Vegetarian
healthyfitgirl24
Posts: 31
I decided to become vegetarian on June 23,2014. I believe it's wrong to kill animals and eat them. Everyone has their own opinions and I understand that. No one else in my family is vegetarian which makes it rather hard. At first my mother was concerned and worried like a normal mother but she came around and now supports me 100%. She buys me multi vitamins, constantly asks if I'm feeling fine, she buys me tofu,lentils and other beans, quinoa and other fake meats. She also buys me protein powder and makes me shakes on Sunday mornings. Although she is not veggie, she converses with me about my interests in helping animals. On the other hand, my father and his side of the family is always giving me a rough time. I thought he (they) would come around but he hasn't and I don't think he ever will. I believe they're really concerned because I have lost so much weight but it's only natural I mean I have removed all junk food that I once use to eat like cookies,chips,soda, juice. I only drink water, tea and fruit smoothies. I make sure to get all the vitimaians and macros I need, and I've never felt more healthier. I also exercise but ensure that I eat enough for energy and performance. My father believes that if you don't eat meat that you are crazy and will get sick and die. He is always putting me down by calling me names and telling me "you need to start eating meat look at yourself in the mirror, you look disgusting and like a Skelton". It really hurts my feelings because before when I was chunky he would tell me to loose weight and now that I have he still manages to find a way to put me down. It makes me feel like I'm never good enough. Today he told me we had to talk, so we did. He asked me where or who told me to stop eating meat and I replied no one I decided myself. He then got angry and threatened to go to the school (which I don't care about because I know they are understanding). He also said that if I don't start eating meat or continue doing "this treatment that I'm doing" he'll kick me out. He asked me why I'm always angry at him as if he hasn't done anything wrong, he's convinced that it has to do with my vegetarianism. I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please give me advice. I want to hash this out peacefully 
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Replies
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I am not a vegetarian myself but I do support the way of life and am an animal lover. There is no easy way to handle this situation but perhaps a mediator would help? maybe a school counselor? Just be patient and show him respect in the same way you want him to show you love even if he disagrees with your chosen lifestyle.0
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Figure out a way to make nice with him.
Also, usually arguments about food are not really about the food.0 -
I have been a vegetarian for 22 years now (having decided not to eat meat when I was 15). Not only are you choosing a more ethical lifestyle but you are statistically more likely to be healthy- less chance of heart disease, stroke, cancers, diabeties (I could go on).
I would recommend you watch your iron levels as they can drop if you aren't eating properly and supplementing with at least vitamin b. It looks like you are doing really well though. Are you vegetarian or vegan though? Veganism is more likely to be seen as an extreme way of eating and if you come from a traditional thinking family they may find it all a bit radical. And just out of curiousity how much more weight do you intend of losing? You look pretty slim to me.
Perhaps your dad sees you losing weight and is blaming it purely on the lack of meat. Is the issue he is worried about your weight loss rather than the fact you have turned veggie. Believe me- you can be fat and vegetarian!
Could you ask your mum to sit and explain to your dad why this new way of life is so important to you and then get her to sit with you whilst you discuss it with your dad? You could also tell him your intentions with regards to your weight loss i.e. how much further you intend to go.
Can you cook? Perhaps you can cook your dad a really tasty vegetarian meal and show him that you can eat well. I have lots of 'meat eating' friends who are quite happy to eat veggie but their feedback is always that it needs to be tasty- lots of flavour needed!
Probably, at the end of this- he is just worried about you and people dont always know how to express their emotions so it could come out as anger. I think the previous posts are probably right too.
Good luck! It quite hard to make a major change in your life if you have to fight your family along the way but stick with it if you really believe in it and prove to them it is not damaging your health and in fact it is helping. They will come round eventually!0 -
Maybe your mom can 'work him over'. Have a chat with her about it.0
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That's a tough situation but I think its great that you are acting on your values. Health wise, people have been eating vegetarian diets for centuries and as long as you are eating a healthy mix of foods you will be fine.
