Vegetarian

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healthyfitgirl24
healthyfitgirl24 Posts: 31
in Introduce Yourself
I decided to become vegetarian on June 23,2014. I believe it's wrong to kill animals and eat them. Everyone has their own opinions and I understand that. No one else in my family is vegetarian which makes it rather hard. At first my mother was concerned and worried like a normal mother but she came around and now supports me 100%. She buys me multi vitamins, constantly asks if I'm feeling fine, she buys me tofu,lentils and other beans, quinoa and other fake meats. She also buys me protein powder and makes me shakes on Sunday mornings. Although she is not veggie, she converses with me about my interests in helping animals. On the other hand, my father and his side of the family is always giving me a rough time. I thought he (they) would come around but he hasn't and I don't think he ever will. I believe they're really concerned because I have lost so much weight but it's only natural I mean I have removed all junk food that I once use to eat like cookies,chips,soda, juice. I only drink water, tea and fruit smoothies. I make sure to get all the vitimaians and macros I need, and I've never felt more healthier. I also exercise but ensure that I eat enough for energy and performance. My father believes that if you don't eat meat that you are crazy and will get sick and die. He is always putting me down by calling me names and telling me "you need to start eating meat look at yourself in the mirror, you look disgusting and like a Skelton". It really hurts my feelings because before when I was chunky he would tell me to loose weight and now that I have he still manages to find a way to put me down. It makes me feel like I'm never good enough. Today he told me we had to talk, so we did. He asked me where or who told me to stop eating meat and I replied no one I decided myself. He then got angry and threatened to go to the school (which I don't care about because I know they are understanding). He also said that if I don't start eating meat or continue doing "this treatment that I'm doing" he'll kick me out. He asked me why I'm always angry at him as if he hasn't done anything wrong, he's convinced that it has to do with my vegetarianism. I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please give me advice. I want to hash this out peacefully :)

Replies

  • mtruitt01
    mtruitt01 Posts: 370 Member
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    They are afraid. They think you have an eating disorder. I honestly don't know how to educate them. Are you within a healthy weight for your body type?
    You're 19. It's your life.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    edited December 2014
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    healthyfitgirl24 wrote: »
    I decided to become vegetarian on June 23,2014. I believe it's wrong to kill animals and eat them. Everyone has their own opinions and I understand that. No one else in my family is vegetarian which makes it rather hard. At first my mother was concerned and worried like a normal mother but she came around and now supports me 100%. She buys me multi vitamins, constantly asks if I'm feeling fine, she buys me tofu,lentils and other beans, quinoa and other fake meats. She also buys me protein powder and makes me shakes on Sunday mornings. Although she is not veggie, she converses with me about my interests in helping animals. On the other hand, my father and his side of the family is always giving me a rough time. I thought he (they) would come around but he hasn't and I don't think he ever will. I believe they're really concerned because I have lost so much weight but it's only natural I mean I have removed all junk food that I once use to eat like cookies,chips,soda, juice. I only drink water, tea and fruit smoothies. I make sure to get all the vitimaians and macros I need, and I've never felt more healthier. I also exercise but ensure that I eat enough for energy and performance. My father believes that if you don't eat meat that you are crazy and will get sick and die. He is always putting me down by calling me names and telling me "you need to start eating meat look at yourself in the mirror, you look disgusting and like a Skelton". It really hurts my feelings because before when I was chunky he would tell me to loose weight and now that I have he still manages to find a way to put me down. It makes me feel like I'm never good enough. Today he told me we had to talk, so we did. He asked me where or who told me to stop eating meat and I replied no one I decided myself. He then got angry and threatened to go to the school (which I don't care about because I know they are understanding). He also said that if I don't start eating meat or continue doing "this treatment that I'm doing" he'll kick me out. He asked me why I'm always angry at him as if he hasn't done anything wrong, he's convinced that it has to do with my vegetarianism. I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please give me advice. I want to hash this out peacefully :)

    You said something about treatment? What is this treatment? It honestly sounds like he's just very worried and that he sees your cutting out foods a concern? The question is, is it a valid concern?

