When It Seems Everyone Close to You Is Down......

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lepnat
lepnat Posts: 33 Member
in Motivation and Support
In mid-October, I found out my horrible diet resulted in me being a full-blown Type 2 Diabetic with awful cholesterol (high overall, dangerously low HCL). I took that as a wake-up call and have really tried to take care of myself. And while I still have bad emotional moments, I'm overall doing much better.

Unfortunately, it feels like everyone close to me is not. I have two children with special needs. My youngest is doing better than n years past, but every day is still fruaght with concerns. My oldest is going through terrible self-confidence issues, has made no real connections in school, and now frequently calls herself fat and stupid (wonder who she learned that from). My brother is in an unhappy marriage and eats/smokes/works to cope. And my wife is starting to fall apart - she's sleeping 10 hours a day, is struggling at work, and feels she's neglecting her family.

So here I am finally taking steps to better myself after so many years of shoving food down my face and feelings down even farther. And yet now I'm starting to feel combinations of guilt and anger. If someone told me you could bite the bullet and suffer so your family could be happy, I would. It's the Jew in me I guess.

I haven't eaten over any of this, but my new lifestyle has passed the "Pink Cloud" stage and some days are a chore to get through without my junk buddies. Seeing so many of my loved ones unhappy is making this tougher. I love my family and I know they are all happy to see me doing better. And NOBODY is trying to sabotage me (though my daughter says when she hugs me I'm less "warm" than I used to be). But I can't help feeling bad, particularly seeing my wife struggle. The woman has been our rock for so long. Now, she's fighting to get through each day. Yet my taking on a more active role with things makes her feel even worse about herself. I can't fix anything for her, but I sure want to.

I'm sorry for rambling. I know the better I do, the more I can provide for everyone else. But the feelings are what they are. I just don't want to give up on myself during this time.

Thanks for reading.

Replies

  • 67mirunner
    67mirunner Posts: 32
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    Hang in there - it's HARD, and when you finally snap into taking care of yourself it's hard to see other people choose not to do that.

    You sound amazing and strong, so stay both of those things and be true to yourself. Will your wife consider getting help (of any kind....professional counseling, joining a group for supporting parents with special needs, etc)?

    Come here and ramble any time, it's an honor to hear your story and give you hugs from afar. You are doing the best that you can, and that's all you can do. I'm so impressed that you haven't cozied up to the junk buddies yet and can resist eating over all of this stress. You are a true inspiration!
  • GlucernaBrand
    GlucernaBrand Posts: 486
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    I give you a lot of credit for working hard to take care of your health and also take care of your family. Your positive attitude is going to carry through to your family as well. I wishj all of you the best. ~Lynn /Glucerna

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