Shame and the Gym

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13

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  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 7,784 Member
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    I'm always glad to see a regular who has been gone for awhile. :)
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
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    Ashleyr91 wrote: »
    Here's the problem; while I have an elliptical in my house and I am perfectly capable of going for a walk or a run outside, I really want to go back to the gym for more variety. I want to get rid of my elliptical because it takes up a lot of space.

    But I'm embarrassed to go back to the gym because of how much weight I've gained back over the past year due to certain circumstances.

    I feel like if I go back I will be the person people roll their eyes at. "Oh my god she's back again and she looks like a beached whale. Wonder how long she's gonna stick around this time before she slides back into the ocean."

    But I finally have a stable schedule at my new job. I finally have actual time to set aside for the gym. I want to go back but I worry too much about what people think.

    My question is, be brutally honest, what would you be thinking on the other side of this situation?

    I know my fears are probably ridiculous but the anxiety of it all is getting to me.

    I would be thinking what I always think when I see an overweight person (or any weight person) working out, swimming, or riding a bike: Wow, good for you for exercising!
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    Ashleyr91 wrote: »
    My question is, be brutally honest, what would you be thinking on the other side of this situation?

    If I don't see you there every day, I don't recognize you. I wouldn't notice that you've come back/gained weight/whatever else. I'm not social at my gym, and unless you are, most people won't notice. Everyone's there focusing on themselves.
    mrsmartinez99 wrote: »
    I understand exactly what you mean. When I go through and use the machines I feel like someone is always waiting to use it, and that they believe I'm wasting time because it looks like it hasn't worked so far.

    The only people I think are wasting time on the equipment are the ones who sit there on their cell phones for AN HOUR without doing a single set. If you're working out, take the time you need - you're there trying to accomplish your goal just as much as I am. Don't feel bad about it. Own it.

  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Sweetie, I'm a swimmer. I get in the pool at the same time as the triathletes. I'm 5'2" and got started at 260 lbs. (Having gained about 30 lbs from when I had been working out regularly before)

    NO-ONE CARED. No-one is mean, and I'm not seeing any mean facial expressions, either.

    The ONE comment I got was, "Good to see you back in the pool."
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Just back from the gym, but am sure all the others have said. Nobody is that interested in anyone else really unless its a group of friends. The vast majority are in the gym for the same reasons you are, which is ti get fit and they will hardly notice you.

    I have great respect for the people who are making an effort to get fit and the ones who regularly show up at the gym and make an effort. Start small and increase over time.
    Its 80% diet, but gym has great benefits not just weight loss, plus you feel you are making an effort. Please dont worry and there will be a zillion people in January all wandering around clueless, some of them will stick it out. You can do it. Good luck.
  • Ruzuki
    Ruzuki Posts: 136 Member
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    I got a weekend membership to the YMCA, and everyone there seems to mind their own business, myself included. I felt really awkward there the first month but... actually Ive only been going there a month so I still feel awkward but Im getting over it lol.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    It's hard, but honestly, you just have to get over yourself and go do what you need to do. That's not coming from a place of being snarky, but rather from one of empathy. :)
  • flatlndr
    flatlndr Posts: 713 Member
    edited December 2014
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    rjmwx81 wrote: »
    I think I speak for about 99% of gym-goers when I say the only time anyone is going to pay ANY attention to you is when you're using a machine they want to use.

    So true. And probably how I've struck up conversations in the gym ... either me looking to work in with someone on a machine, or them looking to work in during my rest between sets.

    As far as noticing others, I notice two types ... the ones with the builds I want to achieve, and the ones with the build I had when I started. I admire both. The first because they're where I want to be, the second because they are working hard to get to that better place.

    I hear lots of conversations between people in the gym, but I've never heard any snide comments to those who are "work in progress". The only voice you're hearing is the one in your head.

