay at home more;). Make it your thing and be proud of yourself!
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I wish I could like this post...I have been secretly drinking protein shakes!! I've just gone back to the gym after an 18 month break/3 stone gain of pure fat - I can't wait to start lifting heavy!0
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MFP actually inspired me to hire a personal trainer to teach me how to do heavy lifting. I tell everyone regardless of the comments I receive because I'm proud that my body can do this. One of my guy friends grabbed my bicep the other day so I flexed and my arm was actually harder than his. He told me that my muscles were 'mannish'. I said "Nope, I'm powerful". Keep at it! Share and make your coming out spectacular!0
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Love this post! I planned my coming out for next spring at my daughter's graduation. I have it all figured out in my head. lol I'd love for someone to say, "oh, hey... OH, HEY!" And do a double take. That's all. My husband and kids are the only ones who know, too.
The body is definitely changing (I was surprised by the look of my shoulders and veins one day after a shower), but the scale hasn't moved. I'll get the eating dialed in. I have trouble getting out of my head on the food part of my life.0 -
I recently started lifting heavier but it isn't a big thing at my gym. There are some women who just do cardio but there are just as many women as men using the squat rack, bench press, barbells etc. I have also noticed that quite a few of the women in my spin classes are also doing hard core strength training several times a week. For me, I sometimes get strange comments outside the gym such as "aren't you worried about looking too bulky". On the other hand, since my "batwings" have been replaced with "guns" I have had alot of my friends ask about what I have been doing and they have since started lifting. (Not having batwings is considered a small miracle in post-menopausal circles!)0
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Great NSV!
My close friends know that I lift, but I don't really tell people because the topic doesn't come up usually. Also, I don't really look like I lift weights so I feel a bit silly telling people about it lol0 -
I'm going to be the oddball because I'm going to key in on the "competition" part of this. I don't lift heavy, I don't run marathons I do what I need to do for me to make me healthy. Because I have friends that are in that competition frame of mind and do a bunch of "classes" I just avoid the conversation of fitness with them, I'm proud of their success but I'm proud of mine too. So I guess what I'm saying is wear that shirt, be proud of it, maybe you just wear it to work out or maybe to bed but you deserve to own what you're doing because you're doing it for YOU. Don't ever let anyone else cast a shadow over you even if it's in your own mind.
Congratulations on your success so far and to showing off those guns.0 -
You should totally get the tank top! You don't have to lift heavier than anyone else to "lift heavy". If it is hard to lift, it's heavy. Period. My deadlifts are nowhere near as high as some of the women at my gym, but they are as much as I can lift 3-5x, so to me they are heavy.
On the rare occasion that I go out clubbing, most of the women I see are wearing low cut blouses to show off their cleavage, or short skirts to show off their legs. I wear sleeveless shirts to show off my delts, lol!
One other note, I never went very far in my Muay Thai training until I started to think of myself as a fighter. I don't think I would have had the motivation to actually become a competitive fighter if I hadn't started acting like I already was one.0 -
sengalissa wrote: »
Sometimes I think I might just train like crazy over winter and then look so breath-taking next summer that people cannot help to ask. And then I will say, oh, well, I am a lifter, as if it were nothing. During training, I always plan my "coming out"
Any women can relate?
This is exactly what I wanted to do this winter! I've been lifting semi-seriously (motivation comes and goes) for a while, but I want to hit it hard this winter and hopefully shed some fat too so those muscles will show through. I usually gain during the winter, but not this winter!
My New Year's Resolution is to focus more on lifting AND crop top by summer.0 -
Cool NSV! I was ordering my dog food on line but started going to my local shop and the guy refuses to let me carry it out to my car myself. Lol. I always say it's okay but I think he is just really polite. When I was in CA for a mini vacay I had to talk myself into using the weight room at the 24 there. I still feel out of place there but then I just tell myself no one cares about me and go for it. And I love the tanks with the sayings. My favorite one I wear says "I bathe in male tears."0
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yes! I can 100% relate!!0
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hmmm I don't relate. I've lifted for a while and I never felt weird or shy in the slightest saying that I do.... who cares what people think, lift all the rugs.0
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You go girl! I remember when I first started lifting I did get a lot of grief from men. Until they started realizing I was serious about it and then they actually started to help me improve. I've taken the last few months off and I'm not sure why. But recently I've gotten back into it and very excited.0
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First of all, you GO. I know exactly the feeling, like when I lifted my tire to put it in my trunk to my neighbors amazement. Or how my manager couldn't believe that I could change a keg.
I, too, keep it somewhat to myself because I just don't want to hear the comments: "You're going to get bulky" "You're gonna look like a man" "Why?".
Like you, i'm gonna just keep doing what I do and when I get to that point where I look awesome, I can preach the ways of strength training for women.
Why worry about the crossfit chick? I don't know much about crossfit, but what I do know is laughable. Take solace in knowing that you are training responsibly and using proper form and don't worry about her!0 -
I'm an in the closet lifter too. Not that I really hide it (I work out at my work's gym), but the only person who has been supportive is my husband; and he's been great. He even bought the weights and developed a program for me as he used to lift weights. He's also acts as my personal trainer pushing me till I tell him (with a smile) that I hate him as he's made my arms feel like lead; and then pushing me more. He also tells me how proud he is of me -which is always nice to hear. But other than that I've had people who just ignore the point, which is fine by me, and I've had the ignorant responses. My sister warns me that I'll look like a man -this was after she informed me that I could never lift heavy weights but I educated her on what lifting heavy was. My mother is concerned that I'll injure myself "take care" she says even though she's never lifted weights. Even my boss once said to me when I told him what I was doing "Yeah, but women don't lift large weights it's not like you want to bulk up." And I've had another colleague laugh at me and send me photos of very very muscly (steroid created?) women.
So I now keep it to myself, I don't hide it but I don't talk about it. Maybe when I'm stronger (I've only just started) then I'll start wearing singlets proclaiming that I lift heavy -I always like the motto "Lift heavy or go home". So I guess I'm like you. I'll train like crazy and then be like "Oh this, just from lifting heavy, see I'm proof that you don't get bulky or turn into a man".
Lift on people, you all rock!0 -
I'm so not in the closet hahaha. People who are negative IMHO fall in to one of two groups - people who have a genuine care/worry and would respond to assurance and education, and people who can f*** off and whose opinion matters not.
It's a hard mindset to get into I think, particularly when you're female, but I genuinely believe the world is a better place when people give less f***s about things that don't affect them haha.
Admittedly my muscularity is pretty obvious but learning to give exactly zero cares to people who are concerned about me 'getting too big,' as it has no effect on them, and therefore theirconcerns have zero effect on me, has made me much more relaxed about lifting in general.0
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