He is probably reacting to your weight loss and blaming it on vegetarianism. Assure him know you are being careful with your health and paying attention to necessary nutrients. Just be careful to track your weight loss so you don't fall below a BMI of 18.5.0 -
I've been vegetarian my whole life (I'm 19 now) and haven't experienced health problems because of it. You just have to make sure you're getting enough protein (sounds like your doing this no problem) and all those nutrients that you would've easily gotten from meat (iron especially). Maybe try explaining that to your dad and show him some pictures of healthy vegetarians online (google images probably has some). Also, the idea about having your mom help you out could work or it could backfire. Not knowing your dad, I don't know if he would see that as you too ganging up on him. It does sound like you all might wanna get someone outside of the family involved to help peacefully resolve this though. Best of luck!0
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When my brother lost a lot of weight rapidly, I was concerned. He was furious at me for making a big deal over it and saying he needed to see a doctor. One day, while he was changing clothes, I physically carried him naked through the house and dropped him in front of my parents. He wanted to kill me, but my parents finally realized I wasn't exaggerating the problem. They dragged him to the ER, where he spent a week in the hospital (Turns out he had Type 1 Diabetes).
I say all that, because when I look at your profile picture, I don't see a healthy young women. There appears to be no muscle tone in your arms, and your hands look gaunt. I don't know you situation, but I URGE you to go have a check up with your doctor. If he tells you everything looks fine, then you can go back to your parents and tell them. If he's concerned about your health, then maybe your parents have been right.
A few $$ spent on a wellness checkup can end the bickering with your parents and assure you that you have been right. Please do it.0 -
if only all people realised that being veggie didnt mean that you were unhealthy. I am overweight by a lot - i have been veggie for over 20 years - crisps and chips and cake are all my downfall. Ive tried cutting the carbs down because I was eating 70% per day but I find it hard to stick to as good protein sources like some dairy I do not like
Wish more people understand0 -
Often when people go vegetarian they lose a lot of weight because everything about the way they eat changes. They're more mindful of what they are eating and they begin to cut out more than just meat. But others around them just see them losing a lot of weight and attribute it all to the meat or lack of it.
It sounds like there may be more to your dads behaviour than just the vegetarian issue. And that's not something you can change. But you can show him that you are doing positive things with your health.
If possible, go to the doctor and have him run tests. Test your iron and other vitamin levels. If the results come back that everything is great, show your dad. Have your doctor explain to your father, or write a note to him, that you are healthy and doing well. If the results come back that some things aren't great, then you can take the steps to fix that and your dad can see that as well. I tend to recommend people getting a full work-up after being vegetarian for a few months just to make sure they're doing things well.
Show your dad your food diary on here. Show him what you are eating, how you are meeting your targets. Use the numbers to show him you are okay.
My in laws don't understand why I'm vegetarian or how it is healthy. They are heavy meat-eaters and would never give that up. They think that meat is the only source of protein (little do they know, I get more protein in my diet than they do.) Some times people make up their minds about something and you can't change it.
I'd start with showing your father about how you are medically in good shape and go from there. If you're not doing well medically, then his concerns are warranted (even if he's displaying them in a terrible way) and you can make sure you get yourself to your healthiest place.0 -
I agree that it's got to be deeper than just the food. Is it possible he thinks you are judging him for eating meat and he's being super-defensive? I've been vegetarian for 20 years and I find that certain people always hassle me about my diet, but they are the same ones who will talk about how judgemental vegetarians are. For the record, I never comment on others' food choices unless they ask, and even then, I try to be as diplomatic as possible.
Father-daughter relationships are so complicated, and if he feels that you are judging him or don't see him in the same way you used to, he could be feeling hurt and lashing out. Obviously he isn't expressing it very well if that's the case, but his comment that you seem to always be angry with him might be a clue to the deeper issues. Is there any way you can tell him that your choice to become vegetarian is not an indictment of him and his lifestyle and that it doesn't change what he means to you?
