Must eat all the food ...

Pseudocyber
Pseudocyber Posts: 312 Member
edited September 26 in Food and Nutrition
Ok, so here's where I do the typical thing and blame my parents. As a kid, my parents - or really my Dad - made me sit at the table until all my food was gone. Now, I struggle to pay attention to the "I'm full signal" and stop eating - even if there's food on my plate, even if there's food on my kids plates, even if there's still food in the serving dishes.

Someone recommended I use a salad plate, instead of a regular plate - then it looks like I ate all the food on my plate, but the portions are smaller.

I really have to bite my tounge not to harass my kids about eating all their food. It's hard, but I don't want to pass this compulsion on to them.

Anyone have any tips?

Thanks,

PC

Replies

  • cjjones007
    cjjones007 Posts: 602
    I had the same Father and Grandmother lol - They would do the same thing to me... My Grandmother even "fixed my plate" for me ugh.

    I finally started leaving food on my plate.
    I'd eat twice as slow (or even three times) and then as soon as I was no longer hungry. I stopped.
    Whatever was left - I made myself eat as lunch the next day.
    What I found was that roughly HALF the food on my plate was being moved to the next lunchtime - so I realized that I had basically been eating twice as much food as I ought to... At every meal... YIKES!

    After 13+ months... I can tell you that I put less on the plate and finish it. I've also learned to just leave it on the plate if I don't want it... Especially at restaurants which are the toughest...
  • skinnyhopes
    skinnyhopes Posts: 402 Member
    Serve yourself and the kids. Use smaller portions at first and put more in if your truly hungry.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    I serve myself, weigh it on a scale, and feel great when I eat every last bite. I know exactly how much I ate, and know that it is a good size for me.
  • Losingitin2011
    Losingitin2011 Posts: 572 Member
    Something my sister does, and I love is sets a required number of "bites" based on her kids age of each item on their plate. For example, my younger nephew is 8, so he has to take at least 8 bites of each item on his plate, veggies, grains, meat. If he does that and is full, he's done, but no dessert. If he cleans his plate, then he gets dessert. It works really well for her kids.
  • cornerofgreystreet
    cornerofgreystreet Posts: 180 Member
    This is one thing I am really trying to instill in my kids. The rule at our is "stop when your tummy is full". I am sure there have been times when they used this as a way to get out of something (vegetables!) that they didn't want to eat, but for the most part I believe that I am doing them a great service by teaching them to listen to their bodies and read their own cues. I applaud you for realizing how the opposite approach can be damaging and trying to do the right thing for your kids. Good luck!

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  • butterfly0126
    butterfly0126 Posts: 16
    I too was raised the same way. My mom just wouldn't have it if you tried to waste food. I do think using a smaller plate helps and it takes time to get use to but that is all i use now. I also have kids and i try not to push them to eat all their food and i make them clear their plates so the temptation is not there to pick at theirs. Another tip i would suggest is once all the plates are dished up is put whatever is leftover in the fridge right away or ask your husband or kids to do that part so it helps you stay out of the kitchen. Good luck, you can do it!!
  • MyNameIsNotBob
    MyNameIsNotBob Posts: 565 Member
    It's up to parents to provide healthy food.
    It's up to kids to decide how much (and of what) to eat.

    It's that simple. If they don't eat what's served, there will be another snack or meal in a few hours. Of course, you would always provide at least one choice that you know your child likes, and several other healthy options.

    If you start with this attitude from the beginning, there won't be any battles over food, any control issues, etc.

    Good luck.
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
    Yep same parents but it was because we were not able to afford a lot most meals were like Spanish rice big pan cheap price, spaghetti etc only one dish not like meat, potatoes and veggies and desert. So if we didn't finish we were told about the starving kids in China. Too this day if I go to a restaurant I can not leave food in any form, I can not throw it out it has to com home with me even if it is only one bite. So I do have to watch portion always. I never made the kids eat all of theirs but I would finish it off because you do not waste food and it lasts a life time
  • tn2010
    tn2010 Posts: 228 Member
    We started dishing up salad plates about a year ago and we almost always dish our plates up in the kitchen and bring them to the dining room. The only dish that stays on the table in a serving bowl is our salad. I never make my kids finish their plates, but I only give them a tiny bit of food (and then seconds if they ask for them). If my kids choose not to eat the food, I make it clear that they won't eat again until breakfast the next day. Smaller portions for the kids makes it easier for them to "clean their plate" and makes sure that they don't waste food (if that's your goal) and try a variety of foods (if that's your goal).
  • MyNameIsNotBob
    MyNameIsNotBob Posts: 565 Member
    Oh, and never use food as a reward, or withhold food as punishment.

