I feel defeated...

Sheseeksstrength · December 2014

Hi there,
I am truly wanting to have a meltdown and cry. I want to just fall apart. Tonight, I fell off the bandwagon. Actually, the last three days I really have. I got on the scale yesterday and I was already up on the weight category. I keep binging at night, and I am not physically hungry. I am so disappointed in myself and I can't seem to get back on track. I keep doing the whole, "I blew it" so I might as well keep going.
I feel like a failure and most importantly, I feel fat. I want to cry. I know tomorrow is a new day and I want to get back on track, but I am just so stressed out and nervous that I won't succeed. I feel that the weight I have gained I can't lose and that I gained like 4 lbs. In reality, even if it is not four pounds, just one pound will make me want to fall apart.

Please send me some encouragement. I know this seems irrational, and it likely is, but I am having a panic attack right now and having a difficult time dealing with it.

Thank you!

Sheseeksstrength · December 2014

Also, it will say my account is deactivated, but it is not. Just a heads-up.

fitfreakymom · December 2014

Well you had a bad few days, pick yourself up dust yourself off and get back on the wagon!

radiosilents · December 2014

I know, we can really be irrational when it comes to this stuff, right? I understand and I am sure many others do, too. Look. The only way you won't succeed is if you give up. So you had an off day, or two, or three. OK. Starting now, you're back on.

There. That was easy!

You can do this. Take it one day, one meal, even one bite at a time and be forgiving of yourself. If you "mess up", you just get back on again – right away. Rinse and repeat.

Don't stress and be nervous! If you keep treating yourself kindly and feeding your body healthy things, you will succeed.

LeenaGee · December 2014

Breaks my heart to see you so sad. Honey, you are here and obviously willing to listen and gain the knowledge that will set you on a path to good health. Step 1. Forgive yourself and Step 2. Believe in yourself. You will succeed.

Good luck and don't give up. Everyone here will help you. xx

lemurcat12 · December 2014

For me one of the huge lessons this time was learning that screwing up isn't the end of the world but part of life and a good plan will allow for messing up and getting back to it. It only really is a problem if you feel so defeated when you aren't perfect that you just blow off everything and decide you must start again later.

Another thing that helped me is journaling, especially when I felt like I was struggling. It gave me some insight into why I might be eating when I wasn't hungry or being slothful when I knew I'd enjoy a workout if I started it. Also, sometimes it's just something to do before going to grab that food that ends up allowing the urge to pass.

Medilia · December 2014

I found clearing out all the chocolates and other naughty snack foods from my house really helped me. If I want a chocolate I will have to go to the shops to get it. I am too lazy to do that so I eat nuts instead.

It is really hard and I know all about binging. Add me as a friend and we can help each other out

sassysniper · December 2014

Sorry to see that you're so sad and feel defeated. Remember we ALL have those days of feeling like we're never going to meet our goals, achieve the healthy body we want, and will ultimately fail. The key is to NOT give up. Hang in there. Don't feel bad for having an emotional day. It's not irrational. It's called being a human. Tomorrow, wake up and tell yourself it will be a better day. Then drum up all the determination you possibly can and do better than today. (((hugs)))

skinny0000 · December 2014

I tried for 10 year to lose weight, and I am only 25 years old.
Like many of us, you have to try your best every day. You can't un-eat anything. You can't change the past. You can change the future! I want you to wake up tomorrow with a good attitude and a clean slate. You can do this!!!

HealthyNFitMomma · December 2014

Let hunger be your friend - think of it that the fat is walking off of your body when you're feeling hungry (if you've eaten your calorie limit for the day), and know that tomorrow when you wake up, you'll weigh less. Count your calories so that you're not eating blindly and that you don't feel bad for eating something that you enjoy (or that's comforting), because you think it's over your limit, when it may not actually be. I'm dealing with the same struggle as you, but when I take control of counting my calories (and not guessing) and take comfort in the hunger because I know I'll weigh less the next day, I always get results, and wake up feeling better about myself. Good luck!

