Is it Bullying? What is It?

jofjltncb6
jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
edited November 9 in Chit-Chat
Interesting communication from local elementary school. (And yes, the bolded part was actually bolded in their original communication.) Glad to see that they are addressing the inappropriate application of certain words. I wonder if the children will be able to understand these distinctions better than many adults here seem to do.
Is it Bullying? What is It?
When incidents are reported to us we address them with students within the framework of the Fab 4 or our Core Values: Respect, Responsibility, Caring and Trustworthiness. After looking into some incidents reported to us as Bullying, we find the word Bullying is overused or misused.
At [school name], we want students to understand the differences among: Teasing, Conflict, a Mean Moment and Bullying. In assemblies and in classes with their Buddy, students are learning:

Teasing occurs when everyone is having fun, no one gets hurt and everyone is participating equally,

Conflict occurs when no one is having fun, there is a possible solution to the disagreement and there is an equal balance of power,

Mean Moment is when someone is being hurt on purpose and it is an isolated event (does not happen regularly), and

Bullying occurs when someone is physically, socially or emotionally attacked, and being hurt on purpose. It happens more than once over a period of time and there is an unequal balance of power.

Please use these terms at home with your child to help reinforce their meanings.

Replies

  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    It is important to have context like this. For a while, they were really overusing the term bullying at my kids' school, and people were crying "bully" about everything.

    Over time, they've gotten better at making meaningful distinctions like this.

    If everything is bullying, nothing is.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    *Like*
  • Burt_Huttz
    Burt_Huttz Posts: 1,612 Member
    I'm just glad bullies are finally catching a break. For far too long, simple taunting, casual beatings, and minor theft have been treated like serious crimes. Holden Caufield, Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer, Tom Swift, Johnny Quest . . . all children punish others for fun. It's normal and right. Cheers to your school for finally drawing the distinctions and letting kids be kids.

    With love,
    Burt
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I am specifically friends with you for the bullying, mean moments, conflict and teasing.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    This should be stickied
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    In....

    and this should be made a sticky for MFP ...as the word "bully" gets tossed out way too much ..

    but in ..for the "mfp is mean people" that will soon invade this thread...
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    In for teasing..
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    I like what ndj1979 said!
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Tagging as I am sure this will be a good place to direct people to when they throw out the word bullying willy nilly.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    This is just what I would expect a bully to post.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    This is great. Simple, clearly defined terms to help a child, parent and teachers all know what is acceptable, where lines are drawn, and at what point action is needed.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    edited January 2015
    I especially like that they indicate that mutual teasing among equals is acceptable.
  • RHachicho
    RHachicho Posts: 1,115 Member
    A tricky subject. While I see your point actual bullying does occur. We have to be careful not to swing the scales the other way and end up with genuine bullying being overlooked again like it was in my youth. I was constantly ridiculed for being fat and not Caucasian. To the extent that my school day was basically a game of staying out of sight long enough to go home. Luckily I was always large and well muscled too so I was never physically bullied. I am sure I would have been if I was an easy target though. Distinguishing between genuine bullying and people crying bullying to resolve their social conflicts is all good. But letting kids be kids? No thanks. Kids can be very very cruel.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Seeing as three of the four of these require handling anyway, it seems like an awful lot of work to go thru to prevent Jr. from saying he was bullied versus "mean momented" by Billy. Pretty sure they arent gonna use these terms anyways, Jr will+just say billy had him+in a stranglehold or something. And whoever misuses terms it will juat be semantics. Unless there are more severe consequences for "bullying"...are there? For children at schools or for adults on this site?
  • Jerry1001
    Jerry1001 Posts: 43 Member
    I don't know, but I think I was bulled into coming to this topic. I need to read the rules again to make sure.
  • Holla4mom
    Holla4mom Posts: 587 Member
    A much needed clarification on the subject.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Yep.
  • da_bears1008
    da_bears1008 Posts: 354
    Yes
  • myfelinepal
    myfelinepal Posts: 13,000 Member
    Gosh, planning to educate children that the world is not just black and white, good and bad. Stahp with the logic. It's gonna be pretty hard to implement though as there will be grey areas amongst the grey areas.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    myfelinepal wrote: »
    Gosh, planning to educate children that the world is not just black and white, good and bad. Stahp with the logic. It's gonna be pretty hard to implement though as there will be grey areas amongst the grey areas.

    I'll take working within the grey areas between grey areas though...because that's a decent life lesson to understand too.

    While we're at it, let's distinguish between fingernail clippers with nail files and pocket knives.

    I'M TALKING TO YOU TOO, TSA!
  • SwashBlogger
    SwashBlogger Posts: 395 Member
    It should be noted that there are just as many true "bullies" in the adult population as kids. They just grow up and enter into relationships with non bullies. Let's also please teach our kids not to fall prey to the pathetic charade from which a true bully operates. As the kids say "call 'em out on their sh#t"
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    I posted the link to this helpful post in the
    "Has anyone noticed the rampant negativity on this site" thread from a few days ago.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/30776600#Comment_30776600
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    myfelinepal wrote: »
    Gosh, planning to educate children that the world is not just black and white, good and bad. Stahp with the logic. It's gonna be pretty hard to implement though as there will be grey areas amongst the grey areas.

    I'll take working within the grey areas between grey areas though...because that's a decent life lesson to understand too.

    While we're at it, let's distinguish between fingernail clippers with nail files and pocket knives.

    I'M TALKING TO YOU TOO, TSA!

    What's wrong with pocket knives? If you're a man and you don't carry one in my region, you will be endlessly ridiculed. Just another example of the matriarchy keeping men down.
This discussion has been closed.

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