So frustrated with myself

Options
julie11314
julie11314 Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone,

My name is Julie and I am in need of some serious motivation.

I don't what my problem is or what's wrong with me but I just can not seem to commit to making the change to being a better, healthier me.

I have joined MFP many times, deleting and creating new accounts over and over again...

I start out psyched - finally ready to commit only to fall off a couple of days or week - and then start all over again.

I used to want to lose weight solely to look better, now I want to do it more for my health. Don't get me wrong - I would LOVE to love or even like the way I look but I want to feel better and sleep better, I want more energy and less heartburn.

I want to go into my closet and pull out of the first thing I see and not have to do a wardrobe change 3 times over because nothing fits right - I want to look good and presentable in nice clothes but I also want to be comfortable and have more time in the morning!

I want instant results but I know that is not realistic or safe. At this point I'm fine with slow and steady because I want it to stay off and I know that the next 3 months, 6 months, 1 year is going to fly by no matter how slow today may feel.

I want to be able to take a compliment without thinking the other person is crazy or just saying it to be nice..

I know I need to drink more water, make better food choices and move more.

I just don't know why I can't seem to step over that line and just do it once and for all - I am just so frustrated with myself!!! :s:s:s

I realize this may sound whiny and annoying - if so, I apologize - that is not my intention at all. I just thought that maybe if I just put this all out there that it will finally click and I can finally start my journey to a better me.

Thanks for listening - hope you all have a fantastic day. :)
«1

Replies

  • jesiann2014
    jesiann2014 Posts: 521 Member
    Options
    julie11314 wrote: »
    I know I need to drink more water, make better food choices and move more.

    So today, do it. Just today. It's just one day, right? Ok, so do it just today. :)
  • jesiann2014
    jesiann2014 Posts: 521 Member
    Options
    So do it just today. Just for one day, do what you know you need to do. It's just one day, right? :)
  • UmmSqueaky
    UmmSqueaky Posts: 715 Member
    Options
    I know the feeling. I spent my 20s trying to lose weight - was on sparkpeople for many years on and off, went to the gym on and off, did weight watchers on and off. And I just kept gaining weight. This time around something clicked in my head. I had a rude awakening, and I kept that in my mind each and every day for the last 372 days.

    Find that something that will smack you awake and get you committed. Only you know what that is. Find the motivation, cling to it, and make small changes that will add up to a new, sustainable lifestyle. The weight loss journey is hard, but you've got to keep at it each day. And then a year from now, you can look back and be proud of how far you've come :)
  • amylynn82784
    amylynn82784 Posts: 26 Member
    Options
    One day at a time. Make sure you log everything you eat in the diary. You would be surprised how many calories everything is. That is what helped me. Feel free to add me!
  • joseccastaneda
    joseccastaneda Posts: 267 Member
    Options
    That's interesting because the best way i can describe what got me going was also something clicked. For work related stuff, i'm effective and strong and produce results. For some reason, that's not how i viewed myself in my personal life, until that moment when it clicked and i knew i wasn't that weak person i made myself out to be in my personal life. Things still get to me sometimes, but now instead of obstacles, i view them as just another challenge and another opportunity to shine.
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
    Options
    I had to hit rockbottom to get started on my journey. A little whining is good as long as you don't wallow in self-pity. Only you can do this; no one else can. I ignored my weight for two years and gained 80lbs while injured and stuffing my face with complete crap. I avoided the scale because I knew it would make me stop what I was doing. Then, without going into detail, something happened in September that left me completely humiliated and it was all due to the weight I gained. That was all I needed. Everything has been crystal clear since that time. I never gained that much weight when I yo-yo'd before. The amount of weight I put on literally changed my life. I couldn't do thing I enjoyed, couldn't fit any clothes, felt unattractive, was totally out of shape. But somehow I thought this was MY secret. Like other people around me didn't notice. Like all the health issues I had (GERD, hiatal hernnia, fatigue, insomnia, etc.) weren't because I was fat. Total denial. I have no idea what I was thinking during those two years. I'm off the GERD meds and getting back into shape. I workout like demon and LOVE it and the way it makes me feel and look.

    It's hard to know what to say to you other than "you have to really want it". Refuse to give up. Take it slow and one day at a time and just don't give up. I'm looking back now and time has flown by. I'm still far from my ultimate goal of awesomeness but I know, before I know it, 35lbs will be 50lbs,75lbs, etc. I'm enjoying the ride. I'm not a different person than before but I just took control of my life and am having a positive attitude about being fit, eating healthy and looking great. I am committed to doing what I need to do for the rest of my life so I can enjoy all the things I love to do.

