Going it Alone

lswolf981
lswolf981 Posts: 1
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
My hubby is not supportive of my efforts to eat clean and exercise. We have separate pantries and shelves and drawers in the frig are divided into his and hers. We even grocery shop separately. He will deep fry anything that can be battered. I on the other hand, love lean meats and lots of green leafy vegetables and an occasional "sweet" splurge.

I often feel as though I am on this fitness journey alone. We both love food but can't share that pleasure because of our differing views. In moments of weakness and the desire to connect, I will venture to the land of deep fried.

Exercise - don't get me started - it's non-existent and unnecessary in his world. Even though, he is 100 pounds overweight, has high blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetic nerve pain and the list goes on. His breakfast consists of 14 pills and glass of milk or soda. All of which could be prevented with a few changes. I try to suggest small changes he could try but - I know - you can lead a horse to water... .

What's a wife to do?

Replies

  • Arkie_Ali
    Arkie_Ali Posts: 106 Member
    I have a similar situation as you, but not as extreme. My husband doesn't "diet", he just keeps his weight manageable by playing in community softball league. If you can't change your husband's eating habits yet, maybe you can get him to exercise with you (go for a walk, hiking, biking, join a community co-ed sports team together). If you can have him exercise with you, maybe his eating habits will change as well. I know I've been able to get my husband to open up and try (and enjoy) the dreaded likes of asparagus, brussel sprouts, and quinoa. Good luck to you!
  • jerushawinkler
    jerushawinkler Posts: 1
    Stay strong and remember that you are only responsible for your health and cannot help someone that doesn't want help. Just continue to go about this for you but don't be degrading of disapproving of him for not joining you. It sounds to me like it may be a bit of a stubborn issue mixed with a fear of failure for him. If you do your thing and let him do his while continuing to let him know you love him regardless then he will eventually join you. Especially once he sees you getting results from your efforts because he won't want to be left behind. I know it's hard going it without your spouse but we will be your support! :)
  • jasonp_ritzert
    jasonp_ritzert Posts: 357 Member
    Lead by example, don't force him.
  • gabrielagarrido
    gabrielagarrido Posts: 10 Member
    I used to be in a similar situation, but managed to change it by asking my husband to walk with me in the park. Then I showed him MFP app and downloaded it into his mobile. Now, we excercise together and lose weight together. He is as happy as me. Subtleness is the key to sucess here.
  • cbills65
    cbills65 Posts: 164 Member
    My hubby is supportive but he does his own thing. I cook separate meals for him as he doesn't like my "health food crap" and he never exercises. However he is fully on board with me eating and working out because he knows it makes me feel better physically and about myself as well. Plus I have more energy overall when I am doing the right things. I agree, "Lead by example..." Even if he just accepts what you're doing and becomes more supportive, that will help. Don't give up because he isn't on board. There are plenty of folks on MFP who will give you the support and motivation you need! Just love your hubby and accept that he is who he is, just as you are who you are. You two don't have to be alike in all you do. You can separate the two worlds - marriage and fitness.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories