Everyone is telling me I look too skinny ??

ddddddddBatman
ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
edited November 10 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi,
I started dieting on 2nd June last year and was 17stone and 4lbs when I started.
I'm now 12stone and 8lbs which is just slightly before half-way into the 'Healthy Weight' range of my BMI. I'm just over 6ft5 tall.
So whilst according to my BMI I could still lose over another stone and be a 'healthy weight', friends and family are all telling me I look "far too thin". I'm confused and don't know what to do. I want to get down to just below 12 stone and then maintain. What do people think?
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Replies

  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    I'm female, 5'8 and 12 stone

    I would think a 6'5 bloke would be a beanpole at 12 stone 8
  • jyogit
    jyogit Posts: 280 Member
    I have the same problem with friends n family saying it to me.. I've lost 2stone but I'd still like to go another half stone and lose some more body fat... Go for what you feel comfortable with.. I'm not gonna stop till I get what I want, no matter what anyone keeps saying to me..
  • ddddddddBatman
    ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
    I think the reason I want to lose more is because I still feel conscious of having a bit of a tummy that sticks out.... Is that something that will go over time? I admit I am starting to look boney in other areas of my body and my overall bodyfat must be very low.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    Hit the gym and start a lifting programme

    Stomachs are naturally concave ...I doubt at a BMI of 20.8 you have much spare fat to lose

    Put some muscle there
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
    So at 176 lbs @ 6'5 you are on the low end of a healthy BMI. Stop losing weight. Start lifting heavy things.
  • ddddddddBatman
    ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
    Isn't it better to be on the lower side of healthy though?
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
    You aren't going to get the look you want by dieting alone.
  • ddddddddBatman
    ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
    I tried weight lifting at the gym but it's not for me to be honest. It's too boring and I'm not the 'body builder' type....
  • clf1284
    clf1284 Posts: 44 Member
    Instead of focusing on losing weight, focus on toning and building muscles. Muscle burns fat.
  • LavenderLeaves
    LavenderLeaves Posts: 195 Member
    No, as long as you're within healthy range. I have to agree with Laurend224, start lifting. It sounds like you might be unhappy because of being "skinny fat."
  • DragonShoe_GCole
    DragonShoe_GCole Posts: 137 Member
    As others have suggested (specifically Laurend224 & Rabbitjb), put on some muscle mass and you won't have an issue...
  • ddddddddBatman
    ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
    Maybe you're right about 'skinny-fat'.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    ddddddddBatman wrote: »
    I tried weight lifting at the gym but it's not for me to be honest. It's too boring and I'm not the 'body builder' type....

    Well, I'm certainly not the "body builder" type, but lifting heavy has dramatically changed my body shape. It can be boring if you aren't challenging yourself, tracking your progress, and constantly setting new goals. Find a program or a trainer to help you get started. Be consistent and give it some time. I think that once you see the results you'll start loving it!
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    I'm 6'5" and at one time I was 190 (13st 8). In the pictures I have from that time, I look too thin. My goal weight is about 205, because that was a weight at which I didn't look sick. You're body type may be different from mine, so you might be able to go lower than me, but I am confident that you are too thin.
  • Lindsay_the_great
    Lindsay_the_great Posts: 209 Member
    Usually those comments are more about them than you. I am 5'5" and 9.5 stone. I am NOT skinny. I'm healthy. I've lost 2 stone in 2 years, a totally healthy rate of weight loss. For my weight I can still healthfully lose another stone and still be ok if I like. Yet I get these comments too. My mother had a friend ask if I am unwell. My MIL constantly tells me I'm "too skinny" and tells my husband not to let me lose any more weight because she's worried about me. The irony is that none of those people are a healthy weight. They don't exercise. They eat empty calories. Several comments have come from people who've had bariatric surgery. They see my success as treason, or perhaps a reflection of their own insecurities. Don't listen to them. Be healthy. Be active. Notice how your health and energy level have improved. Listen to yourself and your body. Not the naysayers.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    big_lindsay wrote: »
    Usually those comments are more about them than you.

