Others who also have severe mental health problems and need to lose 100+ lbs?

nightglo · December 2014

I've gained and lost so many pounds over the last decade I've lost count - all I know for sure is that I am at the highest weight I have ever been in my life (over 300lbs - I am afraid to actually weigh myself because it will just send me into a destructive spiral). Just this year I've counted calories two separate times, losing and regaining over 30 lbs. I've kicked some nearly fatal compulsive habits but eating for comfort is my last resort now if I am desperate just to get through the moment. I hope others who struggle day to day (minute by minute sometimes..) who understand can join me on this journey. It's also hard, of course, because many medications for mental health problems cause weight gain and now I have hypothyroidism as well.

Would love to hear that I am not alone. I just want to feel better again.

softblondechick · December 2014

I don't think enough research has really been applied, or addressed to mental health disorders and obesity. I used to eat myself into a comatose state, just for the escape. Not unlike a Borderline Cutter, who cuts to reduce pain. I also used to go into "food mania", like a bi-polar, in a manic state, but I was in a daze of shopping at the store for food, because for some strange reason, having tons of food, shopping for food, even food I could not afford made me feel, "secure", it was very surreal. And I would make the food, cooking several dishes, and then eating them all, in a manic frenzy, not stopping until the weekend was over, only to realize all I did all weekend, was cook, and eat.

Depression, being overwhelmed...feeling out of control, worthless, and low self esteem.

How does anyone recover from all of that?!

Change. Slowly. I made "rules" for myself, "no eating fast food", "take lunch every day", measure food, no more pizza, or ice cream. I would allow myself ice cream, but like I was an addict, I refused to have any in the house, if I really wanted ice cream, I could have it, but it meant leaving the house, and buying a single cone, not too easy if the ice cream craving hit at 11 pm...

As for psychotropic medication, it is not an exact science, and I do better without any psychopharmacology. It may help some, but just made me ravenously starving. I don't need that kind of "help".

You are not alone. Things can change, just make one change, if that is all you can manage, it is better than giving up.

RebeccaMaunder · December 2014

I can say that I understand. I have bi polar and social anxiety disorders. I have also struggled with eating disorders for years because of them. I'm also over 300. However I think there is how. I have started to life a little bit of weight by using mfp. I make small exercise goals for myself and try to watch what I eat... Though I have a lot of mess up days I'm still trying and that shows. If you need a friend feel free to add me.

rahnia · December 2014

I get you. At one point was living minute by minute. It does get better. Not going to give you the "light at the end of the tunnel" speech. For all we know, that light could be a train speeding toward you!

Instead, I can tell you, exercise helps mental illness, regardless of what you have.

I was on a anti-psychotic & literally doubled my weight in 3 years. My heighest weight was 307. I am now 177. It's taken a year of meticulous logging. And I mean HONEST logging. The good, bad & ugly.

So many people love pleading ignorance, to their own detriment. You are obviously aware of your illness. Try to start noticing & accepting your accomplishments, no matter how small. Once you start logging daily, I promise you will be more aware & get on a roll. You'll be amazed at the leaps you take. Try writing things down & reflect back when you get down & appreciate what you have done.

Chin up, you can do this.

nightglo · January 2015

Cheers all for the responses. Rahnia - what was your caloric intake goal of each day that you managed to get back down to your regular weight in a year?

I've lost over 60 lbs by counting calories, my problem is that I get super strict once I start losing and then suddenly one day it all snaps and in the same amount of time I've gained it all back plus some. Now when I try to honestly count calories I lose SO much slower and now I'm terrified that it won't work unless I restrict to 1200 calories or something and there is no way I can live like that. When I lost over 60 - I was doing 1500 a day and I admit it was damn hard. This past summer I lost 25 lbs (just to gain it all back) and I was aiming for 1700 a day and it didn't feel like I was being deprived at all, but I tried it again and it didn't work so well (I think I was waking up and eating in the middle of the night and forgetting ??).