If he is really worried about you becoming a weakling skeleton, you could always tell hime to google "Mac Danzig" or "Patrik Baboumian" (UFC fighter, and world record strongman, both vegan)0 -
No I have never judged him or implied that I think of him differently because I don't think that way! I understand that some people choose to eat meat and others don't. That's what is so frustratingMakePeasNotWar wrote: »I agree that it's got to be deeper than just the food. Is it possible he thinks you are judging him for eating meat and he's being super-defensive? I've been vegetarian for 20 years and I find that certain people always hassle me about my diet, but they are the same ones who will talk about how judgemental vegetarians are. For the record, I never comment on others' food choices unless they ask, and even then, I try to be as diplomatic as possible.
Father-daughter relationships are so complicated, and if he feels that you are judging him or don't see him in the same way you used to, he could be feeling hurt and lashing out. Obviously he isn't expressing it very well if that's the case, but his comment that you seem to always be angry with him might be a clue to the deeper issues. Is there any way you can tell him that your choice to become vegetarian is not an indictment of him and his lifestyle and that it doesn't change what he means to you?
If he is really worried about you becoming a weakling skeleton, you could always tell hime to google "Mac Danzig" or "Patrik Baboumian" (UFC fighter, and world record strongman, both vegan)
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I spoke with my school counseler and nurse and this is the only solution that we could think of. I'm gonna speak to my mom about it and ask her to make an appointment.Often when people go vegetarian they lose a lot of weight because everything about the way they eat changes. They're more mindful of what they are eating and they begin to cut out more than just meat. But others around them just see them losing a lot of weight and attribute it all to the meat or lack of it.
It sounds like there may be more to your dads behaviour than just the vegetarian issue. And that's not something you can change. But you can show him that you are doing positive things with your health.
If possible, go to the doctor and have him run tests. Test your iron and other vitamin levels. If the results come back that everything is great, show your dad. Have your doctor explain to your father, or write a note to him, that you are healthy and doing well. If the results come back that some things aren't great, then you can take the steps to fix that and your dad can see that as well. I tend to recommend people getting a full work-up after being vegetarian for a few months just to make sure they're doing things well.
Show your dad your food diary on here. Show him what you are eating, how you are meeting your targets. Use the numbers to show him you are okay.
My in laws don't understand why I'm vegetarian or how it is healthy. They are heavy meat-eaters and would never give that up. They think that meat is the only source of protein (little do they know, I get more protein in my diet than they do.) Some times people make up their minds about something and you can't change it.
I'd start with showing your father about how you are medically in good shape and go from there. If you're not doing well medically, then his concerns are warranted (even if he's displaying them in a terrible way) and you can make sure you get yourself to your healthiest place.
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healthyfitgirl24 wrote: »
I spoke with my school counseler and nurse and this is the only solution that we could think of. I'm gonna speak to my mom about it and ask her to make an appointment.Often when people go vegetarian they lose a lot of weight because everything about the way they eat changes. They're more mindful of what they are eating and they begin to cut out more than just meat. But others around them just see them losing a lot of weight and attribute it all to the meat or lack of it.
It sounds like there may be more to your dads behaviour than just the vegetarian issue. And that's not something you can change. But you can show him that you are doing positive things with your health.
If possible, go to the doctor and have him run tests. Test your iron and other vitamin levels. If the results come back that everything is great, show your dad. Have your doctor explain to your father, or write a note to him, that you are healthy and doing well. If the results come back that some things aren't great, then you can take the steps to fix that and your dad can see that as well. I tend to recommend people getting a full work-up after being vegetarian for a few months just to make sure they're doing things well.
Show your dad your food diary on here. Show him what you are eating, how you are meeting your targets. Use the numbers to show him you are okay.
My in laws don't understand why I'm vegetarian or how it is healthy. They are heavy meat-eaters and would never give that up. They think that meat is the only source of protein (little do they know, I get more protein in my diet than they do.) Some times people make up their minds about something and you can't change it.
