PPD

I had it after Sophie was born, it was pretty severe. I've always had anxiety my whole life but the level of depression I reached after having my daughter was so extreme I could barely function. I think a mini support group is awesome!

I experienced it 3 times.

The first wasn't too bad, but I did come close to losing my husband.

After my 2nd was born, I also lost my grandmother. If you look through my old blog posts at littleduckie6.blogspot.com you can see how bad it was when I talked about it. I did seek therapy and antidepressants. But it got to the point where I attempted suicide more than once and my husband had me committed. The shrinks in the psych ward blamed the zoloft for my suicide attempts. 2008 was a VERY scary year for me. I went from being a very happy, upbeat, positive person to being a complete, negative mess. After my discharge from the nut house, I turned to heroin. I only used for 6 months, and was thrilled with a 50 lb weight loss in less than one month, but I lost my home, I had to bring my family of 4 at the time and move us into ONE small room at my parents. And I didn't care. I neglected my two boys, It was horrible. Once I was clean for 4 months I found I was pregnant again. After having sex just ONCE in over 8 months. I was PETRIFIED, contemplated adoption very seriously. How could *I* bring another child into this world? My parents rental home we were all staying in was in foreclosure and we had no where to go once it sold. My husband had been laid off for over 15 months at the time.

After my daughter, my 3rd child was born, PPD hit again. Luckily this time wasn't as bad as the 2nd, but for the first 6 months of her life I never left the couch in our new apartment except to go to work. I gained back all the weight I lost while using. I weighed more then than I did during my 9th month of pregnancy with her. I avoided medication with her as I wanted nothing to enter my milk, I knew breastfeeding would help me stay connected to her if things got bad, and would keep me from attempted suicide again, or returning to heroin. I am proud to say it worked.

I have returned (mostly) to my upbeat self. I am now (mostly) comfortable with life, though we struggle to make ends meat. I no longer let my husbands lay offs and my lack of a job get to me. I no longer play the woe is me card when I think of how little we have compared to some. And most of all I am finally grateful for all we have. It took a long time to adjust my attitude.



If *anyone* is suffering or thinks they are suffering from PPD, PLEASE contact your OBGYN, they can help tremendously. Just *talking* about your feelings can help so very much. Finding an outlet like blogging or journaling, or find a PPD support group (there are many online, the PPD support board at justmommies.com as well as the due date clubs and playrooms for each month and year are a great support. The community is all women who are either planning on having a baby, pregnant, or moms.)


Please anyone who is looking for someone to talk to, please feel to add me as a friend. As a fellow mom, and someone who has suffered from PPD, I know how alone one can feel. :flowerforyou:




Edited: Wow. So sorry for the book I just wrote. :embarassed: