No idea what to do.

Jmepp123 · January 2015

So something drastic has happened and I figured I vent about it to you guys since venting is sort of healthy and we all are here to like be healthy and whatnot. So I might as well share it to y'all. Spring semester has started and I am not in my beautiful single dorm room all to myself, learning about wonderful science stuff (which is practically the only thing I'm good at.) Why fellow pals? Because I have no money to pay for fall or spring semester. Why not any scholarships? Because no one is offering any at the school and practically everything online is for next fall (and the money wouldn't be available right away). Why not loans? My parents credit is really bad, I have no income, so that cuts me out. My family members either have said no and the ones that said yes also have not so great credit and was turned down. My church, you say fellow pals? Well and I quote "if we do it for her, we have to do it for everyone else" Why not community college? Well I'm not sure I can afford that either. Get a job? Yeah got that, but I have no start date and that doesn't solve the fall semester problem. So I'm at home, bored, useless and is trying to trust in God (one of my new year's resolutions) but its hard since its something I've never done before so I'm mentally doubting while trying to be positive and the conflicting feelings are making me do one thing. Eat. And for someone who is dealing with depression and anxiety, this is the absolutely worse thing to happen and I don't know how to deal with it except to eat and binge and then want to end myself cause I'm eating and binging (the never ending cycle) and I could really use some help, support, and reassurance that everything is gonna be okay cause I don't know what to do. I'm trying to be a good Christian, but it's hard when the only way I know is fear, crying, and more fear. Learning is the only thing I KNOW I'm good at. So I would love if I could just hear that everything is going to be okay and I don't need to binge eat to satisfy my sadness. I need reassurance, even if it's from strangers. Thanks guys.

jenfigmar · January 2015

Have you tried fafsa? If it weren't for that I wouldn't be at school right now. I'm finishing my A.A. Take this semester to work as much as you can and save the money for next semester. Take one day at a time. Breathe. I know is not easy. I struggle with depression and anxiety too. It is gonna be ok. Just like happiness doesn't last forever, sadness either. It will pass. You'll find a way.

cardbucfan · January 2015

Honey, I'm sorry you're going through this. You do NOT need to binge to satisfy your sadness. It will truly only make you feel worse!

You can exercise. You obviously have access to the internet so go learn something on there!
Go to Kahn academy and learn some different science so that when you can afford to take classes at school your brain is still in shape.

Good for you for getting a job and wanting an education. Now keep your body busy and your mind engaged and step away from the comfort food. We are here for you!

And if you are truly having thoughts about ending yourself, please find somebody to talk to!!

kellycasey5 · January 2015

Please don't binge eat. I did that when depression hit, and here I am 50 pounds too heavy with all of my problems same as before. It really didn't help my sadness for more than an hour. Don't do it. It didn't work for me, and it won't likely work for you. Surround yourself with people you love (friends, family, church) even if they can't help your money troubles. You say you are trying to be a good Christian, and that you only know fear crying and more fear. Reach out to your supporters. They will help you through this difficult time. There are many ways they can help besides giving you money. Perhaps a youth group or bible study may help you. Spend time outside, be active, and try to eat as healthy as you can. Try to be kind to yourself. I am not sure what drastic thing has caused you to lose your finances during spring semester, but you are alive. You are ALIVE. The way life is working may not be the way you planned, but you are ALIVE. If you can't find another job in the meantime (and to quote my broke friends any job is better than no job if it starts today), there are many cures for boredom and use of your free time, but my favorite is volunteering. You can volunteer at a humane society, women's shelter, homeless shelter, food drives, the church you attend....maybe even brainstorm a place to volunteer where you can learn some of the things you love to learn about. Many places where you volunteer may even lead to a job, and it looks great on resumes and even college applications should you need that in the future. Getting out of the house and helping others is a great way to feel better about yourself, and to be useful. So get up, get out there, and get doing! Lying in bed bored and eating is no way to go about it. You can do this!

Khoes · January 2015

I agree with the other posts. I know you said you're dealing with depression and anxiety and that you feel like ending yourself, but truly look to the positive side of life. Feel blessed to be alive and moving. Even the smallest things we sometimes take for granted and forget how much we have. Being able to smell the rain or the flowers or being able to witness fireworks or the sky changing color or the Blood Moon. Being able to use both my arms and legs. Start small and remember that you have so much to look forward to in your future if you don't let yourself spiral down now because things aren't going well.

Like jenfigmar said look into fafsa, look into extra scholarships on the web (fastweb/zinch/chegg) things like that. Also maybe right now would be a good time to pick up a second job in a different area of work. Gain some experience, get some extra money saved and keep yourself busy so you're not stuck at home thinking about eating all the time and being bored/lonely and depressed.

Try to stay positive in all of this. I can't imagine how difficult it is going through it all, but try your best. Put in some extra effort to save some money and maybe go for community college. FAFSA will greatly help with that and community college is a great alternative to doing a 4 year if you're coming upon money issues. Just don't let your sadness overcome you. We all have different struggles in life, just remember you're not alone ever in any of your issues.

RodaRose · January 2015

Please find some one to talk to about your anxiety and worries -- doctor, therapist, . . .
A professional can help you get through dark moments.

No idea what to do.

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