Either way, I now have tremendous stomach problems (pain/pressure/acid reflux often into my mouth) so I know I need to eat better for that. In addition to possibly starting an MAOI which has diet restrictions, and of course exercise itself is a great antidepressant if I could just get into the habit. I'm already feeling discouraged and I haven't even given it an honest try yet this time. And so it goes.

xixshaiyaxix · January 2015

I have major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder and I have taken psychiatric medications since I was 15. I have 100 pounds to lose and I am sure that at least half of that extra weight I have put on has been because of my meds. I was on Seroquel for years and I strongly believe that was the culprit to my excessive weight gain. I believe weight gain is a symptom to greater problems and mental illnesses are one of the main reasons.
I am slowly finding the help that I need and putting in the work to get into a healthy state. But it has taken me years because of the lack of openness about mental health and the overall stigma. I hope this new year can see me finally starting to make a dent into my goals, I am tired of going around in circles. It is time to take some steps forward. I wish the best for everyone. Blessings.

lilmisssunshine123 · January 2015

Finally someone who understands me. I am bipolar (depressed with anxiety) and i am almost 300lbs. I too am afraid to weigh myself or go to the doctors because it makes me more depressed which then i lean to food for comfort. My husband is a skinny little fella but he too uses food for comfort and has anxiety but he moves around alot at work and probably doesnt eat as much as me, i just nees some support on here as well to stay motivated and encouraged. Its tough to lose weight i am trying to lose 100lbs before the end of the year.

nightglo · January 2015

I am so distraught about how much I have to lose that I haven't managed to eat a single thing yet today. I know I'm just setting myself up for failure but I'm afraid once I start to eat that I won't be able to stop. I understand Shaiya about the seroquel - I worked very hard to get off of it and just recently decided to start taking it again because of how badly I was/am doing. I did a washout and completely stopped both my antidepressants 3 weeks ago and this was supposed to be so I could start a different one, so I started it and then changed my mind and now I'm just taking seroquel. I'm in a hell of withdrawal and don't want to trust anyone or any thing (medication) because hope is more painful than anything else. I want to just eat enough take out for 4 people and get smashed. Not sure how this night will turn out.... if I will manage to make myself something with all the fresh good food I bought the other day, or cave into depression/anxiety/impulsiveness. Lilmisssunshine, what is your calorie goal each day to lose 100lbs in a year?

rahnia · January 2015

Seroquel was definitely the culprit for me!

Nightglo - Completely get the whole being too restrictive/obsessive. What helped me was gaining an understanding of how weight loss differs for all. Really great to read other people posts, regardless if it applies to you or not. Gaining an education about food, exercise, psychological & physiological processes is nothing short of empowering.

MFP has me on 1200 because I set my activity level to Sedentary & I add my daily exercise on top of that. I aim to eat half my exercise calories back. So, I burn 600 - 800 calories a day via exercise, therefore, on average, I eat between 1500-1600 daily respectively.

I had been very strict before the holidays, changed my exercise routine & scale was not budging, but inches were coming off. Then on Christmas day, I ate ate my maintenance amount & the scale finally moved down. My body was telling me I required a little extra intake in order for it to function well.

It's taken a year to get to know, appreciate & understand my body. Don't restrict yourself, try to understand why your body reacts or craves the way it does.

All the best.

jillxmadelynne · January 2015

I deal with anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. I started meds at 12 and spent a year in and out of the hospital at thirteen. When I went into the hospital the first time I was trying to cope by not eating. During that year a combination of new meds and replacing a lack of eating with binge eating I gained nearly 100 pounds. Years later I am doing a lot better (certainly not perfect) with my mental health, but I am trying to learn to have a healthy relationship with food. On my bad days I still go back to food. I could quit my other 'coping' mechanisms, but am still working on properly dealing with food. I am going to send you a request, support is key!