Kalikel · December 2014

Stop beating yourself up! People do much worse...people kill other people and feel less shame than you are feeling over this. You overate. Big whup. Who hasn't.

Get rid of the emotions and focus on what you want. What do you really, really want?

The things you want a lot are called "goals", lol. You have them. Everyone does. You can choose to go after what you want. You can work for it. With a lot of work and a little luck, you'll get it.

Cease the shame and start working. Make a plan. Post it.

jamilynn_8890 · December 2014

I fell off the bandwagon for a whole week for Thanksgiving. 1 cheat day turned into 7. I got back on track last Wednesday and I'm already back to my pre-Thanksgiving weight, plus I lost an additional 1.8 lbs. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward.

jnv7594 · December 2014

Hi, sheseeksfitness. I just wanted to say I have been where you are many, many times. I have always struggled with my weight...always was looking for an eating plan I could stick with all of which were too strict until now. I even lost 125 pounds once and regained it within a few years. I've probably spent 30 odd years "dieting." So after many trials and errors over the years, I've finally learned what helps, at least for me, with the binges. Now granted we are not all the same, and different things work for different people, so take from my post what you will and ignore what you don't find useful.

Most of my eating changes and efforts to lose weight over the years included one main thing...restriction. My main tactic to lose weight in the past used to be to drastically reduce fat and avoid what I used to see as "bad" foods. Obviously, that didn't work, lol. For me, that restriction is what led to the binges. Telling myself I can't have this or that was just not working for me. When I started making changes this time around, I did it drastically different. Rather than restricting my fat grams to 10 or 15 like I used to, I eat 50 or 60. I eat what I want. Even treats. I have a treat every day, whether it be cookies, hot chocolate, a desert bar, whatever. I just control my portions. I find that when I started doing this my cravings and binges pretty much disappeared, save for some during PMS, lol. When I don't treat myself or tell myself I can't, the urge to binge creeps back in.

Also, I arrange my day so that I eat the majority of calories in the evening. I'm usually not hungry earlier in the day, but evening is when I get the munchies. I usually have my first meal around 11 a.m. I have a snack in the afternoon, lunch close to 5 p.m. or so and dinner close to 9 p.m. This has helped a ton with binging for me. Plus, I don't eat all the fat free stuff. I stick to full fat things such as bacon, butter, salad dressing, etc. Incorporating these things into my meals along with veggies and such makes me feel fuller and makes me less likely to binge. Don't feel like you have to eat certain meals at certain times. Do what works for you. And no, eating dinner close to bed won't make you gain weight. I've been doing it for the past five months and have lost over 50 pounds.

As far as eating when you're not hungry, my best suggestion is to just try and occupy your mind with something else. Go for a walk if the weather is nice, take up a hobby that will keep your hands and mind busy during those times. Try to avoid triggers. For example, I used to sit in front of the t.v. and watch movies and eat. When I am getting an urge to munch a lot, I find something else to do. Sitting in front of the t.v. will just trigger that old behavior for me and make it that much harder.

Anyway, try not to be so hard on yourself. Pick yourself up and move on, and try making adjustments to your eating plan to see what works for you. Sometimes it's just about trial and error. Good luck.

Sheseeksstrength · December 2014

Oh my gosh, the outpour of kindness is amazing!! Thank you for all listening to me. I would love to add yall as friends but because I have a bug in my account, I can't.

once they fix it, I certainly will! Thank you all for the support. I am going to get back on track tomorrow. I am full and not eating anymore tonight. I hope I can do it! Thank you so much for all the kindness

yoovie · December 2014

there are no bugs here that stop you from adding friends, if adding people will help, go ahead and get a support network.

andymcclure · December 2014

Ugh. I've been there. That's not a fun place to be at all.

One thing that might help would be some exercise. I don't know what you're doing at this point, but even a long walk can make a big difference. Yes, it will burn a few calories, which helps, but I find the introspective time can be really helpful. It's a little easier to think positive thoughts about your weight loss journey if you're actually moving while thinking about it.

Otherwise, just keep trying. There are good days and there are bad days, and sometimes the bad days like to stick together.

I feel defeated...

Replies

Categories