    Good luck.
  • fufnb1
    fufnb1 Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    It sounds silly to say, and I'm sure you've heard it a million times... but take it one day at a time. If you fall off one day, the next day is a completely new one so you just get back to it. You also shouldn't change EVERYTHING and expect yourself to stick with that for even a week! Just try one thing; drink more water this week. After you notice the feeling you get from that and like it, then try to add something new; don't have a sugary breakfast. It's not a race, it's a freakin' marathon. Get excited about having a "streak" on MFP, log everything even if you're mad at yourself for eating it, and just make it a routine. You can do it!!
  • julie11314
    julie11314 Posts: 12
    Options
    Thank you all so very much for your honest and thoughtful comments. So appreciative <3
  • julie11314
    julie11314 Posts: 12
    Options
    fufnb1 wrote: »
    It's not a race, it's a freakin' marathon.

    LOVE this!!! Thank you!
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    Options
    great advise here.
    but i spent YEARS fighting the same battle your describe. yo-yoing through my 20s. devil v. angel conversations in my head trying to stay on yet another diet. beating myself on WHY i can't just stick with it! i know what to do why can't i just do it!

    the answers lied much deeper. there are emotional reasons why we sabotage and don't "take care of ourselves" the real journey is finding out the why. the food "plan" and weightloss will be a by product of that journey. its take effort, lots of self reflection and really really paying attention.
    don't know where to start? start with geneen roth's breaking free from emotional/compulsive eating. its a short read and packed with great stuff. don't let the title scare you off. think you're not an emotional eater? read it anyway... game changer.
  • k8dagr8
    k8dagr8 Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    I am with you there! That was how I was the better part of this year! In 2013 I lost 15 of the 20 I had gained with my son...then fell off! I knew I was gaining again, I hated looking at myself in the mirror or being intimate with my hubs. I spent $500 to do a 6 week summer slim down personal training program and worked my *kitten* off and lost 1lb. I was not ready for that level of disappointment (yes I prob gained muscle but pffff! NOT what I was looking to do!). with my 1lb loss in July I was 189lbs. I weighed myself in Nov 1----202lbs! that was my breaking point. I gave birth to a 9lb baby at 203lb!

    I just took it one day at a time....look at my profile and see how I track my goals. I am not setting long term goals right now...I set weekly, if not daily goals and this is what is working for me this time around. As simple as week 1 goal=drink 1 gal of water a day. keep it up and try to maintain then set week 2=take 4 30 min walks, week 3=don't eat after 7pm or stop eating carbs by 3p. Little steps and the rest will fall in place....I promise. I update my goals right now every other week or weekly like I did around turkey day (checked in Wed then Tues). I will friend you so you can see
  • Terrappyn1
    Terrappyn1 Posts: 51 Member
    Options
    Hi Julie- I'm in the same boat. Ive been driving around for the last 2 months with my gym bag in my car. I used to love going to the gym and would go 5 or 6 days a week and somewhere and somehow I stopped years ago. Every so often I'd get on the boat and go a week or two then stop...How to end the cycle I think is an individual thing and you'll get there when the time is right. Or at least I like to think so. Until then I restart every day. ;)
    I know this isnt much help but really just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling this way.
  • hortensehildegarde
    hortensehildegarde Posts: 592 Member
    Options
    julie11314 wrote: »

    I just don't know why I can't seem to step over that line and just do it once and for all
    ... I just thought that maybe if I just put this all out there that it will finally click and I can finally start my journey to a better me.

    This was me earlier this year. Total mental blockage. I spent a lot of time reading and commenting on the forums and just kind of honing in my focus on little goals that kept my interest, and the sticktoitiveness just kind of happened.

    Yes there are still plenty of days where I eat 6,000+ calories. No I do not regularly exercise. But I lost 42 lbs so far and I don't feel like it's been difficult at all.