eringraczyk · January 2015

Although I don't have 100+ pounds to lose ("only" about 50-60), I have depression and hypothyroidism, too, so I'm right there with you, Nightglo, on those issues. My meds have been adjusted recently, so I'm hoping I start to feel better soon. Although I can't articulate why, can't put my finger on a specific trigger, I've been on a self-destructive streak since about late October. This has got to change. I hate how I look and feel. I hate that clothes don't fit--in the basement, I literally have an entire closet of clothes I can no longer wear, some brand new with tags still on. Like lilmisssunshine, my husband is a skinny thing (I swear he has worms!), but he eats like there's no tomorrow. Thus, I haven't really had support from him; he just doesn't understand what it's like to be overweight or the emotional part that goes with it. At one point, I had lost 90+ pounds from my heaviest weight, being a mere 6 pounds from getting out of the overweight category based on BMI. Over the holidays when I saw people I don't see often, I felt like they were all staring at me and thinking, "God, she's gained a lot of weight," which was horrible since just a couple of Christmases ago, it was "Wow, what have you done? You look fantastic!" Feel free to add me, any of you, if you want. Cheers to reaching many goals this year!

mykaylis · January 2015

i peaked at 287 lbs. i take 14 pills a day all of which are related to my not-so-functional brain. every one of them has a weight side effect. i've had severe depression (now diagnosed bipolar II but i almost never have hypomania) my whole life. i also have anxiety, epilepsy and asperger's. my brain is fun

i'm kind of new here but am around 230 now, so i'm heading into the right direction.

Elsie_Brownraisin · January 2015

I try to accept the fact that I usually gain weight when I am depressed, due to lethargy, overeating and extra medication.

For me it's not realistic or healthy to say 'I'll never be that size again' - whilst I don't want to get to my start weight, it's not the end of the world to gain a bit. If I have been in hospital, it appears to be inevitable because there's nothing to do except eat and paint pebbles there.

I have gained 4.5 kilos over the last 3 months, but have been off work with depression and had a rather large increase in the amount of antipsychotic I take and am only just starting to feel ok with going out of the house and going to the pool/gym, though still having off days. Exercise helps hugely in keeping well in the first place, but it's difficult if I reach a point of feeling very low.

There's a book called 'Food and Mood' that you may want to have a look at. I didn't get on with it so much because I was having CBT at the time I read it and was already doing a lot of mood charts and activity schedules and things.

Feel free to add me if you like. I started with around 100lb to lose, have bipolar and also hypothyroidism (lithium induced, yay!)

nightglo · January 2015

Wow I could not even comprehend trying to eat only 1200 - I know you said you exercise so you eat more than that- but burning 600 calories a day with exercise? Holy *kitten*. I can barely manage (literally) 4000 steps a day (I got a tracker thingy for XMas) between slightly swollen feet/calves and being extremely out of shape. I feel so out of control. I used to do high intensity interval training at the gym 3-4 times a week. I have a treadmill at home now and can realistically try to walk maybe 10-15 minutes a day right now, so I'll make that a goal. I want to cry from self-hatred just writing that.

I was at a good 1500 calories last night (well, tonight, I haven't slept yet) but then I got so unbearably anxious, restless, and upset that I ate a pizza and a half. Four hours later and I am still painfully sick and can't lie down yet because of the pressure and acid reflux from it. I know one day at a time so I will just start again tomorrow with better choices, but damn I've never had such a terrible start to counting calories.

Somewhat unrelated - does anyone here have experience with MAOI antidepressants? Did they work, and how long until you noticed if it worked for anxiety and/or depression? I am fairly hopeless any med will work so now I am refusing them (other than a small amount of seroquel because otherwise I will go right off a cliff) but some relief would sure be good so I could focus on other areas of my health..

I'm embarrassed writing this so publicly but I'm hitting send anyway. .

markiend · January 2015

lithium and trycyclics use , pushed this skinny 23 yr old to his highest ever , just short of 200lbs when normal weight was 130-140.

fwiw the last time i was prescribed prozac , it took roughly 3-4 months to kick in, that too caused gain but to be honest at the time it was the lesser of 2 evils

i have always been of the mind that a health care pro will know more than me and i go with ( and take ) what they give me

Others who also have severe mental health problems and need to lose 100+ lbs?

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