I sit next to an angry person

It's a tough spot to be in. I had a similarly hostile co-worker across the aisle from me (glass walls) for months. She was finally moved, thank God. Fighting an immature person drags you down to their level and is useless. You've already figured out this woman is not terribly self-aware so pointing out that she needs to change for everyone's sanity is not going to help much. I like the idea of at least alerting your manager to the stressful environment. They need to be alerted that they may lose a valuable employee over this (you). Keep looking for work in the meantime.

http://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-tips/how-prevent-weight-gain-due-stress-and-anxiety

From this article it looks like limiting your caffeine and alcohol will help, as well as making sure you get enough sleep.
http://dujs.dartmouth.edu/fall-2010/the-physiology-of-stress-cortisol-and-the-hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-axis#.VLVcqCvF98E

While I was dealing with miss priss I used any strategy at my disposal to deal. That included putting a poster up on my glass wall so I didn't have to look at her face. I used humour whenever I could get away with it. A smile and a cheerful greeting in the morning (no response) and I left her alone.

Iwishyouwell wrote: »

hoyalawya2003 wrote: »

I always find it helpful to imagine what it must be like being that person--angry all the time. Instead of feeling attacked, and like the anger is directed at me, it makes me stop and realize that the anger is within the other person. It would be awful to be angry all the time, and that sympathy helps me to overlook behavior that would otherwise drive me bonkers. I also remind myself that I cannot change the other person's behavior, but I can change my reaction to it--do you have the option of listening to music via headphones?

This is a place of employment, not the waiting room of a psych office. Nobody should be expected to resort to listening to music in order to drown out inappropriate office behavior that's disruptive to the environment.

This chick needs to be fired and I hope the OP reports this disgusting behavior. She can have all the sympathy for her she wants on a personal level, but professionally this should not be tolerated.

I know. Must be nice to be so confident in her job that she would behave this way at work! I suspect such behaviors contribute to the very quiet security "walk outs" that we see an employee go through from time to time. Everywhere there's talk about layoffs and you'll just give your boss an iron clad reason to dismiss you???

When you talk to your manager and/or HR, mention your concern about retribution. When someone confronts her about her behavior, they can emphasize that no one is to be bullied as a result.

Also, you don't know if your complaint is the first one reported or the last one needed to make your company deal with the problem. Some employees are one step away from termination and your complaint can make a difference.

i love the idea of chewing gum as stated in a prev. post. also, the chewing on straws. (coffee stirrers) i think what the OP needs to realize is that even if this person is fired or moved, that deep insecurity of not knowing how to handle stress will NOT go away. it's not this disruptive co-worker that is the problem - it's the OP's problem. (not being rude...) you must learn to deal with things like this b/c they will repeat in your life in other areas. trying to find an "out" that doesn't involve eating is crucial. i also loved the idea of getting up every hour to go to the bathroom and to get a drink. this will break-up your day and keep you from eating. HTH

You need to report this behavior to your supervisor. You should not have to tolerate that kind of behavior at work. Any retaliation would just get the person more in trouble, so don't worry about that too much. You need to stand up for yourself. I think you will feel better if you do. Part of why situations like this cause stress is feeling powerless which you are not.

I also agree about the suggestions regarding finding ways to tune out the person and de-stress. There will probably always be something or someone like this in your life to some extent. Learn ways of coping with it, and how to assert yourself.

I was in a situation like this once, too. Not only was he incredibly loud with a horrible temper, but the person in question was my supervisor! So I had to talk to my supervisor about his yelling. (He loudly argued with his wife on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY-- sometimes more than once a day!) It was unpleasant to say the least. He was a real jerk who liked to say something nasty about nearly everything I did or said, but he did not retaliate against my complaint. In fact, after I talked to him he did try to lower his voice and sometimes would even apologize to me when he had been unusually loud. (He was still very loud, though.) So maybe the angry person in your life won't be as nasty to you as you think.

When he was at his worst, I just left my office, but you may not have that option. (I worked at a university library, so it was easy to go do something in a different part of the building.)

I did eventually get a new job. You will, too! Just don't let this situation bring you down.