    Everyone's hurdles are a little different but for me "putting it out there" really helped me find what mine were and how to get past them. Course I had to do that more than once in more than one way, but talking/thinking about it is the first step after all I guess.
  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
    Options
    I spent the last year on MFP gaining/losing the same weight over and over. Finally, I decided to give the "friend" thing a try. It has made an ENORMOUS difference in my motivation and success. I love all of the positive comments, likes and encouragement we give each other. I CAN'T WAIT to log in every morning and see my log-in streak go up a day! And another trick I play on myself is when I just can't find the motivation to work out, I go ahead and log my exercise. Then it shows up on my wall, my friends all congratulate me for a job well done, and then I HAVE to do it so I'm not a liar! lol I encourage you to do the friend thing. You can post in 'Introduce Yourself' or 'Getting Started', and feel free to add me. There are some really amazing people on MFP!
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
    Options
    yayamom3 wrote: »
    I spent the last year on MFP gaining/losing the same weight over and over. Finally, I decided to give the "friend" thing a try. It has made an ENORMOUS difference in my motivation and success. I love all of the positive comments, likes and encouragement we give each other. I CAN'T WAIT to log in every morning and see my log-in streak go up a day! And another trick I play on myself is when I just can't find the motivation to work out, I go ahead and log my exercise. Then it shows up on my wall, my friends all congratulate me for a job well done, and then I HAVE to do it so I'm not a liar! lol I encourage you to do the friend thing. You can post in 'Introduce Yourself' or 'Getting Started', and feel free to add me. There are some really amazing people on MFP!

    Love the way you think!!! Awesome.
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
    Options
    Julie, All I can say is that I had to forgive myself for my past failures and then decide to do this for me and for my family. It's then that I found teh courage to make this work. It takes alot of self assessment to stick to MFP. There's alot of flexibility in the process to make it work for a large number of people. Probably the only critical common aspect of MFP is the need to follow the process daily, even hourly.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Options
    THIS IS NOT annoying!!!!!

    Maybe something that would help is working on believing that you deserve success.

    For lots of us, we can't commit because on some level we don't think we deserve to be happy healthy strong and beautiful. Lots of us are also concerned that even if we did reach that level, it would be some fluke that we would never be able to maintain and we'd slip back into oblivion and that would be just to hard to take. Still more of us worry that even if we do succeed, we're still somehow a fraud and eventually people will find out.

    Maybe this can help you out - if you believe that you deserve it, maybe you will allow yourself to commit to it.

    Because you do, ya know. Deserve to be the whole package.
  • Roxiegirl2008
    Roxiegirl2008 Posts: 756 Member
    Options
    I understand where you are coming from. I moved across the country away from all of my friends and the weather was totally different here and I just felt lost. I gained 60 lbs in less that one year making me a total of 90 lbs overweight. I joined a gym thinking "oh I will meet people and get out of my funk." Yeah, that would have helped if I had gone. HA!

    I finally saw a picture of myself and had to do a double take because I really didn't think it was me. I wanted to make a change but it was not until a month later that I finally acted. I added up all of the money I was spending on crappy food, drinks and bigger size clothes and found out that with that money I could get a trainer twice a week at my gym. I needed someone to be accountable to. She told me about MFP and that I needed to use it as part of the program. She said "give me 3-4 days of work outs per week of 45 minutes." That was two with her and then one to two on my own. That seemed doable and not overwhelming.

    I made logging my food into MFP like a game. I know strange. I also make a game out of it when we are eating out. I like to pick the most over the top food on the menu and plug it in just to see how many calories are in it. Of course I never order it but I has helped me to see what I can eat to be successful.

    My advise is to take it one day at a time. Plan your meals and put them in MFP each morning and you are less likely to go over since you have to go back and add. Good luck!
  • michsax14
    michsax14 Posts: 22 Member
    Options
    I have a similar story to yours, I have tried many times to lose weight. This time I am working hard at accepting a slow rate weight loss, one that allows me to eat more calories and feel more satisfied on a a daily basis, and still lose some weight (5-6 lbs a month). I used to try to lose a lot of weight fast and then become discouraged, so I'm hoping this new method works. Good luck :)
  • allieallieoxenfree
    allieallieoxenfree Posts: 114 Member
    Options
    Roxiegirl2008 wrote: »
    I finally saw a picture of myself and had to do a double take because I really didn't think it was me. I wanted to make a change but it was not until a month later that I finally acted.

    Yep, this happened to me too, and it also took me about a month to really act. NOT a good feeling.

    For me, a big hurdle was the fear that I would be hungry ALL THE TIME. I really, really, really do not like feeling hungry (my mom used to say that I was malnourished in another life lol). I had tried MFP before, but I was eating wayyyyyy too many carbs (for hunger reasons, I don't think there's anything wrong with carbs) and feeling hungry and lightheaded, unable to work out and just generally miserable.

    So this time, I did some research into foods that are filling and sustaining. I use IIFYM with a high protein & fat concentration and comparatively lower carbs. I also switched to TDEE instead of BMR so that I can consistently eat more calories and don't treat wroking out as a way to "earn" calories--working out is just part of my lifestyle.

    Anyway, long story short, is there a fear that is stopping you? Is there some way that you can tackle it?

Categories