    Desserts are not a "reward" for eating your dinner. They're just yummy treats.
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    My 7 year old son has to eat "most" of the meat on the plate. Anything else I let slide (normally, any veggies I serve he likes so he'll eat it - it's the protein I have a problem getting him to eat). What's funny is he'll finish - then get dessert - then come back to his plate if he's still hungry. I try really hard to make sure his portion sizes are appropriate (it's too easy to give the same amount I give myself). I ONLY use salad plates (or bowls). It makes it easier for me not to over-indulge.

    Oh yea... his desserts are 1/2 of whatever the package is (or one cookie, one piece of candy, etc.). I pretty much have him trained to take 1/2 of anything. He'll come up to me at a birthday party with an itty bitty piece of candy and ask if he can have half. He's shocked when I tell him he can have the whole thing. :laugh:
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    Practice. :)

    Seriously, I grew up in the same environment and had to unlearn it myself. It just takes continuously biting your tongue but at some point you won't have to force yourself to be quiet. For yourself the salad plate is a good idea or just make sure you're measuring and weighing out your portions so you learn what a proper portion size is (assuming that's an issue.) And learn to let yourself leave what you don't want.

    At this point, if I don't want it I'm not eating it because I'm not wasting my calories on something I don't even want! :)

    Good job realizing that this is an area you don't want to pass on to your kids.
  • treadingpurple
    treadingpurple Posts: 53
    My family was the same way, and still is. Whenever i go to my parents house, its like my mom and grandmother still say this to me. I have tried to explain to them that when I am full, I can't eat anymore, but it doesn't help sometimes. So, I still have the habit of eating everything on my plate, just to avoid an argument. But, as a result, I feel sick later in the evening from having too much in my stomach (anyone with gastroparesis knows this all too well).

    Anyway, at home, I use a small toddler plate to eat off of, so it looks full when filled, but its full of smaller portions. Gerber makes good plates for this and can be found in the baby section of any store or on Ebay. The same goes for stuff that goes in a bowl. I use a small bowl for that purpose.

    I also found that I don't put anything on my fork or spoon until I am done chewing up what is in my mouth. This causes you to feel full faster.

    Jessie
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
    My mother always told us that we could always go back for seconds if we were still hungry, but we had to finish whatever we put on our plates. It worked. We never over-filled our plates, 'cause we knew we HAD to eat it, but the option to have more was always there so there was no pressure. I :heart: my mom!
  • Pseudocyber
    Pseudocyber Posts: 312 Member
    Oh, and never use food as a reward, or withhold food as punishment.

    Desserts are not a "reward" for eating your dinner. They're just yummy treats.

    You know, that's a REALLY GOOD POINT ... I, and a lot of people, have "emotional eating" issues - tired, eat. Happy, eat. Good day, reward! eat. Bad day, commiserate and eat.

    If we use deserts - sweet food specifically - as a reward - whether it's a celebration or because they did something good (like eat all their dinner) - are we instilling in them the emotional eating issue?
  • MyNameIsNotBob
    MyNameIsNotBob Posts: 565 Member
    Oh, and never use food as a reward, or withhold food as punishment.

    Desserts are not a "reward" for eating your dinner. They're just yummy treats.

    You know, that's a REALLY GOOD POINT ... I, and a lot of people, have "emotional eating" issues - tired, eat. Happy, eat. Good day, reward! eat. Bad day, commiserate and eat.

    If we use deserts - sweet food specifically - as a reward - whether it's a celebration or because they did something good (like eat all their dinner) - are we instilling in them the emotional eating issue?

    The short answer is "Yes." http://www.betterschoolfood.org/downloads/resources/BSF_Food_Rewards.pdf

    And, really, how screwed up is it to say, "You need to eat MORE food before you have SUGARY dessert?"
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