    ETA: There are a really fit people in my gym ... I'm nowhere near them. However, they either nod or say hello to me now ... because I keep coming back. My biggest lift doesn't even come close to their warm-up set, but they recognize that I'm working hard. The only people they're sneering at are the ones sitting at home, digging into the bowl of potato chips.
  • Lucknawi
    Lucknawi Posts: 21 Member
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    Don't worry about what they think. If anything thinks badly of you coming back then that's their problem and not yours. You're doing this for you so it should only matter what you think about you going back and how hard you're going to work for yourself.
  • SallyPDXer
    SallyPDXer Posts: 18 Member
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    I started going to the gym a few weeks ago after a long hiatus. I am the most out of shape I have been in years but I don't really care what other people at the gym think about me. It's not my problem. That first time back the pushy sales people did single me out as the most out of shape person there and tried to sell me personal training but they were very nice about it. And it didn't stop me from coming back. And a few days later when I came back to work out again they congratulated me for coming back.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,975 Member
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    I think it's great when larger people come to the gym and work out -- as long as they are working out and not just sitting in the gym waiting for fitness to come to them. There are plenty of muscleheads at the gym who have a great physique but are dumb as a stump otherwise -- someone who can actually benefit from their workout and is doing what they can to help themselves should never be looked down upon -- get in their and sweat!!!
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
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    I go to gym and pay attention to my own workout and 99% of the time do not even notice people or remember who they are lol. I am terrible, but thats how i like it. I do my thing and get out. Even in group classes, i only follow the instructor and i leave. I do not notice anyone nor do i chat up.
  • Yakelmeyer
    Yakelmeyer Posts: 49 Member
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    When I'm at the gym, I look around and feel glad that we are all there working toward a common goal. Regardless of size and fitness, every person I see is putting time toward themselves and actively choosing to be a healthier person. We are all part of a team: the Fitness Force. Go for it. It is just one more barrier thrown in your way that you will Beast Mode your way through.
  • njitaliana
    njitaliana Posts: 814 Member
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    I would think the same thing I think when someone returns to MFP--oh, good, I am glad they are back and working on their health again.
  • brain328
    brain328 Posts: 74 Member
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    I first started working out at 300 lbs and I was absolutely embarrassed. I walked out of more than one group class because I didn't want people to look at me. I decided to only work out at the nearly-always empty gym at my apartment complex, and do videos in my apartment. Looking back I wish I wouldn't have cared what other people thought. I have lost about 100 lbs and when I see "larger" people in the gym I applaud them. Everyone starts somewhere, and if someone feels the need to make fun of another person trying to get healthy and better themselves than it's probably a problem they have with themselves anyways.

    I say sell that old elliptical and get your butt to the gym! You'll be glad you did. And who knows, maybe there's someone else going there that's just as nervous as you are and they need a friend :)
  • wholenewme03
    wholenewme03 Posts: 95 Member
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    I think that people at the gym are more focused on themselves than everyone else. Go back and do your thing!
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    I never think I'm that interesting or unique that anyone would even think anything about me at my gym. People are much more interested in themselves than what anyone else is doing at the gym.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    I am a regular at my gym; I'm there often enough that the people who work there know me.

    This is not meant to deflate your bubble, but speaking for myself anyway, I would not even notice you. When I'm there, I'm there to do my thing, get done, so I can go home and be done with it.

    Don't worry about what anyone thinks of you. Why does it matter anyway? So if someone thinks something bad about you - what's going to happen? Nothing. Except that someone you don't know thinks something bad. Who cares. Never let someone live rent free in your head. Do you own thing.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
    edited December 2014
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    The gym is not just a place for the already fit to congregate, it's a place for people to get fit and then it becomes a place to maintain that fitness. Everyone starts somewhere...nobody was born with a barbell on their backs.

    I would also add that the vast majority of people who are in the gym are there to work...I know I don't have time to keep track of when the last time I saw so and so was and I definitely don't pay enough attention to anything to know whether so and so gained weight since the last time I saw them or whatever. There are probably a handful of people like that...because you find them anywhere...but they are definitely in the minority and certainly not worth worrying about.

    Usually when I walk into the gym and take a look around and see everyone working out I'm like, "hell yeah...look at all these people rockin' this *kitten* and getting their fitness on!"...unless there's too many people and I'm like, "damn...going to have to wait for the power rack tonight."
  • sheldonklein
    sheldonklein Posts: 854 Member
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    I'm sure this speaks poorly of me, but I would likely say "hooray, I'm not the only fat person here."

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