Why we shoot deer in the wild

UGatorBaitF
UGatorBaitF Posts: 21 Member
edited September 26 in Chit-Chat
Why we shoot deer in the wild

(A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this)

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, and feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly
concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a
step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then received an
education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when
you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer
is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That
thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and
certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope
was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is
that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off
my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to
realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big
gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I
just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and
the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by
bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground,
I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance
that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it
lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set
before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I
started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite
somebody, so I was very surprised when..... I reached up there to grab that
rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is
not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then
let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite
HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was
likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the
tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that
rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back
feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are
surprisingly sharp ... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a
horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the
best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move
towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can
escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not
work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I
screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been
told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is
a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so
different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as
evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the
head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do
instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there
crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I
know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to
sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true so help me God...

An Educated Farmer

Replies

  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Deer 1
    Farmer 0
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    m220308541.jpeg

    Seriously though, that was pretty interesting. Sounds logical enough for me to shoot 'em.
  • brndygrl98
    brndygrl98 Posts: 196 Member
    OMG....ROFL!! Both hilarious and not funny at the same time!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Lol.

    I was actually hoping for a real experiment to have taken place that showed how corn feed actually affects the flavor of meat and the health of the animal in a negative way, which it does, and that only feeding an animal its natural feed, generally grass, is best for everyone, which it is.

    But, this was amusing none the less. Though at just about every step of the way I said, "Duh!" Anyone who has watched deer should expect everything that happened.
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
    OMG, you just fed my redneck roots! I'm laughing so hard. Sounds exactly like the kind of thing my dad or brother would pull! Tears are streaking down my face!!!!!
  • UGatorBaitF
    UGatorBaitF Posts: 21 Member
    Exactly the reason for the post NoAdditives...lol, get everyone laughing a little....Laughter is great for ya!!! WOOT!
  • UGatorBaitF
    UGatorBaitF Posts: 21 Member
    OMG, you just fed my redneck roots! I'm laughing so hard. Sounds exactly like the kind of thing my dad or brother would pull! Tears are streaking down my face!!!!!

    Glad to hear it!!!!!! wanted to give some peeps a good laugh!!
  • brittanyscherich
    brittanyscherich Posts: 355 Member
    They also will die if their heart rate gets too up there. If you would have caught the deer. he would have been dead before you got it home.
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
    OMG, you just fed my redneck roots! I'm laughing so hard. Sounds exactly like the kind of thing my dad or brother would pull! Tears are streaking down my face!!!!!

    Glad to hear it!!!!!! wanted to give some peeps a good laugh!!

    Its kind of like the nights we have sat around a camp fire, cooking weinies and listening to family stories. Hillarious!
  • Angie80281
    Angie80281 Posts: 444 Member
    Thanks, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    They also will die if their heart rate gets too up there. If you would have caught the deer. he would have been dead before you got it home.

    So true. My mom and I tried to save a baby deer that had been separated from it's mother and had been chased and mildly injured by coyotes. The poor thing died before we could get to the vet's office which was only 5-10 minutes away.
  • UGatorBaitF
    UGatorBaitF Posts: 21 Member
    Thanks, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!

    Glad to hear it....have another one if you want to laugh even harder....

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/232348-pocket-taser-stun-gun-a-great-gift-for-the-wife?page=1#posts-3065426
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
    I'm trying so hard not to laugh too loud so I don't wake up the kids that I'm literally in tears...thanks!:cry::laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    tommyboydeer.jpg

    I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that... was... *awesome*. but, sorry about your car, man. That... That sucks.
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    OMG, you just fed my redneck roots! I'm laughing so hard. Sounds exactly like the kind of thing my dad or brother would pull! Tears are streaking down my face!!!!!

    Glad to hear it!!!!!! wanted to give some peeps a good laugh!!

    Its kind of like the nights we have sat around a camp fire, cooking weinies and listening to family stories. Hillarious!

    This ^^ I totally heard this story in several of my uncles' voices. Any one of them could have been the story teller. Thanks for the laugh!!
  • redhead91
    redhead91 Posts: 251
    I grew up in MT and a deer got in my friend's house. I can attest that a deer exhibits all of these behaviors. I hate deer so much.
  • frostiegurl
    frostiegurl Posts: 708 Member
    He should have known better. More people are killed by deer each year than any other animal.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Laughing my *kitten* off.
  • redhead91
    redhead91 Posts: 251
    He should have known better. More people are killed by deer each year than any other animal.

    Are you serious? (sarcasm is hard to gauge on the internet) Deer aren't even in the top 10 most delay animals. Either way it WAS pretty stupid to try and rope a deer. They're super athletic and they have freaking hooves for goodness sake! And of course they're going to bite you! This whole thing makes me laugh and shake my head.
  • Cori615
    Cori615 Posts: 100
    Omg glad your not dead ! Well this is good to know in case I ever run into deer. Don't grab it, it's not Bambi lol
  • wwagw72
    wwagw72 Posts: 45
    Great writing!! Very funny story that I will never tell my son, because I am sure he will want to try it to see if it is true. hahahaha
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
    I guess a deer is a like a skunk. They look cute and cuddly on the outside, but piss one off and they sure raise a stink!
  • chevysarah
    chevysarah Posts: 188
    Awesome, absolutley awesome!
  • UGatorBaitF
    UGatorBaitF Posts: 21 Member
    woot!
  • GouletB
    GouletB Posts: 50 Member
    Bahahaha! Awesome!!!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    :laugh: Thanks for sharing!
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
    Proof that there really are amazingly stupid people on this planet. Thank you!
    Once in a while I start thinking that most people use the brains that God gave them. Then I consider the reality that Wow, nope people are still pretty stupid.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Oh my land!! That is so funny!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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