Is it a bit weird to not want to share......

natajane · May 2011

My weight loss?

I've visted quite a few friends and family over the last couple of weekends, and my hubby bless him keeps prompting me to tell everyone about the 16 inches I've lost off of my body in the last 10 weeks (thanks to exercise and a couple of weeks of 1500cals!).

Its actually nearer 18 inches now, but I haven't told him.

I know he's only proud, but each time he spread the news, part of me feels like this is 'my project' and I don't want to tell anyone what I'm doing or how I'm doing it. I tell hubby of course because he asks, but I might not do anymore if he keeps spreading the news

I've got a long way to go yet before I am at a healthy weight in my mind. This isn't going to be easy, it will take me time.

And besides that this isn't a competition or something I want to boast about, this is me trying to change my life permenantly. I'm doing this for ME.

Perhaps I'm being a bit daft though. Does anyone else ever feel like that though?

First time I have.

x

bmontgomery87 · May 2011

Sounds like your just a humble person. Nothing wrong with that.
But theres also nothing wrong with you being proud of your hard work.

If you don't want to share it, I don't see anything wrong with it.

froglegjack · May 2011

I feel that way but only with some people. Share with us!!!! We are all very proud of you and each other. Yes it is a lifestyle change. When people start asking you can tell them if you want to.

Tracenspace · May 2011

I don't feel like sharing but it's because I'm afraid I will fail

and then I'll feel silly for having "bragged" about it. It sounds like you just want to do it on your own.

ILuvLifehouse · May 2011

I feel when I tell people that's when I screw up and stop losing. After those amount of inches I would think they can tell that you've been doing something but I totally understand what you are saying.

natajane · May 2011

Awww, bmontgomery - never been called humble before, lol. Nice of you.

I feel more than happy celebrating it with you guys on here - you're all in the same boat as me.

But when it comes to people in 'real life', I just don't want to tell em.

Part of me feels like there's no point in raving about my loss until I've lost the lot and I've changed my lifestyle properly - getting the job done first and all that malarky.

Also I particularly hate having it mentioned in front of my sister - she had a gastric band over a year ago, and is approaching my weight. I can feel my family now wanting to compare us. The way I see it though is that we're losing weight in completely different ways, what I'm doing is not really comparable in my head.

x

natajane · May 2011

I don't feel like sharing but it's because I'm afraid I will fail and then I'll feel silly for having "bragged" about it. It sounds like you just want to do it on your own.

Think thats a bit of what I'm feeling too yeah! Couldn't say it better.

But also I just feel a bit selfish about it, lol - its my weight loss, I don't want to share. All mine.

x

Atlantique · May 2011

It's not odd. Most of us don't enjoy having a great deal of attention focused on our bodies--not yet, at least!

But it's marvelous that your husband is so happy for you and so supportive. Perhaps you should tell him that you're a little uncomfortable discussing your weight loss outside of the two of you just now, and offer suggestions of how he can show his pride in different ways. That way, you can both express yourselves and still be comfortable.

And congratulations on your progress! You're doing very well! :bigsmile:

fitnessjch · May 2011

Are you sure you're worried about telling anyone through fear of failure? I know thats what I've been like. (I doubt myself too much!)

I'm sure your husband will understand if you tell him the truth. He can still be incredibly proud of you (which is really sweet, by the way! lol) but just not pass on the news to other people.

Good luck, and congrats for what you have done so far - thats a huge difference

FunRun08 · May 2011

Random thought- are the people in your family also struggling with their weight? I have a lot of obese people in my family and sometimes I feel self conscious when they go on about my weight loss. Im not sure if I worry that they will think Im judging them for not following the advice that -they asked ME for. I talk about all the ups and downs with my friends because we are all in the same frame of mind. Just a thought. I was very self conscious in the beginning also because I was afraid of failure, I was afraid that people would make a huge deal of the weight I had lost and then I would fail and get heavy again and it would be more noticeable.

I guess the point of all this is no your not crazy :happy:

natajane · May 2011

Random thought- are the people in your family also struggling with their weight? I have a lot of obese people in my family and sometimes I feel self conscious when they go on about my weight loss. Im not sure if I worry that they will think Im judging them for not following the advice that -they asked ME for. I talk about all the ups and downs with my friends because we are all in the same frame of mind. Just a thought. I was very self conscious in the beginning also because I was afraid of failure, I was afraid that people would make a huge deal of the weight I had lost and then I would fail and get heavy again and it would be more noticeable.

I guess the point of all this is no your not crazy :happy:

Yeah, you're spot on - my sister was always large but is getting closer to my size (gastric band), my dad is overweight and has diabetes from it and my mum isn't massive but is currently trying to lose weight (in the wrong way).

They never take anyones advice regarding diet or exercise, so regardless of how well I do in the future I'm a bit fed up of wasting my breath to be honest! They don't listen, think they know best.

My hubby's family, and most of my friends, are naturally slim as well.

Perhaps part of the reluctance is that I don't think anyone can relate to what I'm up to. As well as the fear of failure, and me wanting to keep my good news to me and hubby.

x

bmontgomery87 · May 2011

Also I particularly hate having it mentioned in front of my sister - she had a gastric band over a year ago, and is approaching my weight. I can feel my family now wanting to compare us. The way I see it though is that we're losing weight in completely different ways, what I'm doing is not really comparable in my head.

I agree here. Seems like she took the "easy way out".
Glad you're doing it the right way, thats a nsv in my book.

torregro · May 2011

I don't find your desire for privacy on your journey weird at all. In my family, it is not customary to comment when someone has put on a few pounds, so I don't find it unusual that we don't comment when someone has had a loss. My husband's Puerto Rican family has no such qualms. I don't think you can have it both ways. :-)

millygrl · May 2011

I have found the more people know, the more they scrutinize. How many calories have you had today? Are you sure you should go for another run? Just have some (insert unhealthy food here).
I get exactly what you mean by its your weight loss. You want to do it on your own without unsolicited advice.

BlackStarlight · May 2011

Hey hun
I dont find your reluctance to share strange at all. I get embarressed when anyone mentions how much wetight Ive lost its not that im not proud of it. I am. Im proud that Ive managed to get this far but Ive never been in the spotlight and suddenly im there. Its a strange thing really. But no its not werid. Im very much in agreement with you xxx

Is it a bit weird to not want to share......

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