    ^This.

    They got used to seeing you as a larger person. They haven't adjusted to the new slimmer you.

    As long as you're healthy and happy with your body, then screw 'em. What they say doesn't matter.

    If you're looking to bulk up because YOU want to, that's another story and involves, yes, weights of some sort. But if you don't care, and you're at a healthy weight, then just be at a healthy weight.

    Stop paying so much attention to what other people say.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    ddddddddBatman wrote: »
    Isn't it better to be on the lower side of healthy though?

    It's a RANGE ...devised by a mathematician in the 1800s to be used on a population level. It gives statistical significance of various health issues

    It was never meant to be used on individuals

    there is no ideal weight within the range


  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    big_lindsay wrote: »
    Usually those comments are more about them than you. I am 5'5" and 9.5 stone. I am NOT skinny. I'm healthy. I've lost 2 stone in 2 years, a totally healthy rate of weight loss. For my weight I can still healthfully lose another stone and still be ok if I like. Yet I get these comments too. My mother had a friend ask if I am unwell. My MIL constantly tells me I'm "too skinny" and tells my husband not to let me lose any more weight because she's worried about me. The irony is that none of those people are a healthy weight. They don't exercise. They eat empty calories. Several comments have come from people who've had bariatric surgery. They see my success as treason, or perhaps a reflection of their own insecurities. Don't listen to them. Be healthy. Be active. Notice how your health and energy level have improved. Listen to yourself and your body. Not the naysayers.

    The only problem with that is that you have a higher BMI than the OP. He would have to gain about 20 lbs to have the same BMI as you.
  • ddddddddBatman
    ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
    big_lindsay wrote: »
    Usually those comments are more about them than you. I am 5'5" and 9.5 stone. I am NOT skinny. I'm healthy. I've lost 2 stone in 2 years, a totally healthy rate of weight loss. For my weight I can still healthfully lose another stone and still be ok if I like. Yet I get these comments too. My mother had a friend ask if I am unwell. My MIL constantly tells me I'm "too skinny" and tells my husband not to let me lose any more weight because she's worried about me. The irony is that none of those people are a healthy weight. They don't exercise. They eat empty calories. Several comments have come from people who've had bariatric surgery. They see my success as treason, or perhaps a reflection of their own insecurities. Don't listen to them. Be healthy. Be active. Notice how your health and energy level have improved. Listen to yourself and your body. Not the naysayers.

    I tend to think you're right and what you say is true.
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
    edited January 2015
    You're not going to get rid of your stomach (unless you are going for the emaciated look) without resitance training which will lower your bodyfat% and increase your lean muscle mass. You can do bodyweight exercises, kettlebell, machines, etc. Get a good music playlist, get intense and have fun. It creates a very attractive physique, if that is important to you.
  • ddddddddBatman
    ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
    astrose00 wrote: »
    You're not going to get rid of your stomach (unless you are going for the emaciated look) without resitance training which will lower your bodyfat% and increase your lean muscle mass.

    Surely eventually I would lose the stomach if I carried on losing weight? If not why not? I don't get it. :-/
  • lalepepper
    lalepepper Posts: 447 Member
    At 6'5" and ~170 lbs I'm not too surprised that people seem concerned. It's important to remember that BMI is a RANGE, and your ideal could fall anywhere on that spectrum. I would be careful of getting too caught up in trying to be on the lower range because you think it's healthier. You likely have lost a decent amount of muscle mass and probably have a slightly higher fat % than you'd like, which would explain some of your concerns about your stomach. If I were you, I'd look in to switching to build some muscle. That will help tighten your core, give you some mass, and look more balanced. Adding muscle will also increase your BMR.

    My dad is 6'4" and his lowest weight following loss was also about 170. He definitely looked very thin, and found that doing some lifting helped him feel better rounded. He's put on about 10-15 lbs in muscle and some fat since and says he feels better too.