I'd start with showing your father about how you are medically in good shape and go from there. If you're not doing well medically, then his concerns are warranted (even if he's displaying them in a terrible way) and you can make sure you get yourself to your healthiest place.
That's not even me in the picture!!! Not saying that I have muscle or anything but Im a little more heavier then the girl in the pic. I only used that pic because I really love the shirt and its from PETA hahahaCave_Goose wrote: »When my brother lost a lot of weight rapidly, I was concerned. He was furious at me for making a big deal over it and saying he needed to see a doctor. One day, while he was changing clothes, I physically carried him naked through the house and dropped him in front of my parents. He wanted to kill me, but my parents finally realized I wasn't exaggerating the problem. They dragged him to the ER, where he spent a week in the hospital (Turns out he had Type 1 Diabetes).
I say all that, because when I look at your profile picture, I don't see a healthy young women. There appears to be no muscle tone in your arms, and your hands look gaunt. I don't know you situation, but I URGE you to go have a check up with your doctor. If he tells you everything looks fine, then you can go back to your parents and tell them. If he's concerned about your health, then maybe your parents have been right.
A few $$ spent on a wellness checkup can end the bickering with your parents and assure you that you have been right. Please do it.
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I don't plan on loosing wieght, I just use this app to track my macros and Vitimans especially my protien and iron intake. I also use it as a way to maintain my current wieght which is 118-120. At 5"4, 120 is the ideal wieght so I plan to stay around this wieght. On the other hand he thinks that 120 is too low and that I should GAIN wieght even though he was the one that encouraged me to loose wieght in the first place.emmawoodchuck wrote: »I have been a vegetarian for 22 years now (having decided not to eat meat when I was 15). Not only are you choosing a more ethical lifestyle but you are statistically more likely to be healthy- less chance of heart disease, stroke, cancers, diabeties (I could go on).
I would recommend you watch your iron levels as they can drop if you aren't eating properly and supplementing with at least vitamin b. It looks like you are doing really well though. Are you vegetarian or vegan though? Veganism is more likely to be seen as an extreme way of eating and if you come from a traditional thinking family they may find it all a bit radical. And just out of curiousity how much more weight do you intend of losing? You look pretty slim to me.
Perhaps your dad sees you losing weight and is blaming it purely on the lack of meat. Is the issue he is worried about your weight loss rather than the fact you have turned veggie. Believe me- you can be fat and vegetarian!
Could you ask your mum to sit and explain to your dad why this new way of life is so important to you and then get her to sit with you whilst you discuss it with your dad? You could also tell him your intentions with regards to your weight loss i.e. how much further you intend to go.
Can you cook? Perhaps you can cook your dad a really tasty vegetarian meal and show him that you can eat well. I have lots of 'meat eating' friends who are quite happy to eat veggie but their feedback is always that it needs to be tasty- lots of flavour needed!
Probably, at the end of this- he is just worried about you and people dont always know how to express their emotions so it could come out as anger. I think the previous posts are probably right too.
Good luck! It quite hard to make a major change in your life if you have to fight your family along the way but stick with it if you really believe in it and prove to them it is not damaging your health and in fact it is helping. They will come round eventually!0 -
That's not even me in the picture!!! Not saying that I have muscle or anything but Im a little more heavier then the girl in the pic. I only used that pic because I really love the shirt and its from PETA hahaha
Oh, good. Cuz that girl really doesn't look healthy to me! I still think going to the doctor for a check up would be a great way to show you dad your living a healthy lifestyle.
Other than that, if he was critical of you for being overweight, and now he's being critical of you losing weight, then I would imagine your dad is just a critical person. Does he tend to point out the flaws in everyone? If so, there is no reason to think you would be exempt. That's why I don't let gossips tell me stuff about other people, because I know they are doing the same thing to me.
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Ah, ok. The piccie confused some of us it seems. Stick to your values and keep working on it. I'm sure he'll either come round or give up about the vegetarianism in the end. And if not you can always point out that you are an adult now and this is an adult choice. End of conversation!0
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