What to do with so many social distractions/events?

uketasha
uketasha Posts: 8 Member
edited November 9 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi! I am trying to lose 20-30 pounds. I say 30 but I am not sure if I can stick it out that long. I am giving myself four months to do this. I am feeling bad though. I have many events in February that are going to derail my diet efforts. One is the Policemen's Ball that I will go to with my husband. That's in February and I want to look good for that- so I will be at my 1/3 point there. I'm fine with that. The problem is that a week before that, I have a three day business trip that I am nervous about as well as a Beer/Wine Tour for a friend's birthday that I already said I would go to. I feel on the business trip that I could just order salads and do my best not to drink with my work buddies. The real problem is what to do about the Beer/Wine Tour birthday party. They are renting a limo and everything. I don't want to drink and with all three of these events totaling five days in February- that it will make me fall off the diet wagon. I am an all or nothing personality and I really just have to have routine and strength. I want to tell my friend that I can't go on the Beer/Wine Tour. I feel bad because that means my husband has to go alone or not at all. I feel like a party pooper and a downer. I will feel like a party pooper when all my work buddies go out too and I don't. Please help!!!

Replies

  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    Stop being all or nothing or resign yourself to being a hermit. Parties, business trips, social gatherings happen. It's part of life. Unless you fully plan on giving those things up forever, you need to learn how to deal with them. Eat and drink moderately. Get some exercise. Realize it's not the end of the world if you go over your calories for a day.
  • crundle15
    crundle15 Posts: 5 Member
    When I know I have an event coming up I'll eat a tad below my usual amount earlier in the week so that I have a few extra calories to play with on those days.
    You could also do an extra workout early in the morning on the days of your trip so that you have some extra exercise calories to eat back.
  • uketasha
    uketasha Posts: 8 Member
    A great idea crundle :)
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    Exercise a little self control. Learn to say " no " once in a while. These social events don't derail you. You derail you. Overconsuming is a choice. Nothing makes you fall off the wagon but you. Take some responsibility for your actions. If you truly hold this goal important, you can and WILL make it happen. If you blow it off and throw it away, then it wasn't really all that important to you in the first place now was it.

    What's it gonna be? You have a series of choices.

    Make them wisely, and with your goals in mind.

    Exercise some discipline for once in your life.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    Get caught with one of your husband's friends.

    Problem solved.

    :drinker:
  • uketasha
    uketasha Posts: 8 Member
    Thanks chubby checkers :)
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I agree with the others. Make it work. Indulge a little less and plan a little more, but still attend and enjoy.

    My biggest suggestion to you is to totally change your timeframe AND mindset about this stuff.

    Instead of giving yourself 4 months...how about a year...or more. Set the goal of losing 30 lb in a year and then blow it out of the water!! Or, if 30 is really all you need to lose, then you will have a fairly smooth time of getting there in a year. Why kill yourself losing it in 4 months and then go back to "normal" and have to do it all again in the future? Set yourself up to succeed and be happy at the same time through moderation and a smaller deficit.

    As for the mindset of on or off the "diet wagon"...I don't mean to sound critical, but I used to be like you in the way of thinking very black/white. I was morbidly obese so it was even more serious than for many dieters...but for years I was like, "OK it's time to do something about this weight" so I would eat very healthy, no indulgences, workout more, and then get burned out & realize it was futile and go back to "normal" (i.e., off the wagon). Wound up losing very little weight that way and staying the same for years and years. I HAD TO CHANGE MY ATTITUDE. At age 38, I am at a healthy weight for the first time since I was literally a child (age 12), but I simply couldn't get there thinking in black/white terms.
  • HawtTamale
    HawtTamale Posts: 35 Member
    I just experienced this myself. I had gone out Saturday night and drank and ate, and then the next day they all wanted to go to brunch. Well, I had originally agreed to go, but in the sober light of day I knew that I would overindulge again. To those saying, "If you don't stick with your health goals, despite all the temptations, then it's not important to you," I agree - however, early on it's really difficult to put all your chips on "willpower" when you KNOW its failed you in the past. C'mon - I'm 34 have been morbidly obese almost my entire life...obviously, I have a problem with willpower. But it's a muscle, too, that will be strengthened, and one day I'll be able to go to brunch and be happy to eat the salad and drink water while everyone else drinks mimosas and chows down on eggs benny. Right now, I couldn't do it. So I didn't go. And guess what - I made the best choice for me. Some were upset, some thought it was great, some didn't even notice I wasn't there. Who cares. I made the best choice for my health at the time. Best part, I'm still successfully achieving my health goals. I wasn't derailed. I didn't overindulge. I feel fantastic, and I'm really happy about my choice.

    My point in all of this is simply, do what is best for you. Your husband will understand. Your friends will understand. If you want to go and not overindulge, ask your husband to help support you. If you don't want the hassle of the temptation, stay home. Sometimes we're over-allocated and it's ok to tell someone, "I'm really sorry, but I won't be able to make it." In the end, the only person you need to be happy, is you.
  • starskl
    starskl Posts: 10 Member
    What I do in these situations personally is say to my self, right, YOLO. I have another 6 days in the week to do my thing, so don't go over board on the night and this week is all about weight maintenance.

    However I do see you have a fab list of social occasions coming up! I'd play it sensible on the business trip, don't over indulge on the wine trip and enjoy the ball. You'll do your self more harm worrying about than anything else - you'll be rushing around more and probably burn off extra calories from that anyways!

    Like I said, realistically I'd aim to maintain your weight over your events and re-start the weight loss afterwards, don't deprive yourself of having fun, enjoying your time with friends and family, just be sensible about it. Make the healthy choices were you can.

    Hope that all makes sense!! Xxx
  • CleanUpWhatIMessedUp
    CleanUpWhatIMessedUp Posts: 206 Member
    I completely understand. I have that same personality where going off the diet for one day just makes you want to quit.
  • uketasha
    uketasha Posts: 8 Member
    You are all great and I appreciate the advice.
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