    While I definitely think people tend to project insecurities in their comments and don't always recognize a healthy weight when they see it, I wouldn't trust BMI as the end-all to your ideal.
  • wkwebby
    wkwebby Posts: 807 Member
    BMI is a guideline and totally does not take into consideration extra muscle mass. If you are on the low end of BMI, then you should definitely start to consider weight training and even gaining some additional muscle mass. Athletes with very low Body fat % but lots of lean muscle can be considered overweight by the BMI charts. So just take BMI charts with a grain of salt.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    ddddddddBatman wrote: »
    I tried weight lifting at the gym but it's not for me to be honest. It's too boring and I'm not the 'body builder' type....

    Well, I'm certainly not the "body builder" type, but lifting heavy has dramatically changed my body shape. It can be boring if you aren't challenging yourself, tracking your progress, and constantly setting new goals. Find a program or a trainer to help you get started. Be consistent and give it some time. I think that once you see the results you'll start loving it!

    This...some programs take all of 15mins (Wendler 5/3/1 esp at the start). I am not a bodybuilder either but still lift heavy things to ensure I don't lose muscle and maintain what I have.

    Here I am at 145lbs wearing a size 4...at 5 ft 7...people do not believe it.
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
    edited January 2015
    SezxyStef wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    ddddddddBatman wrote: »
    I tried weight lifting at the gym but it's not for me to be honest. It's too boring and I'm not the 'body builder' type....

    Well, I'm certainly not the "body builder" type, but lifting heavy has dramatically changed my body shape. It can be boring if you aren't challenging yourself, tracking your progress, and constantly setting new goals. Find a program or a trainer to help you get started. Be consistent and give it some time. I think that once you see the results you'll start loving it!

    This...some programs take all of 15mins (Wendler 5/3/1 esp at the start). I am not a bodybuilder either but still lift heavy things to ensure I don't lose muscle and maintain what I have.

    Here I am at 145lbs wearing a size 4...at 5 ft 7...people do not believe it.

    I believe it. I have seen people at 145 (who don't lift weights) who look closer to 180lbs to me. At 155lbs (before I gained weight) I was in a size 8 and some size 6's. I also lift weights. I'm 5'8".
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
    ddddddddBatman wrote: »
    astrose00 wrote: »
    You're not going to get rid of your stomach (unless you are going for the emaciated look) without resitance training which will lower your bodyfat% and increase your lean muscle mass.

    Surely eventually I would lose the stomach if I carried on losing weight? If not why not? I don't get it. :-/

    Are you reading what people are saying to you? Please research skinny fat and look at photos to understand what is being said to you. I'm done.
  • mymodernbabylon
    mymodernbabylon Posts: 1,038 Member
    Here you go - a non-gym programme that should help as well: nerdfitness beginner bodyweight exercises
  • mymodernbabylon
    mymodernbabylon Posts: 1,038 Member
    And p.s. I even had a tummy when I had my eating disorder - it's just the area where I keep my weight until the very end.
  • anorciia
    anorciia Posts: 4 Member
    I agree with adding muscle. Pull-up, learn to squat, deadlift, bench press of some kind, and over head press for your main lifts. Anything else is just accessory. If you have never lifted, you will get amazing results your first year if you eat enough, challenge yourself enough, and stay consistent. Getting broader shoulders, some lat spread, and muscular legs will go a long way to looking more "fit". Skinny fat sux.

    Definitely track your lifting program- that which is not measured is not improved.
    There are a bunch of programs for free online or for very low cost. Feel free to reach out for recommendations.
  • ddddddddBatman
    ddddddddBatman Posts: 12 Member
    Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. It is hard for me because I'm having a lot of emotional problems at the moment and I don't feel really up to exercising much. I also feel very weak generally.
    Will cycling help on the stomach because once the weather gets a bit nicer I think I will get the bike out.
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