Sorry for the sad post

Options
bostonfit
bostonfit Posts: 34 Member
in Motivation and Support
I recently lost my mother to a horrific car accident, and I experienced a very sad break-up last week. I am at a very depressing point in my life, and it's hard because I usually have such a sunny disposition. Do any of you have any coping tips? What makes you happy? What makes you get out of your head for a little while and not feel the weight of the world on your shoulders? Thank you in advance for any answers.
«1

Replies

  • mariamathsgeek
    mariamathsgeek Posts: 236 Member
    Options
    I'm so sorry for your loss and break up. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I keep it under control with running. I know a lot of people who run for stress and to deal with difficult times in life. Might be worth a try?
  • Raynne413
    Raynne413 Posts: 1,527 Member
    Options
    So sorry to hear about the bad time you are going through.

    For me, being outside (when it's not so friggin' cold) always tends to boost my mood, especially if it's sunny. Music, both listening and playing. And working out, especially some kind of dance, always seems to help. And animals, like the adorable cat in your photo. My kitty never fails to make me smile, even when I want to kill her. :)
  • bostonfit
    bostonfit Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Thank you so much @mariamathsgeek. I will definitely give it a try.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I"m so sorry for your loss. And your breakup. I think it's just going to take some time. In the meantime, call on your friends and spend time with people who love you. Work out to reduce stress. Forgive yourself for the bad days.

  • FarmallMom71
    FarmallMom71 Posts: 49 Member
    Options
    I lost my Dad last year. He was in a car wreck 7 yrs ago and I watched him end up as a quad & slowly die for 6 very long years. My therapy through it was music, hot baths, talking to friends A LOT, keep busy, focus on yourself, spend free time fixing your weak spots, and my favorite is long car rides in the country. * A Mom is more than a Mom... she is a best friend, a protector, giver of unconditional love and that leaves huge void... just like a Dad does (I'm forever Dad's girl) so fill that hole with sunshine. Dance like no one is watching. Live for her... and your smile will slowly come back. -There will always be tears, but happiness does come back! The tears sometimes fall as happy memories too. *** And if someone doesn't love you 100% through thick and thin and sadness...then you don't need them. *Ps... I also used food to fill my void, thus I gained weight big time... don't try food because it doesn't work.
  • FarmallMom71
    FarmallMom71 Posts: 49 Member
    Options
    It lost a bit... Im very sorry for your loss... friend me if want to chat.
  • killerqueen21
    killerqueen21 Posts: 157 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry :( But really, the best thing you can do is just grieve. You're going to have to. It's going to rear its head either now, or later. Just allow yourself to grieve.
  • jmauerhan
    jmauerhan Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    Exercise gives you endorphins and endorphins make you happy! Anyone who watched Legally Blonde knows this :)

    In all seriousness I am sorry for your loss. Since you asked how to get your mind off it and feel better for a short time, exercise WILL help :)
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    Options
    I am truly sorry for your loss and the breakup. This is a hard time in your life. Losing loved ones is never easy. It is cliché, but the passage of time will help.
    Your happy, sunny, upbeat disposition is a gift. Try to focus on the happy times. It isn't easy, but keep trying! {{{{bostonfit}}}}
  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    Options
    Again, I'm so sorry for your losses. I think it's important to give yourself time to grieve, and 'permission' to find normal things hard and to need your own space.

    Things I do when I'm hurt or feel down include:

    - Exercising. This releases endorphins, alleviates nervous energy and promotes better sleep.
    - Keep myself busy, and try to see someone close to me every day. Sometimes I find that hard as my tendency is to wallow and tuck myself away, but social contact really does make me feel better.
    - Treat myself nicely! Think of kind gestures you might make to a friend who was sad, and do them for yourself. So I might buy myself a new DVD/book, make my favourite pudding, treat myself to a massage... Anything that makes me feel good about myself.
    - Positive self talk. Remind yourself of your good points, of your achievements, of your good relationships, even if just for a few minutes a day.
    - I eat properly, dress as if I have someone important to see, and play energetic music loudly!