  • healthyfitgirl24
    healthyfitgirl24 Posts: 31
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    PikaKnight wrote: »
    healthyfitgirl24 wrote: »
    I decided to become vegetarian on June 23,2014. I believe it's wrong to kill animals and eat them. Everyone has their own opinions and I understand that. No one else in my family is vegetarian which makes it rather hard. At first my mother was concerned and worried like a normal mother but she came around and now supports me 100%. She buys me multi vitamins, constantly asks if I'm feeling fine, she buys me tofu,lentils and other beans, quinoa and other fake meats. She also buys me protein powder and makes me shakes on Sunday mornings. Although she is not veggie, she converses with me about my interests in helping animals. On the other hand, my father and his side of the family is always giving me a rough time. I thought he (they) would come around but he hasn't and I don't think he ever will. I believe they're really concerned because I have lost so much weight but it's only natural I mean I have removed all junk food that I once use to eat like cookies,chips,soda, juice. I only drink water, tea and fruit smoothies. I make sure to get all the vitimaians and macros I need, and I've never felt more healthier. I also exercise but ensure that I eat enough for energy and performance. My father believes that if you don't eat meat that you are crazy and will get sick and die. He is always putting me down by calling me names and telling me "you need to start eating meat look at yourself in the mirror, you look disgusting and like a Skelton". It really hurts my feelings because before when I was chunky he would tell me to loose weight and now that I have he still manages to find a way to put me down. It makes me feel like I'm never good enough. Today he told me we had to talk, so we did. He asked me where or who told me to stop eating meat and I replied no one I decided myself. He then got angry and threatened to go to the school (which I don't care about because I know they are understanding). He also said that if I don't start eating meat or continue doing "this treatment that I'm doing" he'll kick me out. He asked me why I'm always angry at him as if he hasn't done anything wrong, he's convinced that it has to do with my vegetarianism. I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please give me advice. I want to hash this out peacefully :)

    You said something about treatment? What is this treatment? It honestly sounds like he's just very worried and that he sees your cutting out foods a concern? The question is, is it a valid concern?

    That's the thing, He considers me eating healthy and not eating meat some sort of treatment. Which obviously it's not but I just don't know how to get him to understand.

  • healthyfitgirl24
    healthyfitgirl24 Posts: 31
    edited December 2014
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    mtruitt01 wrote: »
    They are afraid. They think you have an eating disorder. I honestly don't know how to educate them. Are you within a healthy weight for your body type?
    You're 19. It's your life.
    Yes I know they're afraid but they have nothing to be concerned about. I'm 5"4 wiefhing in at 118-120 pounds and I'm 18 years old.
  • Jpat0
    Jpat0 Posts: 201 Member
    edited December 2014
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    Sometimes parents don't trust things that come out of their child's mouth.

    Try showing them a documentary like "Hungry for change" (highly recommend this) "Forks over Knives" (and this lol) or "Vegucated". Watch them first and see which one is closer to the message you are trying to send to your father's side of the family.

    I have been a vegetarian for 14 years, I'm 23 now. There isn't much that you miss out on to be honest. Pasta, burgers still taste good. You can ask me for vegetarian recipes that are AMAZING. My sister eats meat but says she prefers the vegetarian stuff over non-veg meals most of the time.

    Let me know how it goes, I hope things turn out well. If he still doesn't understand, I'm not sure of a solution at the moment but I'll think of one for you if it doesn't work out.
  • healthyfitgirl24
    healthyfitgirl24 Posts: 31
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    Jpat0 wrote: »
    Sometimes parents don't trust things that come out of their child's mouth.

    Try showing them a documentary like "Hungry for change" (highly recommend this) "Forks over Knives" (and this lol) or "Vegucated". Watch them first and see which one is closer to the message you are trying to send to your father's side of the family.

    I have been a vegetarian for 14 years, I'm 23 now. There isn't much that you miss out on to be honest. Pasta, burgers still taste good. You can ask me for vegetarian recipes that are AMAZING. My sister eats meat but says she prefers the vegetarian stuff over non-veg meals most of the time.

    Let me know how it goes, I hope things turn out well. If he still doesn't understand, I'm not sure of a solution at the moment but I'll think of one for you if it doesn't work out.
    My father and his side of the family would never agree to watch a film. I think I'm just going to work hard and hopefully move out soon. And thanks!!! Could you friend me and send me some recipes? :-)
  • Jpat0
    Jpat0 Posts: 201 Member
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    I'm really sorry to hear that :( I hope this doesn't leave a bad memory of your father. I'm sure he's just doing what he thinks is right for you. It's sad that people aren't educated about vegetarians and vegans.

    Anyways, I would still recommend you to watch the documentaries. I think you will like them :)
  • Jpat0
    Jpat0 Posts: 201 Member
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    OMG, I was just looking at recipes and it gave me a good idea! I hope it's good, and not just in my head lol. You can cook them a healthy but delicious vegetarian meal. They can see first hand that it's nutritious and tastes good too :)
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
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    I'm 35 and when I transitioned my family into being vegan ( husband and 3 kids) I got the "I'm concerned about you" talk from my mother. She only now, 2 years later conceeded that my children aren't starving to death, they appear healthy and growing normally. Any time you make a break from the norm, people are apt to be concerned. If you stick with it over time, hopefully your father will come around. Maybe tell him that his name calling isn't going to change your mind.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
    edited December 2014
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    I think your parents are worried about your weight also. How much do you weigh and how tall are you? How much did you weigh before you went vegetarian?

    Do you have brothers and sisters? Older or younger?

    Assuming your weight is not an issue, perhaps you could go see the doctor and have a discussion between you and your father with your doctor helping to clarify things to satisfy your father's concerns. I would suggest you go and discuss all this with the doctor first and ask them to help explain to your father that your food choices are not a health risk for you.

    If anger is the main issue between you all, then a family consultation with a psychologist or family therapist would also be a good idea.

  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Some people fear change. Some take offence that you are deviating from what they know and hold dear. I and my two sons went vegan 2 years ago for ethical reasons. My husband only eats fish for meat. My kids have had to patiently answer question after question, but continue to do so. I'm not sure why everyone seems so interested in what they eat, but it's always in good humour. You have to be brave and stick with your convictions, otherwise you are not living your life. Be healthy and vibrant --Good Luck!
  • healthyfitgirl24
    healthyfitgirl24 Posts: 31
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    Patttience wrote: »
    I think your parents are worried about your weight also. How much do you weigh and how tall are you? How much did you weigh before you went vegetarian?

    Do you have brothers and sisters? Older or younger?

    Assuming your weight is not an issue, perhaps you could go see the doctor and have a discussion between you and your father with your doctor helping to clarify things to satisfy your father's concerns. I would suggest you go and discuss all this with the doctor first and ask them to help explain to your father that your food choices are not a health risk for you.

    If anger is the main issue between you all, then a family consultation with a psychologist or family therapist would also be a good idea.

    I'm 18 years old, I wiegh 118-120 pounds. I use to wiegh around 150 pounds before but my wieght loss also resulted from exercising and clean eating. I cut out all junk food and "empty calories" I once use to eat EVERY single day. And yes I have 4 brother, 3 older ones and 1 younger one. What bugs me the most is that my brothers eat pure garbage they eat chips,cookies and all that stuff we shouldn't eat every single day. You would think that it would make more sense to be concerned about them then someone who eats veggies and fruits for snacks.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
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    Your height?

    The metabolism of boys/men is faster than girls and when they are in the growing phase they can eat a ton. But at some point they will need to improve their diets if they don't want to end up with weight problems.

    I think its great that you are vegetarian and trying to eat healthy food. But restricting your food severely or trying to be as skinny as many models is unhealthy and can have long term health effects and as well as set you on a path of yo-yoing with your weight.
  • healthyfitgirl24
    healthyfitgirl24 Posts: 31
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    Patttience wrote: »
    Your height?

    The metabolism of boys/men is faster than girls and when they are in the growing phase they can eat a ton. But at some point they will need to improve their diets if they don't want to end up with weight problems.

    I think its great that you are vegetarian and trying to eat healthy food. But restricting your food severely or trying to be as skinny as many models is unhealthy and can have long term health effects and as well as set you on a path of yo-yoing with your weight.

    5"4 is my hieght and yeah I totally agree with you on that one! & I'm not trying to be model skinny I'm just trying to expand my life years and live as happy and healthy as I can. I want to also build muscle which is why I'm taking a bunch of protien and working out!!!
  • ladyofthelakeontario
    ladyofthelakeontario Posts: 36 Member
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    What does your mother have to say about your father telling you that you look "disgusting" and calling you names?
  • healthyfitgirl24
    healthyfitgirl24 Posts: 31
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    ladyofthelakeontario wrote: »
    What does your mother have to say about your father telling you that you look "disgusting" and calling you names?
    It makes her upset and tells me that everything he's saying is not true and reassures me that I look fine and beautiful. He usually says that when my moms not around so Im not sure if she has said anything to him or not.

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