    I'm sorry if these don't help - I've suffered my fair share of break ups but bereavement is something I have been lucky enough to escape so far. But I hope you find something useful in this thread, and that you feel more like your usual self again soon.
  • jmauerhan
    jmauerhan Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    yesimpson wrote: »
    Again, I'm so sorry for your losses. I think it's important to give yourself time to grieve, and 'permission' to find normal things hard and to need your own space.

    Agreed, it's okay to take some time to adjust
  • Bellodesiderare
    Bellodesiderare Posts: 278 Member
    Options
    I'm very sorry for your loss and break-up *Hugs*. I wish there was something - anything - I could say to ease your pain. When I'm down I like to run; long slow distances really help clear my head. I've even cried on runs before. It feels good to release those emotions. Lifting heavy is also a great way to release stress. I wish you the best of luck, Boston.
  • kellycasey5
    kellycasey5 Posts: 486 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry for the hard times you are going through. *HUGS*
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Options
    crying. for days. without being judged for crying really hard and not making any sense. It's the only way for me to relieve pressure.
  • Lonestar5775
    Lonestar5775 Posts: 740 Member
    Options
    Those are two very personal and devastating losses and I cannot express how sorry I am for you. I would only say one thing, grieving is not something that may be switched off or avoided. Seek support through friends and/or people who have experienced the same type of loss. FarmallMom had some good advice. I sincerely wish you the best.
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    Options
    My condolences to you and your family for your lose it is never easy to lose a loved one and then to add a break up, that can be a lot to handle. The first thing you should do, is to talk about it with someone, they don’t even have to be someone that is in your direct family. Someone that knows you and cares and that will listen is what is most important, you need to talk about the pain and not hold it inside.
    For me Music and a good comedy really help lift my spirits. I like the classics for both, for me Dean Martin’s “When You’re Smiling” or Nat King Coles “Smile” are two songs that lift me. But any song that makes you happy when you hear it will work.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8m7phKd1nw
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-WqFUnqhSc
    And what I also have found that works for me is that I believe that our family and friends that have left this world are still around us every day and that they never truly leave us. The live on in us and how we live.
    I wish you the best and remember to “smile.”
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
    Options
    NCServant wrote: »
    Those are two very personal and devastating losses and I cannot express how sorry I am for you. I would only say one thing, grieving is not something that may be switched off or avoided. Seek support through friends and/or people who have experienced the same type of loss. FarmallMom had some good advice. I sincerely wish you the best.

    Well said. Remember to let yourself grieve and just get by as best you can right now. Be good to yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Also, don't "compare" your grief to others. It may seem that someone is doing better than you are, but it doesn't matter. It's all about letting yourself heal first so that you can move on. Time is the only thing that makes the pain bearable.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Options
    Allow yourself to be sad for a while.

    Honor your mom somehow with a project of some sort.

    To mourn the loss of something like a relationship, I find a ritual helpful. The Unitarian church has a burning ceremony where the griefs and regrets from the past year are ritually burned in a brazier. I found that tremendously freeing.

    If you are cheerful by default like me, you will find it again. In the meantime, allow sadness to do it's work.
  • bostonfit
    bostonfit Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Wow. I am beyond touched by these posts and words of advice. It's incredible how compassionate people can be when we've never even met. I am truly touched. I will take all of this advice and use it, I promise. Again, you all will never know how much this means to me. Thank you. <3
  • Roxiegirl2008
    Roxiegirl2008 Posts: 756 Member
    Options
    I am sorry for your loss. These are two very hard experiences to go through. Allow yourself time to heal and try no to be to hard on yourself during this time of healing.

    For me I use running and gym time to clear my head. I have also found that I really like Body Combat (kick boxing type of class) when I am having an overly stressful day. There is something about kicking and punching the air that makes me feel better. Some days just going to a long run will help clear my mind and take me out of my own head for a little while. I have been known to even sit down during a run and cry a little.

Categories